critique & feedback Christian TV pilot review - can you help?

[JoshuaCartwright 3]

Hi!

 

Soon I have the chance to pitch my book Jesus and Me as a cartoon series, and they asked for a pilot episode (and a show bible).

 

I've created a ten minute script but I'm nervous I've missed something obvious as I'm new to screenwriting.

 

Is there anyone experienced in this who would be willing to look over the pages and tell me if I've got any of the technical jargon etc wrong?

 

Thanks,

 

Joshua

 

[lynnmosher 7,126]

Ooo...I wish I could help. Praying for you.

[Ky_GirlatHeart 287]

Are you looking for help on things such as punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.?

[Diamond Books 9]

We wish we could help too. Praying it will all fall into place!

[DrRita 242]

I will look at the first episode . . .  PM me with the attachment.

 

[DrRita 242]

PS. Do you know what a show bible is? I can help there too.

[JoshuaCartwright 3]

I have replied by DM. Look forward to hearing from you.