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zx1ninja

Hard question.

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Might be important in a closed society. Statistically for married couples, the men die before the women. Also the partner typically dies within a short time of that. I joke with my wife that it's because the women work the men to death and then can't survive without them. 

 

But if you had a choice, who would you prefer to pass on first and why?

 

For myself, my wife because she sometimes needs a lot of help, understanding and guidance. While I would be lonely and miss her, I'd rather suffer that than think what she might go through without me to help her. 

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I would rather we die together!  But, failing that, since my wife is 19 years younger than me, I would guess that I'm going to die first.  Although she would rather die first.

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I don't know about statistics, but I know a lot of widows who have survived their husbands by dozens of years. I also attended a double funeral of an elderly woman who appeared reasonably healthy but died the day after her husband passed.

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My wife past away three years ago. I hope for our children's sake that I live a long life, except of course, if the rapture happens, then we will all go together.

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My husband is not allowed to die before I do. If he does, I'll divorce him.

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My husband is an athiest. I want him to have the maximum time to find Jesus, and I'll be in paradise anyway, so I'll be happy to go first. 

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I know that my ex husband would probably die before me because of his health issues.

He died Feb 2019 and it was sudden. Despite over a decade since we divorced  and strained in frequent contact with our grown-up children, it was a difficult time for all of us.

As long as I go before the kids (and preferable having met any grandchildren that might decide to put in an appearance) - I'm happy to go first.

 

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2 hours ago, Nicola said:

My husband is an athiest. I want him to have the maximum time to find Jesus, and I'll be in paradise anyway, so I'll be happy to go first. 

I pray he finds his way. 

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1 hour ago, Shamrock said:

As long as I go before the kids (and preferable having met any grandchildren that might decide to put in an appearance) - I'm happy to go first

All children should outlive their parents. 

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35 minutes ago, zx1ninja said:

All children should outlive their parents. 

I agree completely. 

 

 

6 hours ago, zx1ninja said:

But if you had a choice, who would you prefer to pass on first and why?

 

 

For me, I know my husband's healt issues are many. But, we were going across town one day. I answered a question he asked me. My next words were, "What would you do without me?" His response was, "I don't want to find out."  I agreed with his thought. This past December, I thought I was close to finding out what that would be like. Praise God, it didn't happen. We are both in our 70s and do have some 'controlled' diseases. But,like SW if I had my wish, we'd go together.  Never really thought about this before. thank you for this discussion, zx1ninja.

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All I can say is, I have been quietly consolidating a paper trail (contacts, lists of assets with suggestions, etc) in case I take the Gospel train first.  This thinking is creeping into everything I do, like “If I buy this, of what use would it be to her?”, “would she care to live by herself in that neighborhood if we got that house now?”  Running on that assumption, why, I’ve learned to take better care of myself.  The longer face time, the better, I figure.

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Interesting answers. Of course we all know that we don't get to make that choice. Because the Lord is in control. 

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10 hours ago, Ragamuffin_John said:

I have been quietly consolidating a paper trail

 

Last November, our pastor, who was relatively new to us, gave us an assignment. He aske each of us to take time to answer questions for him and for those who would survive us.  I did the exercise.  it was very beneficial for me.  I find that now, less than a year later, I need to update the instructions to my family.  It's okay that I have to update it. Circumstances in our lives do change. 

 

I heard the story at my stepfather's mother's funeral. She was of advanced age and everytime they got a new pastor, she took in a document telling what she wanted done at her funeral. Her pastor told it as a part of his message to those who were left.

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I wasn't going to respond because it's something I don't really like to think about. As QS, I was close to losing my hubby last February, pneumonia and congestive heart failure. He has had some other rough health issues as well, like diabetes, two heart attacks, shingles, prostate cancer, gall bladder removal, both shoulders need replacing, arthritis, etc., etc., etc. Yet, he is relatively well. And then there's me and my issues. :rolleyes:

 

However, what is truly scary (which I try not to think about and leave it to the Lord to deal with) is the fact that we have no life insurance. And we're on SS and now supporting two more adults. Extremely hard. Hubby always prays that I would go first just because of no insurance and he doesn't want my life turned upside down if he went first. Just praying the rapture comes before either one of us!!! :D

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@lynnmosher my wife has life Insurance through Globe Life and it is $6 and something a month. Thankfully my work provides life insurance for me and that helps a lot and takes a little of the load off. 

 

This question is a hard one to answer. Only weeks ago, one of my cats got into some antifreeze. When I found her, it was to late. She was in her finally hours of life. So i just sat with her until she took her last breath. She wanted to be in my lap the whole time. 

 

If my wife passes before me, I assume that I'll be selfish and angry and sad amongst other things, but I should be happy for her. That is hard to say at 1st, but I should be happy for her that she is in the presence of the Lord which is something that we should all long for. Of course I would hope that she would feel the same way for me, but in a worldly sense, life must go on until eternal life begins. 

 

My grandparents were married for 60 years. When my grandmother passed away 2 years ago, my grandfather was so heartbroken that his health deteriorated and shorter than a year later, we lost him too. I do not want to go through what i witnessed him go through. So with that being said, i would rather depart 1st to spare myself that heartache, but I don't want to feel selfish by saying that, so whatever the Lord decides will be fine 😊 

 

I feel like i didnt really answer the question at all 😂

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Posted (edited)
8 minutes ago, jellicochris said:

I feel like i didnt really answer the question at all 

There is no right or wrong answer. 

Edited by zx1ninja
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