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Lucian Hodoboc

Prayers request

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13 hours ago, EClayRowe said:

Don't base faith on feelings.

He's right; because feelings can change. You must never judge your spiritual condition by your own feelings. We humans are a fickle lot, apt to change from day to day. Judge your condition by looking to the solid Rock, Jesus Christ our refuge, and what He's doing in your life. 🙂

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17 hours ago, Lucian Hodoboc said:

According to Isaiah and Jesus, that would make me a hypocrite, wouldn't it? (Isaiah 29:13, Matthew 15:7-9).

Are you thinking that a commandment of men is the same thing as an act of man's will?  I think they are different. 

Drawing near to God dispite all my fallen nature's protest is to worship a higher Will than my own. Man's command in these passages you quote seems to me to concur with my fallen nature rather than my will to be near God. 

17 hours ago, Lucian Hodoboc said:

, so I didn't really seek God until a few years ago. My search for God seems to have increased my mental health problems to an almost debilitating level.

I rejoice that you seek God. Something in you, God Himself in you recognises and propels you toward the Light.  Halleluliah! I praise God for you, for loving you into the high and exalted search for what is high and exalted. 

Difficulties? Strong resistance? A Fight with casualties? Yes. The Cross shows that no one will pay like Jesus paid, and we all complete what He suffered. Col 1:24

All the more reason and reward to draw near to Him who has the victory. 

As you can see, we continue to pray for you. God brings you to my mind throughout my days. He sees your suffering. He moved you to reach out to this community and I praise Him for the love you have found here! 

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Posted (edited)

@Lucian Hodoboc, the very fact that you feel torn up and guilty over this shows your heart. Your heart that God knows and loves deeply.

 

Worshiping at this time will not make you a hypocrite, because your heart is crying out for help. You are not trying to run from God. So, run to Him. He is waiting with open arms.

 

I have some OCD tendencies. The devil tries to get me by making me ruminate over and over on certain things. Like "is that what my true thoughts are" or "what was that random thought, how would that come across to others". He knows our weaknesses and he will exploit them. I truly believe he will throw thoughts into our minds that he knows will spin us out and make us question ourselves and our worthiness before God. (Note, we are none of us worthy anyway. He makes us worthy.)

 

BUT. Your reaction shows you are not pleased. You do not like your situation. It is not where you want to be. You want to be with God. That is where your heart is. You are not a hypocrite.

 

Romans 8:38-39 (NIV).

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

I will be praying for you. 

Edited by PenName
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"He who began a good work in you WILL bring it to completion in the day of Christ Jesus." 

 

Phil. 1:6 (emphasis mine)

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Lucian, having many members of my family, past and present, going through the same sort of thing I learned it can be, but not always, demon related.  However, sometimes, there can be a chemical imbalance that benefits from medication--man or God made.  Believe it or not, God saw to that need when he provided certain herbs with properties in them to help rebalance the body.

 

Surprisingly, sometimes it is a food allergy or lack of certain nutrients.  Are you old enough to remember how a certain red food dye proved harmful to children, actually changing their personalities?  One summer I changed my family's diet to almost totally fresh fruits and vegetables and was amazed at how quickly the anxiety and depression lifted from one member.  Smoothies were particularly helpful because they allow the nutrients to get into the bloodstream that much faster.  Over a decade later we found that gluten and other food allergies not only caused physical pain, but negative emotional reactions in another young member.

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6 hours ago, Becky Bradley said:

Believe it or not, God saw to that need when he provided certain herbs with properties in them to help rebalance the body.

Definitely!  I've heard niacin, vitamin B3, can be helpful for depression/ocd/anxiety. 

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1 hour ago, HK1 said:

Definitely!  I've heard niacin, vitamin B3, can be helpful for depression/ocd/anxiety. 

