Alianating everyone.

[AngelAzariah]

_____Ever feel as if you have been alianating everyone you come close to? Yesterday was wonderful, but I also had some self-reflecting happen.
Bad things:
--I'm one step shy of becoming a drunk.
--After a year of living up here I still have no friends, given that I spend 80% of my time stuck in the middle of nowhere.
--There's no way I can get a house on my own.
--I wake up every morning hacking.
--My nightmares are settling back into my life, I thought it had passed after 23 years, but I was wrong.
--I bearly ever get to see my wife, and when I do it's often to argue.
--I've writen many posts and then deleted them, they were all pretty harsh and I didn't want anyone to suffer them.
--I'm angry with a lot of people and I have reasions, that's not normal for me.
--Everyone I know seems to be suffering something right now.
--I wish I could hear some good news for once.
--Oh and my lousy good for nothing birthday is comeing up and my wife will be working on that day. It just figures and I'm really ticked off about it.
--I'm in debt back and forth.
Good Things:
--I'm about three or four chapters shy of editing my first book.
--I've luarned to tolerate daly insults a lot better (I need to, to be published).
--My wife and I spent a wonderful day together yesterday.
--My little girls hug me a lot, I don't know if it's love or they just need comferting.
--My dad's deturmand to get me in print.
_____As you can see, there is a lot more bad than good. Those fue good things are the only reasion I haven't went and played around in a train yard a bit. Anyhoot, I'm just thankful God's let me see the good in my life right now. He's deffinitly my stronghold and I'm in a siege right now.

[Merry]

I'll be praying for you, buddy.

[AngelAzariah]

_____You probably already were. ;) Today looks like it should be a good day too. I think I just need to adjest my additude about things.

[DrRita]

Angel,
I'm proud of you for listing the good things and taking the time to reflect on the good that God has done in your life. Phil 4:8: "FINALLY BRETHREN WHATEVER THINGS ARE TRUE, WHATEVER THINGS ARE NOBLE, WHATEVER THINGS ARE JUST, WHATEVER THINGS ARE PURE, WHATEVER THINGS ARE LOVELY, WHATER THINGS ARE OF GOOD REPORT, IF THERE IS ANY VIRTUE AND IF THERE IS ANYTHING PRAISEWORTHY--MEDITATE ON THESE THINGS." That is what we are to do when the bad things crowd in. It is challenging but it's one of the best ways to resist the devil and his influence. James 4:7 THEREFORE SUBMIT TO GOD. RESIST THE DEVIL AND HE WILL FLEE FROM YOU." Angel, God is causing you to walk in triumph. Don't let the devil tell you otherwise. And when those bad things crowd your life, keep remembering the good. Satan hates that. I'm praying for you.

[Hisart]

Okay furball you asked for it! ;)

AngelAzariah _____Ever feel as if you have been alianating everyone you come close to? Oh ya! I'm a born again biker, I tick off the churched cause I remind them there is a world out there and the lost I tick off cause I remind them that there is a God and I know Him! Yesterday was wonderful, but I also had some self-reflecting happen.
Bad things:
--I'm one step shy of becoming a drunk.But you aren't!
--After a year of living up here I still have no friends, given that I spend 80% of my time stuck in the middle of nowhere. And what am I BUD? Or don't any of us count?
--There's no way I can get a house on my own. I thought the same thing and God got me a house that appraised for 80k and I got it for 52k.
--I wake up every morning hacking. Stop smoking fence posts and that will quit, are you coughing up blood? Then you probably just snore, lay on your side.
--My nightmares are settling back into my life, I thought it had passed after 23 years, but I was wrong. I'm 43 and I still don't have 'normal' dreams, but God promised you sweet sleep, remind Him when you crash tonight.
--I bearly ever get to see my wife, and when I do it's often to argue. Don't start. When she walks in the door say I love you... no, you say, 'Angel loves his woman!' and fix her supper. Hey hot dogs and oven fries are great when you don't have to cook them!
--I've writen many posts and then deleted them, they were all pretty harsh and I didn't want anyone to suffer them. Yep, me too.
--I'm angry with a lot of people and I have reasions, that's not normal for me. So people around you are having bad days too, who's not. Forgive and forget.
--Everyone I know seems to be suffering something right now. Said that.
--I wish I could hear some good news for once. God loves you and so do all of us here!
--Oh and my lousy good for nothing birthday is comeing up and my wife will be working on that day. It just figures and I'm really ticked off about it. Alone on your BD? I was in basic training the first time that happened, couldn't even call home and nobody cared there.
--I'm in debt back and forth. You actually manage to get out of debt? Even for a moment? Wow!
Good Things:
--I'm about three or four chapters shy of editing my first book. I'm still on chapter one.
--I've luarned to tolerate daly insults a lot better (I need to, to be published). !thumbsup!
--My wife and I spent a wonderful day together yesterday. :D !thumbsup!
--My little girls hug me a lot, I don't know if it's love or they just need comferting. They Love you! Face it you're loveable!
--My dad's deturmand to get me in print. Mine thinks I'm crazy!_____As you can see, there is a lot more bad than good. Those fue good things are the only reasion I haven't went and played around in a train yard a bit. What tossing trains releives stress? Mr. Incredible does that....? Hey! I thought you looked familiar! Anyhoot, I'm just thankful God's let me see the good in my life right now. :D He's deffinitly my stronghold and I'm in a siege right now !thumbsup!
God Bless!
Hisart :cool:

