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       I have “skin in the game” on this issue as I know what it is like to regret an abortion. But then I have found forgiveness from Christ for something I did many years ago.

        Forty-two  years ago, my wife and I elected for that procedure as the  Roe decision was just handed down 5 years earlier. The regional hospital close to where we were living, even advertised for the services.   It was advertised as safe and gone were the back-alley abortion clinics, which were part of the reason for legalizing abortions.

      I do believe I convinced my wife to go this route as I  rationalized with 2 children already, we could not afford a third. Over the years, I have realized that our false rationale for our abortion matched up with so many who quietly chose that route as a one-time abortion is far less expensive that raising a child to adulthood.  

      Something dramatically changed after that day. We both avoided the issue and certainly could not talk about it. As I look back, I believe I proved that I was not protecting my family as a man. I believe my wife then, no longer respected me in the same way.

      She was to die in a car accident 9 years later in a tumultuous marriage where we managed to stay together----at least for the 2 years before she died. Then, she was starting to find Faith in Christ, while I was born into a Religious cult that I had yet to reject.

      I have watched the pro-life debate as it started about the time we had that abortion. One thing that always struck me is how that focus [by mostly men]  is really  only on the mother who elects for an abortion---as if the father who did his part in producing the unwanted child does not matter. In our case we were married, but it should not matter if a couple were married or not. There simply is always a Mother and a Father.  Life begins at conception and the arguments as  to when a child becomes a living being----- are foolishness on the pro-choice side.

      The pro-life side is really taking the Pharisitical route in part, as you will note that the woman caught in adultery was condemned to die by the Pharisees in John, Chapter 8 in their incomplete rendering of the Law of Moses. Absent was the man who should  have been condemned also. An  unwanted child is simply the product of adultery in many cases.  Verse 7 lists Christ’s Word as “HE that is without sin among you, let HIM throw a stone at HER first”

      I found Christ immediately after the death of my son a few years after my wife died. Maybe I was more hard-headed than some, but it took two tragedies in my life to get the message.  And yes, I found forgiveness for that abortion so many years ago.  

       Current statistics still show that it is not simply a black and white issue as it never was.  Four  out of 10 women {and men] choose that route quietly in our Church-going population.  Not surprisingly, further statistics show that they cannot talk about it with anyone in their Church. We have so stigmatized abortion that that is the result.

      It should be a goal of every Christian to lessen abortions in general, but that is not going to happen by a Supreme Court decision. We have to get the fathers of all these unwanted children  to take their responsibilities and not just talk about “choosing life”, but  living it as well.  

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Thank you for sharing your story, and I am happy that you found forgiveness. I agree men need to stand up and take responsibility. Both men and women need to do both, choose life and live it to a higher moral standard. Taking responsibility for actions. 

Sounds like you are doing well now, and I can tell you as someone that lost is first wife too that I don't understand  but God is good.

You want through such great loss and I cant even imagine. God has a plan for you! 


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