General Discussion Dear Friends:

Grey_Skies

Struggling writer hoping to make dreams come true
Dec 27, 2020
1,521
1,404
I probably should have posted this earlier instead of procrastinating (as usual) and living in denial for a few weeks.

I think I need to take a step back. For several weeks I have not lifted a finger to do any writing, save for a miserable attempt two nights ago, which ended with me just hating myself even more. That said, I think I probably just need to take a nice long break from it all.

Figuring out life is hard. A lot has changed for me from New Year's Day to now, and a lot of it has been stressful and confusing. Some of it has been exhilarating. Most of all, I feel like I'm being brought to a greater understanding of needing God's wisdom and guidance, but I'm still not sure which way to go.

Lately I've actually found the thought of writing repulsive. I have some good story ideas, but zero desire to write them. I feel like my novel has become hopelessly muddled yet again. Frankly, I'm just sick and tired of trying to create a plot that actually makes sense, and then realizing it doesn't and having to struggle and grope in the dark again. I'm tired. I'm tired and annoyed and I've lost my desire. I've been trying to make this story happen for two years, and it hasn't worked yet. And that makes me rather loathe to go on this hopeless way.

In brief, that's why I haven't been online lately, and why I will be continue to make myself scarce. This is a platform for writers. And it's a wonderful platform. But right now, I am not a writer, and therefore not worthy to be here right now. I hope to return someday, if I ever manage to be more than a failure in this strange field called writing.
 

lynnmosher

Moderator
Staff member
Feb 21, 2007
23,325
4,862
Grey...you are ALWAYS welcome here. Some members write little, some write more. It doesn't matter. If you need to jump in and ask for prayer, please do so whenever you feel like it. You're still a part of this group. And we care about you. Please don't beat yourself up for not feeling like writing. Sometimes, we all need to take a break from our writing. Just to put it in a drawer and get on with figuring out life. It happens. You do what you feel is necessary for your life. We'll pray for you. So please pop back in and let us know how you're doing. ❤️
 
Jan 25, 2023
17
17
Grey - I have works that have been around for decades at this point! I don't want to minimize your struggle (as nobody really knows what somebody else is doing through) - but I would encourage you to keep at it after your break. Sometimes the most satisfying accomplishments come after the most dreadful journeys. All the best.
 

Wes B

Mostly Harmless
Jul 28, 2019
1,527
1,893
Hey, GS... I'm sure a lot of us will be praying; I know I will...

I don't think anyone has set some minimum requirements for being on this site (a lot of us would be gone if they did...) so don't feel that you're somehow not a writer because you've taken a little break... and believe me... a few weeks is just a little break.

So it sounds like you're a little discouraged with your writing, and maybe with yourself. But life is about struggle, it's about change, and it's about growth. Don't expect to get it all straightened out so early on. If you did, you'd not only be "showing the rest of us up", but the rest of your life might be kinda' dull.

So appreciate the journey, 'cuz the joy of accomplishment includes looking back at how you struggled to get there. The struggle is a Good Thing, and we're all doing it. Just as a story is great when a character overcomes great obstacles, so our lives can become great stories as we overcome ours.

Take a break, catch your breath, and c'mon back as soon as you're ready. We'll still be here...
 

HK1

Oct 1, 2018
2,856
1,504
Grey ... You don't need to leave. Just because you're taking a break from writing doesn't mean you're not a writer anymore. Breaks are a good and healthy part of being a writer. Praying for you!
 
May 24, 2016
860
335
Grey, this site is an encouraging and helpful tool in writing. But most here will agree it's also a place to share struggles, proclaim our faith, ask for prayers, and communicate with others.

In my writing experience, when I'm disgusted and don't have the inspiration to write, I stop forcing myself. At this point, I re-direct my actions and exert my efforts to draw closer to God. I concentrate on Christ and doing God's will by increasing my prayers and meditating on His truth. I'm not sure what happens, but God releases me back into writing at some point.

