Country Girl
09-11-2006, 07:00 AM
Does the thought of listening to someone irritate you? Since many people
struggle with this crucial characteristic, it may supply you the excuse to give
up, but do not let that stop you from undertaking the challenge. Becoming a
superior listener is quite feasible and with a few practical guidelines, you can
achieve this endeavor.
Initially, when listening to people, strive to understand them. Exhaustive,
mind-numbing discussions with those who ambiguously communicate is time
consuming, however, you must show compassion by asking them open-ended
questions to unveil your friend’s meaning, and strive to understand them.
While you listen to someone, envision yourself experiencing the same
sequence of events that he endured and pose the question, “How would I
have responded?” In Proverbs 18:2 God explains and informs us, "A fool finds
no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinion." Rapidly
demanding the spotlight these days, we, who have become selfish and
inattentive, scream “Look at me! Listen to me!” in a conversation.This selfish
perspective contradicts the Lord’s words in Proverbs 29:20: “You see a man
who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than him." Let go of your
boisterious attempts to megaphone your feelings, and instead willingly offer
your full attention to others. Patience in listening in long-winded thoughts is
key skills in becoming an excellent listener. Practice them today.
In addition, the time spent listening should overide the time spent yakking.
When Robert Andrews, author of “The Family—God’s Weapon for Victory,”
and his buddy were in college, the two invented a game
called, “Conversational Basketball.” To begin, you ask your “teammate” (a
friend, or family member) a question. For example, where did you grow up?”
Or, What is your favorite sports team?” The ball is in play! Snatching it, the
person to whom you are speaking spins the ball on his finger, dribbles it on
the shiny court, bounces it between his legs, races down the court, leaps
high in the air, and shoots it through the net with a powerful whoosh. Slam
Dunk! The climax has been reached in the conversation.You have allowed you
teammate to share intimate goals and feelings, without his sensing your i
intimidating body hovering around. Basicly, you gave him space and time to
talk! Backing off is your job now. Consequently, he can experiment with the
ball until he is finished grasping and running with it. Having made his points in
the conversation, he is now tired, yet satisfied. He has spilled his heart into
you, someone who has given him a chance to play with his words, bounce
around his purpose, until he swooshes it into the net, where he finally makes
his point clear. “Conversational Basketball” is an lightening and healthy way
to train your ears to listen rather than dominate in a conversation.
Jillian Rose Hazel, my dearest and closest friend, is a prime example of a
person who earnestly listens. She seals her lips, not because she cannot
speak, but because she has traded interrupting for self-control in the area of
speech. Quietly sitting beside me with her attentive heart and tuned-in soul,
she offers me her full attention, while I amble up my steep mountain of
thoughts, goals and frustrations. Her penetrating eyes, which gaze into mine,
show her respectful spirit and her occasional nods prove she is still engaged
in the conversation. When she tilts her head, scrunches her face, sighs,
ponders, and muses; I know she he is interacting with me, not by words, but
by the powerful effect of body language. Receiving my opinion without
condemnation, she blankets me with security, and I can be transparent with
her, because I am confident she will not judge harshly. After I have flooded
and overwhelmed her with thoughts, she confirms she has been listening by
erupting with spiritual and practical advice for me. Jillian is a beautiful picture
of one who listens and understands people, and emulating her is not
impossible.
Practice. Progress. Perfection! The quality of listening is imperative, and
the earlier you practice, the sooner your skills will develop and improve.
Remember, the goal is reachable. Just listen.
struggle with this crucial characteristic, it may supply you the excuse to give
up, but do not let that stop you from undertaking the challenge. Becoming a
superior listener is quite feasible and with a few practical guidelines, you can
achieve this endeavor.
Initially, when listening to people, strive to understand them. Exhaustive,
mind-numbing discussions with those who ambiguously communicate is time
consuming, however, you must show compassion by asking them open-ended
questions to unveil your friend’s meaning, and strive to understand them.
While you listen to someone, envision yourself experiencing the same
sequence of events that he endured and pose the question, “How would I
have responded?” In Proverbs 18:2 God explains and informs us, "A fool finds
no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinion." Rapidly
demanding the spotlight these days, we, who have become selfish and
inattentive, scream “Look at me! Listen to me!” in a conversation.This selfish
perspective contradicts the Lord’s words in Proverbs 29:20: “You see a man
who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than him." Let go of your
boisterious attempts to megaphone your feelings, and instead willingly offer
your full attention to others. Patience in listening in long-winded thoughts is
key skills in becoming an excellent listener. Practice them today.
In addition, the time spent listening should overide the time spent yakking.
When Robert Andrews, author of “The Family—God’s Weapon for Victory,”
and his buddy were in college, the two invented a game
called, “Conversational Basketball.” To begin, you ask your “teammate” (a
friend, or family member) a question. For example, where did you grow up?”
Or, What is your favorite sports team?” The ball is in play! Snatching it, the
person to whom you are speaking spins the ball on his finger, dribbles it on
the shiny court, bounces it between his legs, races down the court, leaps
high in the air, and shoots it through the net with a powerful whoosh. Slam
Dunk! The climax has been reached in the conversation.You have allowed you
teammate to share intimate goals and feelings, without his sensing your i
intimidating body hovering around. Basicly, you gave him space and time to
talk! Backing off is your job now. Consequently, he can experiment with the
ball until he is finished grasping and running with it. Having made his points in
the conversation, he is now tired, yet satisfied. He has spilled his heart into
you, someone who has given him a chance to play with his words, bounce
around his purpose, until he swooshes it into the net, where he finally makes
his point clear. “Conversational Basketball” is an lightening and healthy way
to train your ears to listen rather than dominate in a conversation.
Jillian Rose Hazel, my dearest and closest friend, is a prime example of a
person who earnestly listens. She seals her lips, not because she cannot
speak, but because she has traded interrupting for self-control in the area of
speech. Quietly sitting beside me with her attentive heart and tuned-in soul,
she offers me her full attention, while I amble up my steep mountain of
thoughts, goals and frustrations. Her penetrating eyes, which gaze into mine,
show her respectful spirit and her occasional nods prove she is still engaged
in the conversation. When she tilts her head, scrunches her face, sighs,
ponders, and muses; I know she he is interacting with me, not by words, but
by the powerful effect of body language. Receiving my opinion without
condemnation, she blankets me with security, and I can be transparent with
her, because I am confident she will not judge harshly. After I have flooded
and overwhelmed her with thoughts, she confirms she has been listening by
erupting with spiritual and practical advice for me. Jillian is a beautiful picture
of one who listens and understands people, and emulating her is not
impossible.
Practice. Progress. Perfection! The quality of listening is imperative, and
the earlier you practice, the sooner your skills will develop and improve.
Remember, the goal is reachable. Just listen.