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Her Numbers, My Quest

Ahila Prabu



My daughter and I have very brief but many of these intimate talks, she sits on my lap and probe me with questions, some I eloquently answer, others I take a deep breath and come up with the closed to acceptable answer. We both enjoy these moments so much.


During one of those intimate talks, my kindergartner asked me, “Mom, what is the biggest number ever?”


I responded without much thought, “Quadrillion, may be Googleplex, Baby, there is something called “infinite” that is anything a human mind can’t calculate, say like the count of the stars!”


And to my amazement she responded, “But, Mom I can count up to 100, I think I could count up to infinteee.” She said that with the sweet twinkle in her eyes and so much confidence, and without much break she went on with her question session.


In that moment I am reminded of my own questions about my Creator, “How big is He? How Powerful? How much loving?.......”


This quest that I am on, beautiful, exciting, and the endless quest of knowing (yada) Him. How many times I count to 100 in this search and as a kindergartner somehow decides I could count to infinite. When in His grace He revels Himself and I decide to think that is all He is! My transcended, incomprehensible God of the universe. In that moment I felt so small and He seemed big, infinite, eternal and incomprehensible.


Yet, there is a truth, she knows her numbers, she got the concept, millions and millions of times theses same numbers will ultimately lead her to count to Googleplex. Just like me, once, I didn’t know the basic numbers, I was oblivious to God and His nature, but in His beautiful grace He revealed His attributes to us mere humans through His infallible Word. No, I don’t think I will grasp everything about Him now and here, but I will keep on computing, count more and more, from 100 to 1000 to 10,000, and millions, oh, what a beautiful journey it is for me, as it will be for my little girl to learn and learn little more about her numbers, addition, multiplication, arithmetic, geometric….. so, I will learn my Savior’s love, His might, His Justice, His endless revelation that will water my mind until I see Him face to face.


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