writer's block?

I need some advice. I have attempted to use ChatGPT, and unfortunately, it isn't helping.

As many know, I am attempting to write my life story in a fictional setting. I anticipate it being long enough to create a series. Only in recent years has my life gotten dull enough to be considered mild. Somewhere between the 5th and 7th grade was a time when Mom would take us to church. Any other experience would come via bus or grandmothers. This was when my father's alcoholism and abuse started to take a turn from very sporadic and random to constant. This drove my mom back to the only place she knew she could get peace.

My father was a very narcissistic man. Who would use religion for control and manipulation. I'll go to church. Give me a chance. But also would use it to bring abuse. Standing in front of the church when I was 13 and telling them my mom is only leaving because the meds he is on prevent him from "relations" type of abuse.

I grew up Pentecostal. I believe in the gifts, and I very much did back then before I ran from God. At one altar service, I went to pray for my dad. This was after a long, bad spell of his abuse. A week at Revival at my aunt's church, where a song was sung....I will attach, as I am sure it is unknown to many. It was a small local group that never went big. We are talking 90's.

This song hit me hard, and when I was at the altar, this was what was in my head. This song. these words. these very fears. As I am praying, the Holy Spirit takes over. Almost immediately, my mom walks over to correct me, saying I am too young and I don't understand. That she was right, I didn't fully understand, but I also know it wasn't wrong. Ever since, it has been silent for me. A barrier that has been built, and in trying to write about other experiences there that were positive, I am struggling. It sounds so robotic and as if I took various bits and pieces and tried to make it a complete thought. I am not very good at this part, the parts that paint my mom in a bad way. I know that wasn't her intention.

So what do I need?
What do you do when emotions or trauma prevent you ability to conveying your message?

In some aspects, this has been a very good therapy for me as it has unlocked memories long gone. Mostly good ones tucked behind the sad parts.

Is it ok to skip and move on, and come back later? Will it be too hard to work it into the book?

Any idea why this part is so hard for me, and yet I have covered the molestation, the physical abuse, and more, and it came so easily compared to this?

Sadly, I have misplaced the disc.

I have never had writers block from emotions or trauma, but when I do have writers block, I will usually just give it a break, or, change the scene I am writing if it is not going anywhere. Writing fantasy has helped me deal with a lot of my feelings. I can be as abstract as I want to be, and often times only I know what I am talking about.

So, I hope I spark some ideas : ) Perhaps save it for later, or come up with a way to be more fictional about it if that is possible. Parts of my writing took the entire project to be almost finished before I could write them. Hope this helps.

Don't walk where you have no light.
Set these scenes aside. Move on.
Maybe these scenes and emotions will rise in your story as flashbacks.
Maybe they won't rise at all.

Today, write what moves you. It's probably the Holy Spirit anyway.
Tomorrow, you can arrange things later.

Thank you both. I will get the new computer today. So hopefully that will help. Part feels like I am doing too much atm. Blog, books, grandkids.... Especially with those babies, they can stop me working in a heartbeat.

I had a freind in 8th grade that arranged Poe's "The Gold Bug" into a 3 man play. I played 2 ơf them. At the same tỉme.
Play both parts. Start telling your story but listen and develope questions. "Write that down!" Said the Queen of Hearts.

HopeScribed said:

I need some advice. I have attempted to use ChatGPT, and unfortunately, it isn't helping.

As many know, I am attempting to write my life story in a fictional setting. I anticipate it being long enough to create a series. Only in recent years has my life gotten dull enough to be considered mild. Somewhere between the 5th and 7th grade was a time when Mom would take us to church. Any other experience would come via bus or grandmothers. This was when my father's alcoholism and abuse started to take a turn from very sporadic and random to constant. This drove my mom back to the only place she knew she could get peace.

My father was a very narcissistic man. Who would use religion for control and manipulation. I'll go to church. Give me a chance. But also would use it to bring abuse. Standing in front of the church when I was 13 and telling them my mom is only leaving because the meds he is on prevent him from "relations" type of abuse.

I grew up Pentecostal. I believe in the gifts, and I very much did back then before I ran from God. At one altar service, I went to pray for my dad. This was after a long, bad spell of his abuse. A week at Revival at my aunt's church, where a song was sung....I will attach, as I am sure it is unknown to many. It was a small local group that never went big. We are talking 90's.

This song hit me hard, and when I was at the altar, this was what was in my head. This song. these words. these very fears. As I am praying, the Holy Spirit takes over. Almost immediately, my mom walks over to correct me, saying I am too young and I don't understand. That she was right, I didn't fully understand, but I also know it wasn't wrong. Ever since, it has been silent for me. A barrier that has been built, and in trying to write about other experiences there that were positive, I am struggling. It sounds so robotic and as if I took various bits and pieces and tried to make it a complete thought. I am not very good at this part, the parts that paint my mom in a bad way. I know that wasn't her intention.

