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tellingHISstory94

An Unexpected Return (And a Prayer Request)

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Hiiiii, I don't know if anyone here remembers me, since I've been inactive for so long, but I joined back in... 2010, I think? For a while I was very active as I wrote and edited my first novel (which I ended up self-publishing), but life happened and I withdrew. Sorry about that. I hope you all have found success and fulfillment in your careers and personal lives during that time! 

 

Anyway. So apart from giving y'all the heads-up that I'm back, I have a prayer request (as the topic's title implies). At this point in my career, I've self-published three novels, am doing post-publication edits on two of them (because when I published them, I was 18 and 19, respectively, and they need help), and just did a complete rewrite of the third (which was a hot mess after I couldn't manage to get enough beta readers and made the mistake of editing and publishing it anyway). I'm now editing that rewrite, and though there's a lot more to be done on it, I know it's better than the original, so that's something. But I'm fighting a major case of, "Why am I doing this? Who cares?" 

 

Some factors that are probably playing into this issue: 

 

- I have a chronic illness (Lyme disease -- I contracted it at probably 16 and was diagnosed at 18, and I'm 25 now, so it's been a thing for a while). It messes with me in basically every way possible, and makes it hard to get a lot done at a time, between sickness, fatigue, focus issues, and mental health struggles. 

- Like I said, this is a rewrite of a book that I published once (after working on it for three years), which basically means this version exists because the original failed. So my panicky brain keeps trying to convince me that because the first failed, then no matter what I do, this one will, too. (I also took a couple of risks story-wise which my betas really liked, but one never knows how the readers will respond upon publication.) 

- Good old Impostor Syndrome -- it gets to the best of us. I'm trying to fight this a bit with the aforementioned post-pub edits of the previous two books, because I figure my horror over how unpolished they are will lessen if I can polish them up now and therefore save potential readers from their current terribleness. 

- Slightly heavier thing: I lost my mom at the beginning of October (to stage four breast cancer metastasized to the brain). We were very close and she was always my biggest supporter (both creatively and with my chronic illness), so on top of all the usual fallout one might expect from losing a parent in one's twenties (side note, I'm still living with my dad, and have taken over some of the things Mom used to do, like shopping, cooking, and dishes [things I was already doing to some extent because her cancer restricted her ability to function fully]), she's also not around to give me pep talks, listen to me vent about writing/editing problems, or kick me in the pants if I've stated a goal and am dragging my feet on it. 

Sorry this is coming so out of the blue, but basically, I've had great experiences in the past with the members of this wonderful community, and I'm trying to get better about reaching out and connecting with a support network rather than hermit-ing and going it alone, so here I am. ON THAT NOTE. If any of you have prayer requests of your own, please feel free to share them here. There's not much I can do ministry-wise with my health issues, but prayer is one of the few things I can manage, so I'd love to know how I could pray for all of you. Thanks for reading, and have a blessed day. 

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5 hours ago, tellingHISstory94 said:

Hiiiii, I don't know if anyone here remembers me, since I've been inactive for so long, but I joined back in... 2010, I think?

I remember you! I think I even critiqued sections of the Sehret Chronicles in the critique section. I was so impressed by your craft and your focus on writing, and I wished I'd been as motivated when I was your age.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother to breast cancer when I was 13, and I know it's hard and painful.

 

It's wonderful that you're back! I, too, took a long hiatus from this community and only became active again last year. I've also gone the indie publishing route. God has put a gift in you. You're a writer with stories to share. Please do stick around and let's continue to build each other up.

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{waving} Well, hello! So glad you're back and you still have the passion to write.

 

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother. Saying a prayer for you. 🧡

 

You can search this forum (general) for prayer requests. There are several you can respond to if you like.

 

Happy you're back! :D

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8 hours ago, tellingHISstory94 said:

Like I said, this is a rewrite of a book that I published once (after working on it for three years), which basically means this version exists because the original failed. So my panicky brain keeps trying to convince me that because the first failed, then no matter what I do, this one will, too. (I also took a couple of risks story-wise which my betas really liked, but one never knows how the readers will respond upon publication.) 

 

Welcome back! I did the same thing to my first novel that I (self) published. While my beta-readers loved it at the time, it became apparent some time later (after I published four more) that it really needed more editing.  So I made some much needed changes and gave it a new (much better) cover. It sells better now.

 

8 hours ago, tellingHISstory94 said:

Good old Impostor Syndrome -- it gets to the best of us. I'm trying to fight this a bit with the aforementioned post-pub edits of the previous two books, because I figure my horror over how unpolished they are will lessen if I can polish them up now and therefore save potential readers from their current terribleness. 

 

You're not the only one who suffers from this. One of my books got a good review from Publishers Weekly, and I still fight feelings of terribleness about it. 

 

The one thing to remember about post-pub edits is to keep proper perspective. With my first book, it was easy to go back and smooth out all the rough writing. I had learned a lot since I had first published it. However, I can back today and find more...and more...and more. Would all these tweaks make as big a difference as the first post-pub revision? Probably not. 

 

The point I'm trying to make is to be careful with reworking published books. You could easily spend too much time for too little reward, and what's worse, it pulls you away from writing new material. Sometimes it's best to accept that your old work is never going to measure up with your current standards, and that's okay. Besides, we're likely being too harsh on our past work, anyway.

 

      

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Hi, welcome back to Christianwriters! I am am sorry for your loss, I will be praying for you too.

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1 hour ago, Sarah Daffy said:

 I've had Lyme disease so I can relate to that. Hope everything works out.

Did it clear up? Any co-infections?

 

I was told I had Lyme's and underwent a ridiculous course of potent antibiotics to no avail.

My new doctor had me tested for mold. Turns out I have elevated levels of Ochratoxin A and she suspects Bartonella.

 

I really, really, really, like hearing successful healing stories. Hoping yours is one of them!

 

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12 minutes ago, RockyMtn Gal said:

Did it clear up? Any co-infections?

 

I was told I had Lyme's and underwent a ridiculous course of potent antibiotics to no avail.

My new doctor had me tested for mold. Turns out I have elevated levels of Ochratoxin A and she suspects Bartonella.

 

I really, really, really, like hearing successful healing stories. Hoping yours is one of them!

 

It's a long story, but I had it for several years after a food poisoning. (I might have been born with it; my mother had it before she was healed) After lots of doctors I was prayed over and God started to heal me.  I was allergic to corn, wheat, dairy, and several other foods but I started to take my foods back and God healed me.

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15 hours ago, tellingHISstory94 said:

I contracted it at probably 16 and was diagnosed at 18

Yep, I get it. You're not the only one. Been suffering from some tick-borne bacteria for at least 7 years.

 

I don't know if you looked into it (I apologize in advance if I'm feeding you information you already know), but something I've heard/read about over and over is how tick-borne illness and mold toxicity go hand in hand. If you are being exposed to mold, your body can't get rid of it due to Lyme's. They work in tandem to lower the immune system, inhibiting its ability to fight either. Lyme's patients tend to stay ill unless they are first removed from the mold exposure.

 

Binders such as Cholestyramine, zeolite, and activated charcoal help to remove the toxins, but if you are constantly exposed to the mold, it's like bailing water from a leaky boat. There are blood and urine tests to check for mold concentrations in the body. I highly recommend getting checked.

 

Reading the Psalms has allowed God to help me immensely. It's easy to relate to the writers who struggled and cried out to God in the midst of their affliction. 

He upholds with his right arm. Keep crying out to Him.

 

I pray that God will grant you healing! Hang in there!

Edited by RockyMtn Gal
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