Blog Meh

I went to an AA meeting tonight. As usual, I left before it even officially started. Said some polite hellos and then stepped off. Between sitting alone by myself and sitting with people who don't get me, I'll take the former.

Elijah has a profound relevance for me. My life parallels his in many ways. But in a very certain way I envy him, because he got to be alone with God; I have to be alone in a sea of people who fear and misunderstand me. I have to move at their pace, watch my language (EVERYWHERE), and hide who I truly am.

And always alone.

But it's worth it. Because it is the path for which God chose me, I will walk it. It's as simple as that. God chose me to do something very special, and if that means being treated like the local eccentric for a few years, than so be it.

Thank you for lending an ear.

 

[JasonJ]

I went to an AA meeting tonight. As usual, I left before it even officially started. Said some polite hellos and then stepped off. Between sitting alone by myself and sitting with people who don't get me, I'll take the former.

Elijah has a profound relevance for me. My life parallels his in many ways. But in a very certain way I envy him, because he got to be alone with God; I have to be alone in a sea of people who fear and misunderstand me. I have to move at their pace, watch my language (EVERYWHERE), and hide who I truly am.

And always alone.

But it's worth it. Because it is the path for which God chose me, I will walk it. It's as simple as that. God chose me to do something very special, and if that means being treated like the local eccentric for a few years, than so be it.

Thank you for lending an ear.

Click to shrink...

I never found my place in “the rooms” either. I feel like those places are holding cells for white knuckles on the verge of another go in the ring of self destruction.

I did find good fellowship in a program called regeneration at my old church. It’s similar to celebrate recovery, but more broad to include any spiritual impediment that hinders our walk with Christ.

If you can find a regeneration group near you Seek them out and give that a go . I grew more there, found solid recovery, and found a small group that shared my issues that was Christ centered. Stay strong brother in the Lord

 

[lynnmosher]

Praying for you, Matt. May the Lord bless you with a special touch of His presence for Christmas.