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VisionWriter

Game: Tell Challenge

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Hey Everyone!

 

 

I am working on my Show don't tell skills and I was hoping you would all play a game with me. :)

 

 

The game is similar to the "you are banned" game. Here's how it works.

 

 

I'll start with a "tell" sentance that is telling an emotion. The

 

 

next person takes that "tell" line and "Shows" it to the audience, then

 

 

puts a tell line for the next player and so on.

 

 

For Example:

 

 

Tell: "She walked into the room"

 

 

Show: "Her palm lingered on the knob as her short, heavy steps echoed in the hall"

 

 

Then you would pose a tell chalange.

 

 

Make Sense? Who's ready to play? :D

 

 

"She screamed in terror"

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Tell:

 

"She screamed in terror"

 

 

Show:

 

"Her voice escaped the cage of her larynx when she saw the body hanging

 

from a tree, and reverberated through the air silencing the sounds of the

 

forest.

 

 

Tell: "She ran away."

 

 

I think this is what you want. Is this a good Show? Let me know.

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Sounds like fun! I'll give it a whirl.

 

 

Show: Ice gripped her soul as Darkness slithered closer. Paralyzed, the only movement came from deep within as terror escaped her lips.

 

 

Ok. So that's two sentences, but hey...

 

 

Tell: He fell off his bicycle.

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Oops! My bad- waited too long to post. I'll see if somebody else wants to jump in before I do another one.

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Nobody else, yet, huh? Well, let me try this one.

 

 

Tell: She ran away.

 

 

Show: Her pounding heart matched the rhythm of her feet hitting the pavement as she urged herself forward in a desperate attempt to escape.

 

 

Now let's try:

 

 

Tell: He fell off his bicycle.

 

 

Any takers?

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Awesome!

 

 

Tell: He fell of his bicycle

 

 

Show:

 

 

Jimmy's squeezed the handle brakes of his brand new bike trying to avoid the puppy that had suddenly appeared in front of him. He hardly had time to whimper "mommy!" as his rump lifted off the seat and he somersaulted over the handlebar onto the hot asphalt.

 

 

How about...

 

 

Tell: He put the knife to his chest

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I love word pictures! I could do this all day. I'll just keep going until somebody else jumps in!

 

 

Show: Tensely, he focused on his reflection as he steadily poised the blade between his ribs.

 

 

Tell: They walked up the stairs.

 

 

This is a great exercise! Thanks for starting this thread!

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Tell: They walked up the stairs

 

 

Show: The heavy thud of their slow steps sounded like thunder as the ascended the wooden staircase.

 

 

@ Calamity Thanks for playing with me! This is an area I really need help with. :)

 

 

Tell: His eyes met hers

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NIce!

 

 

No problem. This is fun! I could use the practice myself.

 

 

Show: All the world around disappeared as he fell into her soulful eyes.

 

 

Tell: He played the guitar.

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"Show: The heavy thud of their slow steps sounded like thunder as the ascended the wooden staircase."

 

 

Just as an aside - for practice - not that I'm an expert by any stretch of the imagination - but try using more metaphor than simile. For example, you could take your sentence above (which is nice) and do something like:

 

 

"Their heavy footsteps thundered as slowly they ascended the wooden staircase." or "Their footsteps thundered heavily..." or maybe something like "Their footsteps thundered as heavily they ascended..." okay. rambling now.

 

 

I don't know that that's exactly metaphor, but KWIM? Play with the words.

 

 

(BTW - I hope you don't think I'm being critical. I just know you're wanting to practice and so I thought I'd throw that out there FWIW.)

 

 

Okay - back to the game.... :D

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Thank you! That's why I started this, because I need help! That's a good suggestion. Thanks!

 

 

Show: His fingers skipped along the frets as he strummed the all familiar tune.

 

 

Tell: The cart drove down the cobble street.

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Nice! I like that phrase "his fingers skipped along the frets" - good image!

 

 

Tell: The cart drove down the cobble street.

 

 

Show: The rickety horse-drawn cart haphazardly bounced along the cobblestones.

 

 

Tell: He took a picture.

 

 

(I'm a little distracted at the moment because my husband is aiming his new toy at me, clicking away!) :rolleyes:

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Tell:he took a picture

 

 

show:He pointed the heavy camera at the mirage, his shaking hands not helping the cause as he forced his finger to press the button. (sorry, thats terrible.)

 

 

tell: he smelled the perfume

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Welcome to the game, Rael!

 

 

Tell: He smelled the perfume.

 

 

Show: The fragrance lightly played on the air as he moved across the room.

 

 

Tell: The dog barked.

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Well done!

 

 

Tell: She felt ashamed.

 

 

Show: Her insides took a dive as she realized what she'd done. - or something like that! :P

 

 

Tell: He felt sick.

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Tell: he felt sick

 

 

Show: His insides roiled as every bit of his last few meals began to resurface and haunt him.

 

 

Tell: She answered her ex's phone call.

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Show: The typical woman's "Ug!" accompanied her eye roll as she answered the familiar JAWS ringtone. "Whatdya want, Carl? I told you we're thru."

 

 

Tell: She was horrified.

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Show: Ace's face face hinted at the trouble in the humid air expecting rain....his ice cold performance on the course and its expression was nowhere near the defiant reckless grin before the team ran an Eden Home

 

 

Tell: Ace knew their was rain soon to happen the tension roiling in him the idea of entering a run across the lactic acid threshold and keeping it there till lactic acid took its toll lateer appealed to him and it was going to be rain....he walked out in relative quiet but he saw the look of dread on his temmates faces....SHOW TIME BUDS its time to cut loose he thought.

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Show: The wheels crumpled under him, leaving him deeply inhaling the pavement.

 

 

Tell: She wept for a long time.

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Tell: She wept for a long time.

 

 

Show: Hours past and still the flood of sorrow poured out through her tears.

 

 

Tell: He wrote a book.

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Show: The blank pages, like his life, meant nothing to him any more, until he wrote a book about the tragic ending of the "Love of his Life."

 

 

Tell: It was a long way down.

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Show: Jimmy watched his ball grow smaller and smaller as it disappeared into the consuming black hole until finally an almost inaudable splash confirmed his greatest fear: his ball was lost forever.

 

 

Tell: He was very angry.

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Nice one, VisionWriter!

 

 

Tell: He was very angry.

 

 

Show: His blood began to boil, obscuring his vision upon witnessing the horrific injustice.

 

 

Tell: The boy watched them drive away.

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Tail-lights winking smaller and smaller through his tears, Casey knew he'd been left behind again.

 

 

Tell: Man with Down syndrome

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