Hang in there, Grey. God won't abandon you. My prayers are with you.
 

zx1ninja

They call me Z.
Mar 17, 2017
3,667
586
As others have said, you don't need to leave. If you need a break, take it. We all need one from time to time. Sometimes it's short,sometimes it's long. In the end it's what you need and I believe we'll all support you in that.

If you need to talk, we'll be here, of that I'm sure. Take care, and remember, you're not alone.
 
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Accord64

Write well, edit often.
Oct 8, 2012
2,659
1,042
But right now, I am not a writer, and therefore not worthy to be here right now. I hope to return someday, if I ever manage to be more than a failure in this strange field called writing.

Honestly, not sure if you're going to top me in the writing failure department. I might be the reigning champ around here. 😁

After publishing five novels from 2012-2015, I stalled out. My last novel was book one of a (planned) three part series, and book two has remained partially done on my hard drive for over seven years now! I have yet another novel that has been almost finished for years.

Long story, but I too had a change in my life that tossed writing on the back-burner. Not something I asked for, but it happened anyway. As the weeks and months went by, I watched my marketing successes and sales momentum evaporate. After a couple of years any hope that I could somehow revive any momentum had ebbed away. I watched my books languish at the bottom tiers of the retail world, and no amount of proverbial CPR could revive them. At this point, if I had a new book to publish, it would be like starting all over again.

I had some stretches where I could've been productive, but my heart wasn't in it. I stewed in many stages of frustration, anger, and resentment over what caused this writing stall. I was (am am kind of still) frustrated at God for forcing a shift in my priorities. It's hard not to dwell on the intense amount work I had put into writing and publishing, all to watch it seemingly waste away.

I share this not to make this about me, or to one-up you, but to let you know that you're not alone in feeling like a failure. I honestly don't know if or when things will turn around for me. It's simply out of my hands. I've come to learn that God has His plan and timing. It's been a tough lesson, and I still suffer through bouts of doubt and frustration. But I don't feel bad (or unworthy) about posting around here, and neither should you.
 
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Aug 10, 2013
8,900
2,932
For all (not just @Grey_Skies and @Accord64, because as is evidenced above, we all go through some tough times), I offer both a verse and a picture.

Matthew 5:4: Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

and

My project-2.jpg
a comforter. (I can't send a picture of the Holy Spirit.)

And, of course, there is always comfort food:

cookies.jpg
 
May 29, 2018
1,560
713
Grey Skies: Since right before the COVID stuff, I fell and had a broken foot and a hairline fracture of what was my good foot. Later in 2020, I had surgery to remove a huge abdominal tumor and my internal female parts. In early 2021, my doctor told me I needed to have a mammogram. Well, it turned out that I had a small spot of cancer. I underwent a lumpectomy and radiation. At the end of 2021, I noticed some swelling in my surgical arm. The swelling was a sign of lymphedema, the lymph nodes were not able to work properly. Lymphedema is a life-long, uncurable but treatable condition.

I heard from one of my physical therapists that the compression sleeves and other items were not covered by insurance. I joined the Lymphedema Treatment Act as an advocate to seek Congressional action to pass a bill to get Medicare to cover them. After 12 years of work on this, the bill got passed. The compression items are NOT cheap. The doctors would prefer that we have two new ones every six months. There are some people who cannot afford the costs.

Through all this time, I have only been able to keep up my blog and contribute to an online web site. There are some days, I do not feel like doing anything constructive. This is a bad habit that I have fallen into. I do not share this information to seek anyone's pity but to let people know that we do have those times when we have to allow our writing to take a back seat to life.
 
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Zee

Mar 1, 2019
3,817
1,438
Whether you’re actively writing or not, whether you consider yourself a writer or not (whatever that means)God put a passion for storytelling in you, and that’s a special gift—not something you’re worthy of, in one sense, any more than any of us are worthy of any of God’s gifts—but perfect for your life and role in the world.

Be patient.
 
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