[kilohertz]

Hey there!

Um... I'm in the same boat a lot of the time. My husband and I counted up our net worth- and we have two precious little ones- and including student loans, we are worth negative $78,000. Don't have a chance of buying a home- I stay with our two little ones, and my husband works his heiney off. Truth be known, sometimes I'm really mad because he's never here. God has given us balance, though, praise be!

I checked out your website last week, and really like it. You are an intelligent person going through some tough stuff right now. My favorite advice to follow is to stop being so hard on myself- feel what I gotta feel, and then move on. (My husband has practically missed my actual birthday every year for the last seven years- we now celebrate it on a different day, whatever day we can work it in, and except for the first time, now it's just nice to be together.)

Feel what you gotta feel- don't be so hard on yourself, and to add more Incredibles wisdom, after you're done, find ways to 'Be flexible."

Take care of yourself and feel free to disregard this if you need to,

kilohertz

[wgjones3]

So how is it you think you're alienating everyone? Hmmm, I'd think you were the life of the party from all the friends you have here.

Keep focused on the good things, bud. Just remember, there's more good stuff on the way. !thumbsup!

[FireFeet]

Unless Thy law had been my comfort, I would have died in my misery;
never shall I forget Thy laws, for they put new life into me.
--Psalm 119:92-93

If Christopher remains in My word, then he is truly My disciple. Christopher will know the truth, and the truth will make him free.

Christopher can do all things through Christ, who strengthens him.

Thanks be to God, who always leads Christopher in triumph in Christ, and reveals through Christopher the sweet aroma of His knowledge in every place.

Who shall separate Christopher from the love of Christ? Could oppression, or anguish, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Even as it is written, "For your sake we are killed all day long. We were accounted as sheep for the slaughter." For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate Christopher from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus, Christopher's Lord.

For Christopher is born of God and overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world: Christopher's faith. Christopher overcomes the world because he believes that Jesus is the Son of God.

The Father delivered Christopher out of the power of darkness, and translated him into the kingdom of the Son of His love.

Christopher is a member of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession, that Christopher may show forth the excellencies of Him who called him out of darkness into His marvelous light.

Let Christopher therefore draw near with boldness to the throne of grace, that he may receive mercy, and may find grace in time of need.


Personal Promise Bible (http://www.personalpromisebible.com)

[edmmom]

Angel,
In case you haven't noticed the only party we're letting you have is a BIRTHDAY PARTY, not a pity party, 'cause we all love you!! You wanted some good news, because of YOUR ADVISE and ENCOURAGEMENT I'm almost through with the first draft of my book. YA HOO!! I wouldn't have been able to do it without you!!
So what if you can't afford to buy a house right now! Just because you own a house, doesn't make it a home! Some of the best homes that I've visited have been apartments, rented houses, or trailers decorated with very little or furniture from someone elses attic! Some of the houses that I've been into that could never been considered a home cost a few million and have the finest furniture. A home is overflowing with God and His LOVE. I'd rather rest my head in a home anyday! And just from reading your posts and the pictures you share of your family, I can tell that you have a very, beautiful HOME and a WONDERFUL LOVING FAMILY!!
Just like Dr. Rita says, count your blessings and hold onto them! And thank God constantly because He LOVES YOU SO!!