So what do I need?
What do you do when emotions or trauma prevent you ability to conveying your message?

In some aspects, this has been a very good therapy for me as it has unlocked memories long gone. Mostly good ones tucked behind the sad parts.

Is it ok to skip and move on, and come back later? Will it be too hard to work it into the book?

Any idea why this part is so hard for me, and yet I have covered the molestation, the physical abuse, and more, and it came so easily compared to this?

Sadly, I have misplaced the disc.

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Click to shrink...

Research Brandon Heath's history behind the song, I'm Not Who I Was. He had a very hard relationship with his controlling mother, and while it was not sexual, it was emotional abuse and related to narcissism.

Yet that one song spoke to more people than any other song he's written. The raw emotion, hurt, betrayal, and struggle to forgive spoke to many people, including me. God works through our pain. It is a critical part of Rom 8:28. The GOOD that God causes to be produced by the ALL THINGS isn't always specifically for US, but ministering to others who suffered the same pain is incredibly cathartic. I found it so when sharing the terrible fear and betrayal I felt when I was being bullied as a little vulnerable kid.

As to why the unwitting harm your mother caused is hard to write about, is likely because she was the trusted figure throughout your story. Your dad's harm was expected, and while it was far more harmful and painful, it is easy to expose because he's the villain of the story.

Your mom's hurt and betrayal is not willful. It's not intentional. In some ways, it may feel like it hurts MORE. I doubt she intended to harm you, though I WILL say that many codependents tend to harm unwittingly by covering up and overlooking and passing off and over-indulging the harmful behavior of the addict. Saw some of that in my own experiences with my parents. An alcoholic family often has an addict, a codependent spouse, and the kids play the roles of either the Escape Artist (that was me) the Black Sheep, the Sacrificial Lamb, or the Fixer. Sometimes when there's only one kid, they play ALL these roles, at different times.

As to why this is hard to write, there may be fear your mom will read this, and you will hurt her back by her realizing this story in your fiction is about that exchange. She probably does NOT remember it at ALL, but might recall it if presented with this vignette into your story. And you likely don't want to hurt her. It may also be harder because the hurt is more painful and raw. We are harmed worst by the ones we trust. Though Jesus' words in Psalm 41:9, apply to this pain, her betrayal is not like Judas but more like Peter.

In the end, it's your own call whether to even include this experience in your story. If your mom is no longer living, is not likely to ever read your story, or if you believe she would never make the connection, then it might be worth sharing, as many have had that kind of betrayal happen, too, and it can be cathartic for both you and them when it's shared. So there's value in it, but pray about it, and if you don't get an answer, move on. If you do, follow His leading. He won't steer you wrong. Who knows if, even if your mother reads this, recognizes it's about her, and is hurt by that, that healing may not come, as this act may have caused a rift between you, perhaps a root of bitterness or unforgiveness, that has hindered the Spirit's work in you.

I know what to do about writer's block in fiction—for me it means I'm trying to force a story into the wrong Content Genre.
I think you're dealing with something different here.

For me, when I start feeling stuck in one writing project or section of a writing project, I just put it aside and pick up a something different for a bit. Sometimes writing a basic outline to so you know what all pieces you need can help. If you can't get one piece to work, move onto the next and come back later.
While the kind of writing projects I'm working on at current are a bit different, there are still times I wonder if something is really being written in the right way that won't cause more harm than good. Sometimes a little fury comes out and I realize I better quit that section for a bit so I'm not writing out of anger. I want to help others find the truth and mend the wrong being done, not condemn them and cause more contention. Sometimes it helps to take a break and pray for guidance. Especially this non-fiction research-style project I'm working on. Yeeks.

E.A.Cornell said:

Writing fantasy has helped me deal with a lot of my feelings. I can be as abstract as I want to be, and often times only I know what I am talking about.

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And yes, I often change details so drastically in my fiction stories that it is not even recognizable. But I know what it was. I remember, and it is like a journal written in a code that's not likely to be broken. One I can share without fear of it being understood. Yet it still has the potential to help someone else who is in a similar place. (I've never trusted journals to be a safe way of writing stuff you don't want read.)

These are al very good suggestions. Thank you Mister Chris. Yes, my mom has passed. I think you re on track as to the lack of intent on mom's part.

Some parts of me feel I'm not ready for bits of the story. Especially where this still has such a hold in my walk. To say I am still tongue tied here is an understatement. Everything from prying to deliverance has been attempted.

HopeScribed said:

I need some advice. I have attempted to use ChatGPT, and unfortunately, it isn't helping.

