Jump to content

Welcome to Christian Writers!

We are a friendly community built around Christian writing, publishing, reading and fellowship. Register or sign in today to join in the fun!
Manna

critique & feedback Looking for a critique partner with lighter stories

Recommended Posts

My name is Brianna and I am looking for someone to critique my Christian fantasy, short stories, children’s, memoir or romance. Take your pick. Memoir and romance are not my specialties, but I need critiques and advice from someone whom it is.

I will critique your story in return if we find we’re a good match for each other. 

I do not do gay or erotic romance, nor horror or dystopian. I don’t like dark stories. Though I am not opposed to adventure and controversy. 

You will find my stories more lighthearted and innocent. I know: I’m unfashionable and not up with the times. :)

Thank you for considering me!

 

Example of one of my stories: A girl takes a train ride back in time to the Old West. There she meets cowboys and Indians and jack-a-lopes. And eventually Jesus. A take-off of The Nutcracker.

 

Ex of short story: A young woman meets a man who tells her that for a day she will see with spiritual eyes. She literally sees the condition of people’s hearts and minds and fragrance.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

MG writer here. Could you tell a bit more about what you mean with "children's stories?" I'm not much help with PB's, unless they're for older kids in that range. (As in there is truly a story, versus literally a picture book.) MG and YA are my comfort zones.

 

And as far as not liking dystopian or dark, that may not be as black and white as you think. How about if I give you my sales pitch for the query that never landed me a contract?

 

Spaulding the teddy bear wakes wedged in a trash bag, with his face in damp coffee grounds. He slashes out with a photo frame of his nine-year-old mom and him by their sandcastle. She snuggled him to sleep last night, so she didn't do this to him.

 

Other stuffies are sneaking around the South Philly streets too. Congress passed a stupid law banning all stuffies. He can't go home to Mom.

 

After dodging taxi wheels and a near-death experience as a feral dog's chew toy, Spaulding and his new friends join a few stuffies hiding in the woods at FDR Park. But Spaulding fears for the ones who could not escape their trash bags. If one dog could do that much damage, how could anyone survive a dump with a huge dog pack? He rallies the group to save stuffies and supplies from the trash to start their own community. If they stick together, they'll create their home-away-from-home. If they don't, wheels, dogs, and rats will shred them.

 

THE COMFORT BAN is a 47,000-word MG urban fantasy stand-alone with series potential. It will appeal to readers who love the oddly dystopian world of Watership Down and the naivety of Maniac Magee.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I’m MG/YA as well. I’ve only written one adult novel, but I plan on writing more.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello! I write heavy stories so I would not be a good match. That said if you are ever struggling with something, I have found the critique forum to be extremely helpful. And if you want this romance writer to stop by, just give me a holler and let me know. I'm in and out of the forums depending on how my schedule looks, but make a point to stop in when people ask. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, Manna said:

I’m MG/YA as well. I’ve only written one adult novel, but I plan on writing more.

Four appointments and one garden that needs attending in the next couple of weeks, (if only the rest of life didn't interfere in-between lol), and then a couple of weeks of normal life, (unless one doctor schedules many other appointments too, which she does seem to do.) If you post a Chapter 1 to your MG or YA and nudge me, I can check to see if I can help and if it's my cup of tea.

 

And, apologizes for the cup of tea part. I'm not good with critiquing if the story doesn't do it for me. I do hope people get that, since I'm fully aware most people don't find teddy-bear-books their cup of tea.

 

As for return of effort? Right now, I'm starting Book II, which seems to be a big slug to write, (like walking through waist-high mud), so there is nothing to return for at least a year, maybe longer, and you still don't have to if it isn't your cup of tea.
 

Sound fair?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

?

Thanks!

 

I would so volunteer to do an exchange, but.... ?

Edited by KR LaLonde

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.