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Johne

Novel Introductions #18

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A beginning, it is said, is a very delicate time (bonus points if you know where that's from). In the past I've dashed off beginnings which sang the first time out. No such luck here. I've written and rewritten (and REWRITTEN) the beginning of THE BLUE GOLEM eighteen times and change. So far I've had a fine collection of mis-steps, near-misses, and intriguing failures. The harder I work, the closer I get, but I know when I read that perfect beginning, and it's. just. not. happening.
 

I've long since given up any illusions that I'll nail the perfect beginning - I just want something that isn't embarrassing. Here's the latest attempt:

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I wasn’t always a golem, and I haven’t always been a detective, but you have to start somewhere.


#takethatResistance #amwriting

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I'd say that's a great beginning!  It makes me want to keep reading to find out what happens next.  Nailed it!

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Why not reverse the order of the revelations, to make the more startling one second? Detectives we meet any day, comparatively speaking.

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4 hours ago, Zee said:

Why not reverse the order of the revelations, to make the more startling one second? Detectives we meet any day, comparatively speaking.


That's an interesting idea but I think it buries the lede. Also, 'golem' is shorter than 'detective' and naturally follows as far as cadence goes. It's an interesting idea, though, and one I hadn't thought of. Thanks!

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2 minutes ago, Nicholas Reicher said:

That one is good...  I'd go with that.

Awesome! One sentence down, 7500 to go! ;)

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Fresh off a "First-Line Frenzy" webinar:

 

First-person narration established.

 

"Golem" announces a fantasy setting. "Detective" announces mystery. Parallel clauses imply a mysterious mashup of genres. Mashup sales are really hot right now.  Maybe "gumshoe" is better. Alliteration and syllable parallels.

 

The questions asked in this sentence: Who is this person?  What was he before he was a golem? Why did he become a detective?

 

This is very rich. It has the "hard-boiled" style of a pulp crime story.

 

Stet. Don't churn this any more.

 

 

 

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4 minutes ago, EClayRowe said:

Fresh off a "First-Line Frenzy" webinar:

Ooh! Is this a regular thing? Where did you find this?

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31 minutes ago, Johne said:

Ooh! Is this a regular thing? Where did you find this?

It was offered in the Reedsy newsletter.  Monthly with a signup. Live to participate; recorded if unable.

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This probably sounds like a dumb suggestion, but I'll throw it out anyways.  I seem to recall that the process for making a golem involved writing a hebrew letter on the forehead of the creature in order to give it life.  Why not start there?

 

Something like, "I thought the letter that gave me life fixed my fate and destiny, a protector and guard.  How was it that my fate was to be a detective?"

 

Edit: No golems were harmed in the making of this post.

 

 

 

Edited by Jeff Potts
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I was chatting with @Nicholas Reicher who gave me some tips:

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Your Golem needs the word "truth" on his right hand. It's pronounced "Emet" (eh-met)., aleph mem tav. אֱמֶת 
If the beginning Aleph (right most letter) is wiped off, he becomes met - dead.
That's how the legend goes.

 

For the Thriller structural genre, the Global Life Value goes from Life > Unconsciousness > Death > Threat of Damnation. My novel's climax is a barn-burner and leans hard on this threat of damnation where the ultimate victory is achieved through death based on Jewish golem lore.

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Guest N R
18 hours ago, Jeff Potts said:

Edit: No golems were harmed in the making of this post.

Excellent. 

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