This is information I have gathered over many years.  Not being a doctor, I caution you to be very careful if you decide to explore any of the herbs I am listing.  Please remember, herbs are medicine, too.  Though they seem to have fewer side affects than manmade medicine, there is always the chance of allergic reactions or interaction with other drugs or health conditions.  For instance, some people can not take foods that contain vit. k because of heart issues, etc., or  grapefruit with certain medications.  Please do your research if you plan to explore any of these.

 

Herbs that help fight anxiety, etc: Chamomile, verbena, lavender, vit d, skullcap, lemon balm, gingko biloba and red clover.  Passion flower is the weaker version of kava-kava without kava's risk.  According to my research, don't take with other sedative type herbs, etc.  Recommended dosage is very, very low.  Kava is very powerful and is one of the herbs that have been researched comparable to prescriptions.  Valerian root promotes relaxation and sleep. Omega 3s may help with depression and anxiety. It prevents neurotransmitters from overpowering the brain, preventing leakage of these hormones and regulating their flow.  It stabilizes the cells so they can better communicate their messages.  It is a possible addition to supplements for bipolar and manic depression.  Ginger, rose petals, melatonin, lemon grass are more herbs that might help.  So is ashwanghanda, an African herb found in health stores.  It reduces the stress hormone cortisol by 28% in just 2 months, anxiety by 44% and depression by 69%.  It stabilizes mood, manages weight, treats insomnia, is suppose to work better than psychotherapy and has no side affects.  But going overboard on dosage can cause stomach distress and diarrhea.  Magnesium deficiency greatly increases anxiety and depression.  Foods that have magnesium are dark chocolate, pumpkin seeds, avocados, nuts, fatty fish, whole grains, and leafy greens.

 

Where I am an advocate of herbs, I still encourage you to use caution, carefully research them and work with your primary medical caretaker if you choose to use them. 

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Hope is always hardest to see in the middle of the storm. When visibility is low, it is difficult - sometimes impossible - to see where things are going, and when pain (whether physical, mental, or spiritual) is involved, the questions of why always seem to come to exacerbate the problems. It only seems to help open the flood gates further of the bottomless waters of sorrow from within the deepest part of the soul. 

 

I have not been through what you have, so I cannot say I know what you are going through, but I have gone through similar feelings as the ones you have described. To say they were the same, though, would be asinine and a foolishly presumptuous. One of my favorite verses brings me hope. Proverbs 14:10 says "The heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy."

 

If you have not tasted the joy of your heart, just know that it IS coming! Matthew 5:4 - "Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted." The Lord did not specify WHEN that comfort will come, but He is no liar, it will come. Even if that comfort does not come on this earth (which I believe it will), you will be comforted through all eternity with Him in the end. And in eternity, our time here on earth is but a speck of dust upon the vast sands of the beaches of heaven. 

 

Among the thousands of years of history, among the billions of galaxies in the universe, among the 70 sextillion stars counted so far, among the countless planets they may inhabit, among the billions of different species on this planet, among the billions upon billions of people who have lived among the thousands of years, past and even future, God know you! He does not know OF you. He KNOWS YOU! He even has the hair on your head numbered! He knows that, not because He's weird like that. He knows that because He cares so much about you... and he knit you together in your mother's womb, so of course He knows! He knows you because He had a plan for your life before you were born. He had a plan for your life long before the earth itself was even formed! It is hard for us to understand His plan. Why there is such pain in it. But sometimes that comes from our fallen world in uninvited, and unexpected ways. God is not surprised by these things, but He can turn all things for our good, if we let Him. An unknown author once said, "Nearly all God's jewels are crystalized tears." You are more precious to Him than all the jewels of this world! And nothing you can do can change that. No amount of depression or anxious feelings can change that. It is a fact. Hold onto it. When things just don't make sense, lean on Him! He will carry you through. 

 

I apologize for the length, and I hope this helps. 

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On 12/28/2019 at 7:29 PM, lynnmosher said:

If you have received the Lord Jesus as your Savior, He lives in you and you are saved.

