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Miss Bad Wolf

Frustrated Bad Wolf requests prayer

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Without going into too much details as it is getting late, I am in a frustrating time in my life.  Things were worse in the past I know.  I hope for better things in the future but I cannot tell the future.

i struggle with depression which some suicidal thoughts come with it.  It is more like I wish I was dead and in heaven where there is no more pain not I have a plan to end my life.

Also I have a mysterious pain in right hip joint which bothers me when walking up or down stairs or getting in or out of vehicles.  I have a doctor appointment at end of the month.

I keep asking my support team to re-evaluate my diagnosis as I do not know what is wrong with me.

i just got a temp ban at another forum.  I am still not sure what I did wrong but will find out more in a week I guess.

I think I need to go to bed soon but one mote thing. I am a struggling writer who has a lot of ideas but no finished work,  but now is bed time.

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I'm so sorry for all this, MBW. You might be deficient in some vitamins as the lack can cause bone problems and depression. One vitamin is D3. Praying for you and your appointment. So glad you've chosen to go to the doctor. :)

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Praying for you! God still has plans for you. It's hard for us to see how or why when we are in such trying times, but if you can find the strength to trust in His promises over your feelings, I know He will pull you through. (I know, it's much hard to do than to say.) I don't think it's a bad thing to wish for heaven, as long as we continue to trust in God's timing. I have felt the same many times. Even Paul, I believe, felt that. "To live is Christ, to dies is gain" I hope this brings you some some comfort.  

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Praying for you!  Some favorite verses of mine :)

 

Lamentations 3:22-24

22 It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.

23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

24 The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.

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4 hours ago, Miss Bad Wolf said:

think I need to go to bed soon but one mote thing. I am a struggling writer who has a lot of ideas but no finished work

 

I find that some of the best stuff I've written was when I was sad, mad, upset, frustrated, or feeling like the world was ending.  Pouring it out on a page can be therapeutic.

 

Not sure how old you are, but having pains in my left hip, and coincide with the same things you cited.  Doctor believes it is osteoarthritis.  Nothing we can do until it starts affecting quality of life.  I could take something for it, it I'm getting older.  It's not going to go away.  I'll just live with the pain.

 

Pain is a part of life, it reminds us we are alive.

 

Internet bans are like...well...never mind.  Everyone gets one or two after a while.  They burn and itch, and eventually go away.  It isn't worth getting upset about.

 

Matthew 6:26 - 27

Look at the birds of the air: They do not sow or reap or gather into barns—and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his lifespan?

 

Worrying about the future is pointless.  The future comes in its own good time.  Live in the now.  You may find that by doing that, the storm may have come and gone, and you barely noticed its passing.

 

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Thank you for the support.  I am at a mall’s food court trying to get into writing my story instead of thinking about food.  I am currently pretty much broke when it comes to spending money.  I left my dollar and change at home.  (Not that I can get much at a mall food court with a dollar and change.)

Why am I at a mall’s food court with no money?  Because that is where I work.  I am a cashier at one of the restaurants in the this food court.

As for my age, I am 36 but I guess that means in April I will turn 37, though I sometimes think I age backwards since last year so I would be 35 or 34 but nope, I am afraid I am fast approaching the big 4-0.

I was going to say something but I forgot what that was.  I left home in a hurry and forgot my water bottle and my watch.

Am I rambling?

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I'll be praying for you, MBW! So sorry to hear you're going through all this.

 

Btw, my birthday is in April, too!! I'll be 21. 😃😃

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Apparently there are some people who might hate me as they are always talking bad about me to my boyfriend. I asked him who are they?  Not to name them but to have him to realize who. The source of the naysayers talk.  I asked so that he will think about who are they to change his opinion.

My mum is almost always telling me after I complain about Naysayers is to consider the source.  I am trying to remember who are they and why do their opinions matter to anyone?

I understand it is best to pick my battles as not every battle is winnable or worth my time.

 

I guess I need to remember not to leave my Bluetooth keyboard in my mum’s car and that the only person who has an opinion that matters is the same One a lot of people hate for unknown reasons or something.  I guess it is not my job to correct everything someone says bad about me but to pray for them.

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Oh forgot to say that I got a nurse part of my support team.  I will be seeing her tomorrow before work.  Hopefully we can figure out if I need a sooner doctor appointment or not.  My thigh has really been bothering me today for some unknown reason.

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Oh I forgot to say any updates.  I went to the doctor last Friday.   There is not much that I can do about my leg.  I also fell down last week or the week before while going up some stairs too fast.  I bruised my left knee.

My doctor suggested trying to hem my pants and to lose some weight.  I think I gained about ten pounds since the last visit.

Also having other issues.  Got a boyfriend and I am being accused of manipulating him.  I am not sure how to react with that.  Normally I would think that boyfriend issues would be keeping myself pure not this.  I am not sure what is going on, but I got to go to work as I start in 4 minutes.

As things get better, other things get worse and confusing.

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