As many know, I am attempting to write my life story in a fictional setting. I anticipate it being long enough to create a series. Only in recent years has my life gotten dull enough to be considered mild. Somewhere between the 5th and 7th grade was a time when Mom would take us to church. Any other experience would come via bus or grandmothers. This was when my father's alcoholism and abuse started to take a turn from very sporadic and random to constant. This drove my mom back to the only place she knew she could get peace.

My father was a very narcissistic man. Who would use religion for control and manipulation. I'll go to church. Give me a chance. But also would use it to bring abuse. Standing in front of the church when I was 13 and telling them my mom is only leaving because the meds he is on prevent him from "relations" type of abuse.

I grew up Pentecostal. I believe in the gifts, and I very much did back then before I ran from God. At one altar service, I went to pray for my dad. This was after a long, bad spell of his abuse. A week at Revival at my aunt's church, where a song was sung....I will attach, as I am sure it is unknown to many. It was a small local group that never went big. We are talking 90's.

This song hit me hard, and when I was at the altar, this was what was in my head. This song. these words. these very fears. As I am praying, the Holy Spirit takes over. Almost immediately, my mom walks over to correct me, saying I am too young and I don't understand. That she was right, I didn't fully understand, but I also know it wasn't wrong. Ever since, it has been silent for me. A barrier that has been built, and in trying to write about other experiences there that were positive, I am struggling. It sounds so robotic and as if I took various bits and pieces and tried to make it a complete thought. I am not very good at this part, the parts that paint my mom in a bad way. I know that wasn't her intention.

So what do I need?
What do you do when emotions or trauma prevent you ability to conveying your message?

In some aspects, this has been a very good therapy for me as it has unlocked memories long gone. Mostly good ones tucked behind the sad parts.

Is it ok to skip and move on, and come back later? Will it be too hard to work it into the book?

Any idea why this part is so hard for me, and yet I have covered the molestation, the physical abuse, and more, and it came so easily compared to this?

Sadly, I have misplaced the disc.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

I would absolutely skip all over the place as needed. Any way that works to get it OUT. You can always revise it later.

Praying for you.

carolinamtne said:

Praying for you.

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Thank you.

Dear HopeScribed,

Thank you for reaching out. I feel your pain and want to encourage you.

Your name is HOPE! That a wonderful name! HOPE is the foundation of faith. HOPE is the blueprint of faith. Without hope, there is no faith. But you have hope and that is the starting point for change.

You ask:
"So what do I need?
What do you do when emotions or trauma prevent you ability to conveying your message?

You are not your feelings. You are who God says you are in His Word, no matter how you feel. If you are born again, your spirit rules you, not your feelings.

If you are born again, your spirit is perfect because Jesus Christ lives in your spirit. He is all you need, including your ability to write stories.

When we accept Christ as Savior, only our spirits are born again. Our soul (emotions, mind, and will) and our body are not born again. So we must contend with the soul and the body while we are on this earth. But we have God's grace to overcome every single time.

So, what do you do when emotions or trauma prevent your ability to convey your message?

1_Know that nothing can prvent your ability to convey your message without your permission. In other words, you can refuse to allow your emotions and your trauma to hold you back. Your past does not equal your future. In Christ, you have this kind of power and authority.

2_Feelings lie to us. If a feeling does not agree with what God says about you in His Word, then that feeling is a lie and you have the power and authority to reject it and replace it with the Truth.

In some aspects, this has been a very good therapy for me as it has unlocked memories long gone. Mostly good ones tucked behind the sad parts.

Is it ok to skip and move on, and come back later? Will it be too hard to work it into the book?

Your story comes from the heart of God. It is His story before it is yours. You do not need ChatGPT. You need the Holy Spirit, and if you are born again, you already have the Holy Spirit inside you. He promioses to lead you into all truth, including truth for your story. Go to Him first. Ask Him to give you the story of His heart.

Writing a story is more than just writing a story. It is a journey with the Creator. We storytellers create WITH God. He leads. We follow.

Any idea why this part is so hard for me, and yet I have covered the molestation, the physical abuse, and more, and it came so easily compared to this?

It is hard for you because you are focusing on your pain and not on Christ. He has delivered you from trauma. Here are my suggestions, based on my own experience:

1. Get into the Word of God like never before. Saturate youself with it. Listen to the Bible. Memorize verses that touch you deeply. These are the places God wants to heal.

2. Pray like never before. Forgive all who have done you wrong. Here is a promise for you: "I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten...." The locust is Satan. God will restore what Satan stole from you. Believe this! God cannot lie.

3. Attend a local church that teaches the Bible without compromise.

4. Ask the Lord to connect you with a mature female believer who can serve as your spiritual mentor.

5. As you seek God first, He will give you all you need to write your stories. (Matthew 6: 33).

I will be praying for you. Know this, dear one, you have been set free by the Blood of the Lamb! Now walk in that freedom by believing that it is real and real for YOU!


Love and Blessings in our precous Savior!

Dr. MaryAnn