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Five stages of grief (or is it seven?)


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1 minute ago, kiwigummy said:

allow Raven to gaslight Heidi into believing she deserved to be betrayed

She's locked in her room at the aunt's house for a couple days. On a humorous note, I was going to make her experience one of the five steps of grief each day until she's let out.

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I think the five stages of grieving are there just to give people a general idea. However, it really depends on the person and how well they respond to whatever news they receive that spirals them into grief.

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And everyone deals with grief differently, especially depending on what they feel they have lost. Is Heidi going to be betrayed by Raven? Or just feel like she has been?

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12 hours ago, Sarah Daffy said:

Trying to make my MC go through this after experiencing somewhat of a "betrayal". Thoughts on how to make this work or how to write it?

You have a lot of options for dealing with grief.

There are 5 stages

1. denial

2. anger.

3. bargaining

4. sadness

5.  acceptance.

 

They do not have to be in any order and people can become stuck in a stage.

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42 minutes ago, Rene said:

And everyone deals with grief differently, especially depending on what they feel they have lost. Is Heidi going to be betrayed by Raven? Or just feel like she has been?

She’s kinda betrayed in her mind. 

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1 minute ago, Rene said:

I see. Sounds a little complicated. 🙂 I'm not sure what this would look like yet not knowing enough of the situation. 

Her best friend helps her escape the orphanage after finding out her mean aunt is sending her to reform school. Said friend leads her blindly to the aunts house where she was locked in her room. does this help?

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So Raven helps her escape the orphanage, and helps her get to her aunt, but her aunt is mean and locks her in her room? But if Raven doesn't know her aunt, how would she know that the aunt would lock her up? Am I understanding this right? Sounds like the aunt is more of a betrayer than anybody else. 

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Your character can feel betrayed, all around. She may feel betrayed by her aunt, but actually is more abused. She may feel betrayed by her friend, even if the friend had the best of intentions. Perhaps part of her own growth process includes learning to understand things as they really are.

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Posted (edited)
6 hours ago, Rene said:

So Raven helps her escape the orphanage, and helps her get to her aunt, but her aunt is mean and locks her in her room? But if Raven doesn't know her aunt, how would she know that the aunt would lock her up? Am I understanding this right? Sounds like the aunt is more of a betrayer than anybody else. 

 

3 hours ago, Wes B said:

Your character can feel betrayed, all around. She may feel betrayed by her aunt, but actually is more abused. She may feel betrayed by her friend, even if the friend had the best of intentions. Perhaps part of her own growth process includes learning to understand things as they really are.

Raven betrays her by taking her to the aunt's because she found out Heidi has an inheritance and wants to try and steal it. also wants a job with the aunt.

Edited by Sarah Daffy
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1 hour ago, Sarah Daffy said:

 

Raven betrays her by taking her to the auny's because she found out Heidi has an inheritance and wants to try and steal it. also wants a job with the aunt.

 

...and this is her best friend? I'm guessing her casual acquaintances are downright horrid...

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6 minutes ago, Wes B said:

 

...and this is her best friend?

Yes. Raven is just trying to survive.

 

6 minutes ago, Wes B said:

I'm guessing her casual acquaintances are downright horrid...

?

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19 minutes ago, Sarah Daffy said:

Yes. Raven is just trying to survive.

 

?

An attempt at humor (they don't all get a laugh...)

 

See, if her best friend is that terrible, one might presume that her lesser-best friends down the line might be even more troublesome.

 

'Course, it's not likely to be too funny once it's explained, though I may be straining hard to presume it was funny in the first place. We do our best...

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1 hour ago, Wes B said:

An attempt at humor (they don't all get a laugh...)

 

See, if her best friend is that terrible, one might presume that her lesser-best friends down the line might be even more troublesome.

 

'Course, it's not likely to be too funny once it's explained, though I may be straining hard to presume it was funny in the first place. We do our best...

She didn’t know Ravens true motives. 

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That's terrible, so Heidi truly is betrayed. That's sad. 

 

I think Heidi would feel shock, then struggling with disbelief, especially depending on what she and Raven have been through together. Perhaps she might think that she misunderstood somehow or that by even thinking Raven has betrayed her that she doing her an injustice. In the chapters I read they seemed to have a solid partnership, something that seemed trustworthy at the time. Heidi might think of their journey together and second guess every moment about Raven's motives before the truth really begins to sink in.

 

I'm sure Heidi would feel anger at being lied to and perhaps even manipulated. She might feel hate next, convinced that she hates Raven even more than she hates her mean aunt. Or if she has a good relationship with Jesus she might struggle with the hate and have to fight herself not to. And maybe that's when she begins to realize how very hurt she is by Raven's betrayal of her trust. Perhaps she feels like she can never trust anyone ever again, or perhaps she feels stupid for even believing that they were ever actually friends. She might hug herself and cry, or curl up into a ball, or just fight it completely until only the tears are leaking out of her eyes and her throat burns. She might cry until she can't cry anymore.

 

It's only after she's really mourned that she can begin to think of other things, like perhaps how to escape from her aunt or what she is going to do next. At least those are my thoughts, hope this helps. 🙂

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