Nights like these are very difficult for me to endure. My mind races as memories come pouring out and lies come floating to the surface. Abroad comes what once was hidden and broken again becomes my heart. Realizing these truths that stayed hidden deep in the depths of my mind to protect me until I was strong enough to bear it. It cripples my emotions and sets my body in agony as one pours after another. Lights turn on and reality strikes as the present becomes riddled with new bouts of information. Changing my perception, my reality and my understanding of what life once was and now is. I ponder at my new found freedom and understanding that is imprisoned in my mind. As I am pulled into the past I cannot leave so vastly the present. My heart lies strongly here as does my loyalty. I am a wife a mother and a friend and I love those I call family. My heart does not know friend or foe therefore I am overwhelmed by false instruments of this world. For now my heart lies still. Awaiting the answers to come from the only Source. Until the end I will stand firm in truth, word and spirit.

My soul doth wait on You My heart quickens to Your word My mind gulps Your endless rivers of knowledge My body trembles at my infinite faults in the face of Your glory May I call upon Your name May I beg Your Mercy What right can I claim to You I give You my heart willingly I possess nothing else to offer I am but a weakend vessel, spilling out from pierced sides Even in the darkness, I can hear the echoing of Your name In death, You breathe In me