Matthew 7:21 disagrees. 😕

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Matthew 7:21 doesn't necessarily disagree. But you must look at context and take scripture in light of scripture. John 3:16: For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. 

 

This doesn't contradict Matthew 7:21, but Matthew 7:21 adds a caveat. In context, it says this.

 

“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them. Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’ “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” When Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were amazed at his teaching, because he taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law.

 

This passage is more a warning that God knows the heart and knows a true believer from a hypocrite. There is a story in Acts of a group of priests who were casting demons out in Jesus and Paul's name, but they weren't Jesus followers. The demon responded, Christ I know, and I've heard of Paul, but who are you? and beat them up. That doesn't negate Jesus' saving power, but saying the words doesn't make it so. Faith without actions is dead. It's not actions that saves you, but true belief will have actions follow suit. 

 

When Matthew 7:21 says Not everyone who says to me 'Lord, Lord' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven, it is not saying that your salvation can be lost, but that true salvation comes from true belief, and your actions will follow your belief. 

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Amen, Jared! Thank you!

 

Lucian, please do not depend on your feelings. They can change every time you take a breath. True belief comes from trusting in the Lord and standing on His Word. It's taking a stance in Christ's salvation given to you no matter which way the wind of your feelings blows. It's a fact that you stand on, not changeable feelings.

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1 hour ago, Lucian Hodoboc said:

I don't feel like I have true belief...

It's not the strength or size of our faith that matters.  It's Who our faith is in.  Jesus has done everything for our salvation.  If you've trusted Him to save you, you're saved.  And you're saved forever.

 

Romans 8:35-39

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.

37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

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2 hours ago, Lucian Hodoboc said:

I don't feel like I have true belief.

Doubt is very natural, especially for us humans. I relate greatly to the father who asked Jesus to save his daughter - "I believe, please help my unbelief."  It sounds like a contradiction, but it came from a heart that really wanted to believe but found it difficult to do so. Some people say doubt is evil, but I disagree. Allowing doubt to influence our actions can lead to evil, but doubt itself can propel us to desire to know God better. It depends upon how we react to our doubt that makes the difference between the two. 

 

As a youth I had a great many doubts. It took over a decade, but God slowly answered every one of my questions in quite amazing ways. Do I still doubt today? There are times I feel doubts enter my mind, but my faith is so much stronger because of the doubts that I have had in the past, not because I doubted but because I sought answers - I sought to know the Lord better. 

 

I think Lynnmosher and HK1 are also correct, our emotions are fickle things. The quote goes "Emotions are great servants, but terrible masters." I would be foolish to say ignore your emotions. None of us can do that. But realizing that our emotions sometimes do not depict reality as it is but rather how we feel. It is a distinction that is important. We cannot flippantly abandon our emotions. They are truly how we feel, but we also do not want to be mastered by them. 

 

I mentioned my favorite poem, "Footprints" somewhere else, but I really think it's applicable here and bears repeating. The poem is about a man who sees his life before and behind him as footprints in the sand. As he looks back, he sees two footprints aside the seashore. His own, and the Lords. But he notices that at the most difficult times in his life, there were only one set of footprints.  - In our own lives, especially in times of trials, we feel alone and abandoned and question why this is happening to us - when the man asked the Lord why he abandoned him in his times of need, the Lord looks at him with love and replies, My son, that is when I carried you. 

 

It is important to recognize your feelings, don't ignore them, but at the same time do not let them dictate reality either. If you feel like you do not truly believe, perhaps seeking answers like I did as a youth will help alleviate these doubts and feelings you have. Seek the Lord and try to get to know Him better. We all can benefit from getting to know the Lord better. Seek His promises and learn about his Faithfulness - not just learn, but witness them, seek out examples of them from within your own life. Your emotions are a gateway to your heart, and your head cannot move very far from your heart. Pray, ask the Lord to reveal Himself to you. The Lord is not hiding, He wishes to be known by you. 

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This discussion made me think of this song... :)

 

 

 

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