- Feb 12, 2021
How does one gracefully change church families? My wife and I are feeling a call to move on from our present church to another, but how is that done without fostering ill feelings?
I completely understand that. The first church I mentioned above (the one I was at for six years) is a very tiny little country Baptist church with, as you said, twenty on a good day.We have 20 attending on a good day. My wife and I, along with one other even older couple and an even older lady, are the only ones who come to Sunday school on time, offering a very poor example for that new family who never comes. I'm 65 and the older guy of the other couple who shows up on tim are the ones who seem to do most of the maintenance on the church. My wife and I seem to be drawn to working with youth, of which we have only one in that church. We feel as though we were called to help pay off the building loan, which was accomplished 2 months ago. One of my wife's skeptic friends said she'd probably go with my wife, if she went to 'this other church' --which is the one we would've picked to go to anyway. I guess I just want to do this without frustrating folks. We take care of the worship music slides, the bulletins, much of the supplies ordering, tax registration forms, Sunday school literature ordering and more. Our leaving will be felt, as there are so few regular attenders.
We'll be doing that. I'm anticipating some weird awkwardness between this Sunday, when we plan to mention it, and our Christmas departure. There might be some training involved on some of the tasks we do. We don't just want to drop and run.I understand that this is easy for me to say, because I'm not in your shoes. Nevertheless...
IF you truly feel called, then the best you can do is to tell the truth, as diplomatically as you can. Given your unique situation, only you can determine how to do this. If you are truly called then any ill feelings that result are on the others, not yourself. Without knowing the thousand details of your situation, we can give little advice on exactly how you'll do this, but you'll of course want to minimize the damage from your change. If you know it's God's will, you should be able to do so with a clear conscience.
Seems reasonable to fervently love and pray for those you've left behind, no matter how they treat you. You are responsible for your actions; other people are responsible for theirs...
We've been feeling a call for quite some time now. As to getting fed, probably not as we should be. We need to plug into active ministries. We've tried to start several at our present church, but it's not attracting people. The community is tiny, and the church is even tinier. The church I wrote into my story is based on this church, but I probably made changes there, I'd like to have seen at my church. Just wrote the first draft of our departure letter today.At one time, several years ago, I was in a quandary about leaving the church I had been in several years. Our son was born during the time I was a part of that church. My prayer partner at the time said something I found profound: "The important thing is THAT we go to church, not WHERE we go to church. There always has been a warm spot in my heart for those people, (That church had its last service on Easter Sunday, partly due to COVID.)
Now, let me ask you these questions. Are you getting fed at your present church? Holy Spirit directing you and your wife to make a change? Do you see the Bible lived out among your fellow worshipers?
I ask these of you because my best friend recently left our church. There are a lot of reasons for her to do this. Not getting fed what she needs was a big part of it. And people not following the Golden Rule: " Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." We still are best friends and always will be.
I can tell you how to change a church family.
That sounds odd . . . and kinda sad? Like, isn't positive physical contact so important for people to grow up with?