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Spaulding

Solyent Green is People!

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Did I catch your attention? xD

 

I'm having problems differentiating between people and stuffies. (Stuffed animals.) This wasn't too much of a problem in Book 1, but it has become a problem for Book 2. People have come to help the stuffies.

 

In a stuffie's mind, there are two genders and different ages, just like people. (Not just pronouns. Also includes the words "boys," "girls," "kids," and "grownups.")

 

There are also two kinds of homo sapiens -- humans or people. Humans are dangerous, because they don't notice stuffies. That means they can step on them, kick them out of the way, toss them to a dog, or throw them wherever they want. People at least notice them enough that they don't step on them, kick them, or throw them. (They might toss, but it's a gentle toss to a soft surface. Never to a pet.)  They might even know stuffies are alive. People good. Humans bad.

 

There are also three kinds of animals -- warm-blooded, cold-blooded, and stuffed. Never call non-stuffed animals "real," because they're all real.

 

And one of the groups of stuffies -- the cooks -- are (the community's) Cub Scouts, because they were all made by a group of Cub Scout People, became buddies to the scouts, and therefore they developed into the scouting culture. Not a problem, until people came. Because who is most likely to come and help a group in need? Scouts. Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, Brownies, and Girl Scouts. All people.

 

How can I differentiate between human scouts and stuffie scouts? Especially when the POV character doesn't know the peoples' names.

 

These sentences are awkward, and yet I have spent six chapters trying to avoid something like this, and it's not working every time. Any help appreciated.

 

Quote

A Brownie People brought a tray of soup to the injured. When she set it down, Jerry and the community's cub scouts served the soup in appropriate-sized containers.

 

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6 hours ago, Spaulding said:

How can I differentiate between human scouts and stuffie scouts? Especially when the POV character doesn't know the peoples' names.

 

Hi Spaulding- why do you have to differentiate them?

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2 hours ago, suspensewriter said:

 

Hi Spaulding- why do you have to differentiate them?

Humans bad. People good.

 

Imagine living with all brown-eyed people consider you trash and treat you accordingly. Where does your instinct go, whenever you see any people you don't know. Instinctively, you're leery of them. Might walk over to the other side of the street, or duck into an alley to avoid them. Worse yet, how do you get a job, see a doctor, or hire a mechanic to work on your car? And yet, not all people are bad. Just brown-eyed people.

 

Once a person comes up to you with any-color-eyes-but-brown, you can then relax. But then again, how relaxed can you be? All people make you nervous because most people have brown-eyes.

 

That's their problem. They know the people helping them out are good people, but people make them nervous. Some of these same people threw them away five weeks ago, so they notice people in their camp.

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What about capitalizing references to the good people. 

On 11/28/2019 at 1:31 PM, Spaulding said:

A Brownie People brought a tray of soup to the injured

A BROWNIE brought a tray of soup ...

 

On 11/28/2019 at 1:31 PM, Spaulding said:

Jerry and the community's cub scouts served the soup in appropriate-sized container

Jerry and the cub scouts served ...

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6 hours ago, carolinamtne said:

What about capitalizing references to the good people. 

A BROWNIE brought a tray of soup ...

 

Jerry and the cub scouts served ...

Ah, we're getting somewhere. I can see this... except one detail. Skateboarders in Book 1. Through a series of events, skateboarders intentionally trashed three stuffies. They caused great harm/the climax. Now, in Book 2, they're trying to make amends. So, are they skateboarders or SKATEBOARDERS?

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Here's where I wish we could have different font colours in our manuscripts!  Maybe you could get away with different fonts if it is a childrens' book?

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