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Barnyardmare

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About Barnyardmare

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  • Birthday 01/01/1966

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  1. Thanks! Who knows where I will end up? I may show up in Canada, one of these days!
  2. Actually, cowboy poetry and storytelling is a BIG DEAL. There are contests that judge both the work and the presentation. Yeah, you have to have it memorized and present the poetry. You do the reciting and then people attending buy your books. You don't make millions but it is a blast. this is the link to last year's poetry rodeo. I am at 26:07 minutes
  3. I have my book complete. It is edited. I still need to get the software to convert into book form so that I can do POD or send to a publisher. I have a friend wanting me to use a small publisher but my material needs to stay in my control as I do cowboy poetry and storytelling. If I go with a publisher, I may lose my rights to the work and I cannot do that and be a cowboy poet as I won't be able to use my own material at events that I perform. 1. Has anyone ever published with a publisher and retained the rights to the work so you could use in performance? 2. Do you think I'd be better of doing Print-on-demand with my work?
  4. Now that is the kind of humor I love! Teddy bear peeling spuds! Are you doing daily adventures with the bear?
  5. I am tired of this corona virus cow poo! My Facebook feeds are full of doomsday poo and I begin to wonder if the Christian friends I have are actually Christian with all the doomsday posts they make or share. Am I the only one who looks at this as way overblown? Of course it can be deadly to some, that is the way with viruses. Influenza has killed over 20,000 since October 2019 and no one is even noticing the death loss from that virus. I've been exposed to the cattle strain of corona on many occasions. I think I will do okay if I am exposed to this novel virus. When the gentleman who studied small pox found women who were immune to small pox because they had had cow pox, it was a break through. At this time, I want to believe that the cow strain may help me be immune or lessen the punch, if I were to get it. I don't want to get it, because my 81 yr old mother would probably get it. Still, neither one of us fear this virus because we trust God in all things. (I am distressed that so many Christians are freaking out). I think the best medicine for this situation. We need to laugh, we need to get outside and enjoy fresh air and sunshine (if we can get some). I sit out on the bench by our front pond and watch the border collies chase the ducks into the pond and then they try to herd the ducks in the water. I also watch our Giant bullfrog that likes to jump out of the water and hit Tucker (my 1 yr old border collie) in the backside. WHAT A JOKE! That poor dog goes straight up and starts looking for that frog. This happened last year when Tuck was just a few months old. Scared the poor guy. Now it is an outrright "I'm gonna get you" game. Tuck hunts for that frog every day and that frog knows it. I've seen that green thing pop up out of the water right after Tuck walks by him. I wish I had a good video camera with a good telescope on it. I have to laugh at many things as I observe things outside. Fly, my 2 yr old border collie is a nut. Her exuberance exceeds her brain function at times. She can jump into my arms from several feet away but hasn't mastered this trick as well as her aunt Jinx. Yesterday I called her to help me with the goats and she runs and jumps over the temporary fencing and hooks her front foot, sending her spinning out of control and landing on her side. She gets up and looks around for the other dogs and they aren't there (she doesn't face the embarrassment well with the other dogs around). Once she knows the other dogs missed her goof, she helps me get the goats rounded up. I laugh at the new calves across the road as they learn to run and buck. I wish I didn't have to deal with the internet, television or silly phones as the joy I get from laughter outside far outweighs the 'danger' of a virus. God help us all!
  6. They can't make real country music anymore. The computer was using the new crap country to make this song. Proof real country music is dead.
  7. Centered riding is centered riding whether it is a horse, camel, bull, elephant.
  8. I am not sure when I was in here the last time. I know it has been a few years, at least. Life got away from me and in 2016, after a head injury, back injury and West Nile virus, I started a goat rental business with the goats that I co-own with my landlord. I do weed and brush control around the state of Kansas. I am not making a million but enough to live without fear of starving, as I did when I cowboyed full-time. I have a herd of 75 goats and three border collies that help me. I set up temporary electro netting fences on the job and let the goats have their way with the weeds, brush and invasive trees. I've been doing this every summer and then in the winter I kid out goats (birth out baby goats. Financially I get by enough to survive and I am happy. November of 2018, my life turned upside down when my parents were in a car wreck, where a semi turned in front of them. My dad that had just turned 80, ten days before died about 30 minutes after the accident due to his pacemaker defibulator blew his heart apart when the airbag and seat belt set it off. Mom was able to walk from the wrecked Ford Escape to the ambulance with 15 broken ribs, sternum, left collarbone, two broken fingers in her hand, two fractured vertebrae and two brain bleeds. She was in ICU for 7 days, three days in trauma recovery and 5 days in rehab. When I walked into ICU that first day, she told me I was moving in with her and taking care of her and would have to bring my animals with me. So, she is recovered enough that I can still do my weed work but she doesn't like that I am gone for 12-14 days on some jobs but I'm trying to get some jobs closer to home so I can come home during day and then camp out with the goats at night for protection. I am trying to find more people to help me out with my business (subcontractors) and have one man from Iowa that is going to run NE Kansas area for me. About six months ago, I started writing prose again. My poetry comes to me out of the blue, so it is sporadic. Still, I am starting to make my way into the cowboy poetry world. I have started doing competitions and last summer I entered the National Cowboy Poetry Rodeo and goat third place in the Rising Star division humorous group. That is kind of like entering the Kentucky Derby without racing before and getting third place when the odds are 100-1. I then did a Contest in Oklahoma where they had a Cowgirl Poet division and I took home a buckle for that one (Champion). I just finished my Cowboy stories and poetry book that I've been working on for 15 years. it is ready to put into book format. I am working on a book that focuses on basic Animal Husbandry for those who want to raise meat goats and have never had any previous livestock experience. I am also going to do a DVD series to go with the book, so the reader can see how to give shots, trim feet and evaluate breeding stock. This is in its fifth year of designing. So, that is the catch-up on me. I had to move five hours from my farm in the north central Kansas, to south central Kansas , to live with Mom but she got a settlement fro the wreck and we have a new mobile home for her and cleaning up the yard and trying to get everything moved into the house before I start my 2020 grazing season.
  9. For some more humor, I submit the following that is also real life stuff. I raise meat goats and when we kid out (birth out baby goats) I usually go into zombie mode as I am up every two hours or I am lucky to get a real sleep for a month. A doe is a female goat also known as a nanny. Meat goat people prefer the word 'doe' for their females, so have a smile at my expense. The Code of the Doe I think she ready to kid, or…maybe not! She sure is moaning and groaning a lot. That darn doe is at it again, making me think she ready to have kids. She was due last week, or in two weeks for sure! How much longer do I have to endure? She’s making me sleepless; she’s ready to kid. When will she release those hostages within? I can tell you for sure, she’ll kid when she’s ready, My nerves are shot, my hands are unsteady. It isn’t just her it is the whole darn herd, Waiting for them to kid out, I’ll go crazy I’m assured! Every year since forever, I put up with these does, And every year, this is the way that it all goes. They wait until there is a storm on the horizon, To keep me hopping and try to be surprising. It’s the code of the doe that I’m talking about, Her rules are simple, to keep her hostages, instead of letting them out, And making you wonder and making you doubt, Did she really get bred or is she just bloated out? You get so mad at that darn goat, for being a brat. She keeps hiding from you and you can’t see where she is at. The code of the doe, is simple you see, To not be easy, but to be con-trary. Holding those babies hostage until the last minute, No way else that I can spin it. She crosses her legs and blows up like a balloon Checking pregnant goats in my pjs, I think she’ll kid soon! Up every two hours to check the shed and the pens, Then back to my bed, to take a nap again. Oh, why oh, why do they have to be this way? Ooh Lord help me, I’m feeling weak in the legs! They keep me hopping and fretting, until all energy I’ve spent, Then they pop out some kids when to bed I’ve went!
  10. I think everyone is getting way too freaked out about the Corona virus and it is time for some humor in the form of cowboy poetry and I would like to share a couple humorous poems for your enjoyment and giggles. I will post My first is a play on the famous Night Before Christmas. This is a true story as well, my mom and I were in a camper at Christmas time because we were waiting on her new mobile home to be placed on the same spot as her old mobile home. We had FIVE dogs in this 27 foot long camper with us and I am not talking lap dogs. I have four border collies and my mom had a Smooth coat Collie. We were all a little too close, thus we had some issues with Mom's very flatulent collie Buddy. Humor is good for the soul. Smelly Christmas Eve T’was the night before Christmas we were stuck in a camper, The dogs in the floor wanted to scamper. One rolled around and made a strange sound And then those that were sleeping were scattering around. What was that noise? What was that sound? Oh my goodness! That horrible smell! Which one who did it? Was it Tucker or Fly? I don't care who, oh my watering eyes! To the door we all ran and together we fought, for fresh air and some room, we all sought. But the wind outside did blow in the door, And the stench in the camper didn't smell any more. The moral of the story is sad but true, Do NOT feed beans to dogs in a camper Or your face will turn blue!
  11. I have always loved that Hee Haw clip!
  12. I just went to that thread and enlightened everyone on what I thought centered and focused means in cowboy terms. Also, I am officially a cowboy poet on the national level, having placed third in the Rising Star division of the National Cowboy Poetry Rodeo in 2019! I hope I can post some of my cowboy poetry, most of it is fun stuff and a couple serious poems as well.
  13. Okay, bear with this crusty cowboy in the girl kind of way! Centered and focused is usually terms used for the way a person rides or sits a horse. Centered riding means a person is sitting in the saddle so that their body is centered perfectly, and is not leaving the horse unbalanced. This is the ideal seat for a rider, centered. Focused would mean the rider is paying attention to their horse. I think the best western that depicts more perfectly the way cowboys lives is the mini series, Lonesome Dove. This is the all-time perfect western in my opinion. The way they talk, move and logic of the cowboy is very excellently portrayed. I even knew a gentleman cowboy who was the living Augustus MacRae. After said friend, mentor and boss passed away, I could no longer watch Lonesome Dove. By the way, I am now officially a Cowboy Poet and got third place for my humorous poem at the National Cowboy Poetry Rodeo at Abilene Kansas in 2019!
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