This is my personal testimony that I thought I would share, I had been carrying a lot of old wounds, from my childhood into my adulthood. The Lord took me through a process of healing. I had to confront every hurt, and every disappointment, one at a time.
There were times when it felt like my heart was going to explode, because the pain was unbearable. I have to confess that I became angry with the Lord, because I wanted Him to miraculously heal, what I later discovered was a broken heart. But the Lord did not choose to do it my way.
You see, sometimes He chooses to take us through the process of healing. As I stated before, I had to face each one, confessing forgiveness every step of the way. I had to choose to forgive, like all of us must, if we are going to receive true liberty from the pain of our past. I had truly made a decision that I did not want to hold any grudges against my offenders, and it was at this time that I had listened to two messages about forgiveness, that really helped me, and gave me more of a determination to receive the healing that I was so desperately in need of.
There were times that I would share what I was going through, and I was told you have to "let it go", listen, I had no idea, that letting go meant I had to forgive. Whenever I heard those words, I would think to myself, how when the pain was so great, and it was internal. I believed that only the Lord could heal my heart.
So I didn't understand why I wasn't being healed, and because I didn't understand, I became more and more frustrated. In my mind I thought that the Lord wasn't answering my prayers, and as a result, I did what only I knew to do, and that was to continue to suppress the pain.
As I stated earlier, I became angry with God, because I had confessed, did everything I knew to do, but still no healing. I wanted to give up many times, because I didn't understand why I wasn't being healed.
I remember praying and asking the Lord to get to the root of the problem, and that's when I truly believe my journey towards being healed from a broken heart began.
I was offended by the woman I called my spiritual mom, which added another wound on top of the wounds that were already there. But today, I understand why I had to go through that experience. Remember, what I just shared about asking the Lord to get to the root of the problem.
As a result of that experience, I have discovered that one of the issues of my heart was with my natural mother, who was very critical. So when I experienced the same thing with my spiritual mom, it became clear to me, that I was suffering from being criticized and judged by my natural mother and other family members.
I remember sharing this with a very dear friend and sister in Christ, and I began to weep, man we never know what we have suppressed, and how much anger and resentment we can be carrying. When I began to recognize what the enemy had been using against me, I took on a new mindset, that I was not going to allow him to continue to use others to criticize and judge me. I knew that I had been empowered to shut the enemy down and from that point, the journey continued.
I had participated in a class entitled, "The Prophetic Me", and one of the words that was given was, "broken heart ", and that's when the Lord revealed that I was also suffering from a broken heart. I am so grateful, oh my God, not to feel that heaviness in my heart anymore, I'm trying to tell you!
We never know how the Lord is going to answer our prayers, when, where and what He may use to do it, but we must trust Him, because it will happen at the appointed time.
I pray that this little portion of my testimony that I have shared will be a blessing and an encouragement to all who read it. May the Lord continue to bless you, in Jesus name