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tellingHISstory94

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tellingHISstory94 last won the day on June 23 2011

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About tellingHISstory94

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  • Birthday 05/19/1994

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  1. Hiiiii, I don't know if anyone here remembers me, since I've been inactive for so long, but I joined back in... 2010, I think? For a while I was very active as I wrote and edited my first novel (which I ended up self-publishing), but life happened and I withdrew. Sorry about that. I hope you all have found success and fulfillment in your careers and personal lives during that time! Anyway. So apart from giving y'all the heads-up that I'm back, I have a prayer request (as the topic's title implies). At this point in my career, I've self-published three novels, am doing post-publication edits on two of them (because when I published them, I was 18 and 19, respectively, and they need help), and just did a complete rewrite of the third (which was a hot mess after I couldn't manage to get enough beta readers and made the mistake of editing and publishing it anyway). I'm now editing that rewrite, and though there's a lot more to be done on it, I know it's better than the original, so that's something. But I'm fighting a major case of, "Why am I doing this? Who cares?" Some factors that are probably playing into this issue: - I have a chronic illness (Lyme disease -- I contracted it at probably 16 and was diagnosed at 18, and I'm 25 now, so it's been a thing for a while). It messes with me in basically every way possible, and makes it hard to get a lot done at a time, between sickness, fatigue, focus issues, and mental health struggles. - Like I said, this is a rewrite of a book that I published once (after working on it for three years), which basically means this version exists because the original failed. So my panicky brain keeps trying to convince me that because the first failed, then no matter what I do, this one will, too. (I also took a couple of risks story-wise which my betas really liked, but one never knows how the readers will respond upon publication.) - Good old Impostor Syndrome -- it gets to the best of us. I'm trying to fight this a bit with the aforementioned post-pub edits of the previous two books, because I figure my horror over how unpolished they are will lessen if I can polish them up now and therefore save potential readers from their current terribleness. - Slightly heavier thing: I lost my mom at the beginning of October (to stage four breast cancer metastasized to the brain). We were very close and she was always my biggest supporter (both creatively and with my chronic illness), so on top of all the usual fallout one might expect from losing a parent in one's twenties (side note, I'm still living with my dad, and have taken over some of the things Mom used to do, like shopping, cooking, and dishes [things I was already doing to some extent because her cancer restricted her ability to function fully]), she's also not around to give me pep talks, listen to me vent about writing/editing problems, or kick me in the pants if I've stated a goal and am dragging my feet on it. Sorry this is coming so out of the blue, but basically, I've had great experiences in the past with the members of this wonderful community, and I'm trying to get better about reaching out and connecting with a support network rather than hermit-ing and going it alone, so here I am. ON THAT NOTE. If any of you have prayer requests of your own, please feel free to share them here. There's not much I can do ministry-wise with my health issues, but prayer is one of the few things I can manage, so I'd love to know how I could pray for all of you. Thanks for reading, and have a blessed day.
  2. God bless you and Happy Christmas Keith

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