Grey_Skies
Struggling writer hoping to make dreams come true
- Dec 27, 2020
- 1,521
- 1,404
I probably should have posted this earlier instead of procrastinating (as usual) and living in denial for a few weeks.
I think I need to take a step back. For several weeks I have not lifted a finger to do any writing, save for a miserable attempt two nights ago, which ended with me just hating myself even more. That said, I think I probably just need to take a nice long break from it all.
Figuring out life is hard. A lot has changed for me from New Year's Day to now, and a lot of it has been stressful and confusing. Some of it has been exhilarating. Most of all, I feel like I'm being brought to a greater understanding of needing God's wisdom and guidance, but I'm still not sure which way to go.
Lately I've actually found the thought of writing repulsive. I have some good story ideas, but zero desire to write them. I feel like my novel has become hopelessly muddled yet again. Frankly, I'm just sick and tired of trying to create a plot that actually makes sense, and then realizing it doesn't and having to struggle and grope in the dark again. I'm tired. I'm tired and annoyed and I've lost my desire. I've been trying to make this story happen for two years, and it hasn't worked yet. And that makes me rather loathe to go on this hopeless way.
In brief, that's why I haven't been online lately, and why I will be continue to make myself scarce. This is a platform for writers. And it's a wonderful platform. But right now, I am not a writer, and therefore not worthy to be here right now. I hope to return someday, if I ever manage to be more than a failure in this strange field called writing.
I think I need to take a step back. For several weeks I have not lifted a finger to do any writing, save for a miserable attempt two nights ago, which ended with me just hating myself even more. That said, I think I probably just need to take a nice long break from it all.
Figuring out life is hard. A lot has changed for me from New Year's Day to now, and a lot of it has been stressful and confusing. Some of it has been exhilarating. Most of all, I feel like I'm being brought to a greater understanding of needing God's wisdom and guidance, but I'm still not sure which way to go.
Lately I've actually found the thought of writing repulsive. I have some good story ideas, but zero desire to write them. I feel like my novel has become hopelessly muddled yet again. Frankly, I'm just sick and tired of trying to create a plot that actually makes sense, and then realizing it doesn't and having to struggle and grope in the dark again. I'm tired. I'm tired and annoyed and I've lost my desire. I've been trying to make this story happen for two years, and it hasn't worked yet. And that makes me rather loathe to go on this hopeless way.
In brief, that's why I haven't been online lately, and why I will be continue to make myself scarce. This is a platform for writers. And it's a wonderful platform. But right now, I am not a writer, and therefore not worthy to be here right now. I hope to return someday, if I ever manage to be more than a failure in this strange field called writing.