Jump to content

Welcome to Christian Writers!

We are a friendly community built around Christian writing, publishing, reading and fellowship. Register or sign in today to join in the fun!
Thomas Davidsmeier

just published The Last Roll by I.X. Pater

Recommended Posts

Hey everybody, my friend I.X. Pater (everybody says we just look a lot alike) has just published his new book up on Amazon!

 

Go check it out!

 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08HSS21L9

 

Book Description:

 

Something's off about how Commander Cortez and his Quarantine Force are locking down all of Chicagoland. What is it about this mysterious new virus strain? Is it as dangerous as the authorities say? Med school dropout turned teacher, John Robinson didn't wait to find out. He sent his wife and kids out of town just before the lockdown fell, but now he's stuck separated from his family. What's worse, his daughter's experimental medicine is with him on the wrong side of the quarantine border. When a visit to his favorite sushi restaurant turns into a series of unlikely opportunities, John starts to believe he might just get one of those coveted Travel Permits. Now, if only he can figure out why Commander Cortez seems to be running a government conspiracy to wreck John's life.

Will this heroic dad find a way to reunite with his wife and kids? Will he find out what's really going on with the virus? Or, will Commander Cortez crush him with his masked Quarantine Force troopers?

Untitled_Artwork 28 copy.jpg

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Faithful Christian dad is trapped inside a Quarantine of the Chicago area. He needs to get downstate to his wife and kids, but can't do it without a travel permit. Hiro, a sushi chef, helps the dad as he tries to find away to escape the quarantine and the megalomaniacal Commander of the Quarantine Force.

 

Written for adults, enjoyable by 12 and up. Clean, no bad words or naughty stuff.

 

I set out to write a thriller (which I've never written before, all my other works are Fantasy of one flavor or another). But, I didn't understand the genre correctly and I made the crime to abstract. I hit the puzzling it out and the villain being powerful and having the hero at his mercy. But, there are sections that are too slow and interpersonal to really be part of a thriller. My real problem was that the main external conflict is not life vs death like in a good thriller, but rather freedom vs imprisonment. And, the main internal conflict is blind obedience vs responsibility to disobey evil laws.

 

I always end up after my book is done thinking that I could have written it so much better if I'd understood it at the start the way I do at the end.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

All right, that cover won't play well with an adult audience for a thriller. You have to have a person running away, or hiding, or confronting something.  Really you do, Thomas.  It has to be something with people in it, with some sort of a conflict going on.  Let me think of it.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Self publishing. It doesn't make it as a thriller. I can't advertise it as that because I didn't manage to write what people would expect if I called it a thriller. I'm honestly struggling with where to place it in advertising/marketing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just got it to read (for free on Kindle Unlimited), but I'm busy with editing other books right now, but I should be able to look at it in two weeks or so.  Til then, hang in there!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes--except for the line "When on more roll is on too many."  It's too corny.  Now, if we can do something with that title, fill in a cityscape in the background, and get rid of the "eyes" on the soldiers, then you're on to something!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Right, a darker, more sinister-looking background, and less text. I’d cut the “one roll too many” line altogether, but if you really love it, at least cut the comma.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/11/2020 at 12:37 PM, Thomas Davidsmeier said:

I set out to write a thriller (which I've never written before, all my other works are Fantasy of one flavor or another). But, I didn't understand the genre correctly and I made the crime to abstract. I hit the puzzling it out and the villain being powerful and having the hero at his mercy. But, there are sections that are too slow and interpersonal to really be part of a thriller. My real problem was that the main external conflict is not life vs death like in a good thriller, but rather freedom vs imprisonment. And, the main internal conflict is blind obedience vs responsibility to disobey evil laws.

 

I did some research on writing thrillers before/during writing my most recent book, and according to the Story Grid website (an extremely useful spot for learning what the necessary components are for any given genre) I learned that a thriller ought to actually take the conflict beyond "life and death" into the realm of "fate worse than death." I tried to accomplish this "upping the stakes" in my story by having the husband of my heroine decide to kill her himself rather than letting her be kidnapped.

 

I wonder if for your character, imprisonment under the unjust regime might be that fate worse than death he must fight to avoid? Depending on how it's written, I think you could spin it that way and still have a true thriller. But I may be totally off-base about this...

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/12/2020 at 3:25 PM, Zee said:

 

I did some research on writing thrillers before/during writing my most recent book, and according to the Story Grid website (an extremely useful spot for learning what the necessary components are for any given genre) I learned that a thriller ought to actually take the conflict beyond "life and death" into the realm of "fate worse than death." I tried to accomplish this "upping the stakes" in my story by having the husband of my heroine decide to kill her himself rather than letting her be kidnapped.

 

I wonder if for your character, imprisonment under the unjust regime might be that fate worse than death he must fight to avoid? Depending on how it's written, I think you could spin it that way and still have a true thriller. But I may be totally off-base about this...

 

The fate worse than death that I chose for my hero was to not be able to bring his child her experimental medicine while he was trapped, in essence failing as a father. But, there's more to the story as it plays out. Maybe I should just go for thriller after all. Don't know. Amazon ads are not working so far, so that's pretty frustrating. I've probably got a bad cover or bad copy or incorrect keywords. Sigh.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Thomas Davidsmeier said:

Maybe I should just go for thriller after all. Don't know. Amazon ads are not working so far, so that's pretty frustrating. I've probably got a bad cover or bad copy or incorrect keywords. Sigh.

 

It’s ok. I’m sure it will just take time. It’s only been out for less than a week, anyway. How’s it compared to your other books?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don’t know the details of my 1st one because I was with a publisher. My second one did better, but it was LitRPG, and there are some really voracious readers in that genre. I’ve got the second one in that series 90% done and should get that out soon (a month or so! Fingers crossed).

 

Here’s another version of the cover.

E89ADE74-929B-4226-8F2F-CC4D76DE09D0.jpeg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, Thomas Davidsmeier said:

I don’t know the details of my 1st one because I was with a publisher. My second one did better, but it was LitRPG, and there are some really voracious readers in that genre.

 

I'm not at all familiar with that genre, but it sounds...explosive. Maybe readers/fans of that book would also enjoy this one, even if it is a bit different. But if you published them under two different names, they might have trouble finding it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm stuck because my day job as a public school teacher means I can't really say anything controversial or question the prevailing narrative in too public of a way. I was going to publish this one under my own name until I realized how even questioning a government order to quarantine would be considered heinously offensive by some of my co-worker friends. It is crazy town out there nowadays.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/12/2020 at 12:34 PM, suspensewriter said:

Yes--except for the line "When on more roll is on too many."  It's too corny.  Now, if we can do something with that title, fill in a cityscape in the background, and get rid of the "eyes" on the soldiers, then you're on to something!

I agree with everything @suspensewriter has said so far @Thomas Davidsmeier.  After reading the description of your narrative, my impression of the first cover didn't fit... the vision of the sushi roll w/ eyes along with the line "When one more roll is one too many." was equally creepy and funny and don't think either was your intent.  The second cover, while better, still left me chuckling at the cheesy line and weird eyes on the soldiers. The 3rd cover, however, was a lot closer to home. It intrigued me and made it feel like a suspense drama/thriller I'd want to read.  I am intrigued by the story line and now by the cover as well.  Great job!  I look forward to reading your book. 👍

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.