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Nicholas Reicher

15 Alarming Reasons you'll fail NaNoWriMo!

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Clickbait! I'm learning how to write blog headlines.

 

Here's the actual reasons people fail NaNo,

 

  1. You did not plan. Recently I went on a self justified rant about how 4% of writers are pants'ers and 92% of planners think they're pants'ers. simple answer - if you are a pant'ser, you'd have written and completed six novels by now. If not... you're a planner. You failed to plan, which is planning to fail. Stop, and get your book planned, then resume writing.
  2. Pollyanna. You dislike stress, and just want to have a good time writing. Stress is a good thing - and there's nothing UNenjoyable about writing. Nobody on this forum has ever said, "Man, I hate writing! What drudgery!" Develop discipline, and NaNo's a good way to do it. Another of my coffee cup quotes - "Quitters never win, winners never quit."
  3. Bill The Cat. You're overstressed. (ack). Life is beating you up, and your novel's not helping. Switch the direction you're thinking - writing novels is an escape! If you need to, just take the LOTR plot and rewrite all three books, with the flavored coffee of your choice (hazelnut is good).
  4. Comatose. You fell asleep Oct. 31, and woke up Nov. 30, shouting "NaNoWriMo!" This doesn't happen too often.
  5. You did not plan. Seriously, the number one rule.
  6. On a Green Acres watching binge. What's your priority, watching Youtube or being a writer? Writers write. If you don't write, what are you? A distracted writer. All the distracted writers on the forum raise your... look, a squirrel!
  7. Kidnapped by Dr. Who. This only happened to me once. @Johne suffers from this regularly. You can thank him for not being up to your armpits in Daleks.
  8. Planned, but not sufficiently. Writing an outline is kind of... half hearted planning by most people. Writers don't think in outlines - that's why we don't like them. We like checklists. So have a 3 step system of expanding checklists for your novel.
  9. Saved, but think you're not. Re-read 1 John, and go write.
  10. Computer crash. Happened to me last year during NaNo, but thanks to Dropbox I still won.
  11. Self doubt. Self doubt never wrote a novel. Agents complain that writers come in two varieties - those who think they're great and aren't (me), and those who are great and think they aren't (everyone else on this board). Go write.
  12. Distracted Much. Listen, I did take out the garbage. No, I used to have that GI Joe, it was cool. Had the space capsule too, but gave it to my nephew. You know he lives near Microsoft? Cortana is spying on me.
  13. Family stress. There's nothing more important than family, and nobody hurts you more than family. Short of disowning the lot of them, you can't avoid meltdowns in November. That's why you plan on 2100 word days the first five days as a buffer zone!
  14. You quit on yourself. Probably as a combination of #11 and #8.
  15. Wait, it's NaNoWriMo already? Yes. You're late.
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Every one of the hilarious examples on the list are so relatable!! I have many of those things that I need to get over: the lack of self -confidence, the being too easily distracted, the distaste for writing outlines, and so much more!! This was so brilliantly done, I may make a copy and frame it for inspiration! Thank you so much for sharing, Nicholas! 😁😂😀😄

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I'd be willing to skip NaNoWriMo this year if it meant I got to travel with the 11th doctor! Besides, he could always bring me back to a few minutes after I left, so I wouldn't even have to skip.

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