[Gumpngreen]

Well, since no one has mentioned it...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

!thumbsup! !thumbsup! :D :D :D !thumbsup! !thumbsup!

[FireFeet]

Oh yeah...September 14 (I think)...National Pirates Day...aka Angel's Birthday! We'll be having cake and rum, argh. Hoist the mainstay! !thumbsup!

[BrotherDave]

I've learned from photography that one postive is greater than 100 negatives.
I've from fatherhood that one little hug from my little one is greater than 100 kicks in the donkey.
Just tell the enemy of your sould how blessed you are, and see what happens.

!thumbsup! brotherdave

[whitehawke]

Angel,
Am I not your friend? Are there no others at cw who care? Look again friend.
You say the bad things out weigh the good in your life?
You don't have to have a tube stuck down your throat just so that you can eat.
You have eyes with which to see and ears to listen. And a voice to speak.
You have a home in heaven.
You have arms strong enough to hug your children.

I once knew a woman who slowly died. One of the first things she lost the ablity to do, was to talk and say to her children, "I love you." She had to write it down on paper. Can you imagine how she felt? Then, she lost the ablity to wrap her arms around her children. Slowly, she lost the abilty to do a lot of things. In the end, she couldn't swallow and drowned because of fluid in her lungs.

Yesterday, I learned of a family with a beautiful daughter named Rebekah. Rebekah is only 3 yet she has inopperable cancer of the face. Her parents hearts must be in agony. No parent wishes to see their child go through what their daughter is.
http://rebekahspage.blogspot.com/
Many people are praying that that beautiful girl is healed.

Angel, you have so many good things, but, as we all do when we are feeling down, you may not be able to see them all. I for one, know what it's like to go there, but there is light at the end of the tunnal, even if you can't see it just yet.
May the Lord bless you and your family and keep your arms strong so you can hold your darling children when they came to you for hugs.

[Merry]

(pssssst...hey guys...his birthdays September 1)

[whitehawke]

Merry,
Hey, cool !thumbsup! Thanks for that.

[writegirl1949]

Angel ... reading all these posts shows me a man who is truly blessed by wonderful friends ... between that, the love of his precious little girl, a wife, and the Creator of the universe ... well, it's all a matter of perspective, isn't it.

I do admire you for your honesty and your willingness to make yourself vulnerable. That's what fellowship is all about ... isn't it.

Not much I can add except I think we all lose our perspective now and then.

Blessings, Francine

[AngelAzariah]

_____I'll come back and read all this as soon as I can, but right now the fire at my home is on my mind. I really want to read what you all had to say though. I will come back and respond.

[whitehawke]

Just so everyone knows, Angel has started a thread about the fire.

http://4Believers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4033

[AngelAzariah]

_____My wife is right her next to me, I don't want her to see me crying right now. Anyhoot, I read everyone's posts, I don't think I could jump through all the mindframes I would have to, to respond to each of you.
_____I'm blessed to be sure. As for my b-day, I just hope to be sleeping in my own bed by then. By the way Hisart, I do not smoke, my father in law does. That may be a good part of the cause, but that's a whole new argument there.
_____I do want to say something about debt though. I probably owe about $100 in debt, but that has become the problem for getting a home. Aparently I need to be in debt in order to have credit. To be honist I could sware and curse about the nasty little blood sucking maggets that formed this retarted idea, but I don't have the time.
_____Off to watch the lion king, or maybe sleep, or something -- I'm just tired. Black with wavy stripes and smelling like burnt rubber. Deo.

[Merry]

Really glad to hear things are at least going this well. When it comes to natural disasters we always say, It could have been worse. Thank God your wife and your girls and you are okay. God Bless you Angel! I know everyones praying things get back to normal (or as I say about my own life, what passes as normal.) Hang in there, Chief! :D

[ellenjames]

OK Everyone!

Let's have a surprise birthday party for Angel on Sept. 1
It may be a pirate birthday party, but no negative Captain Hooks are allowed!

Thank the Lord, angel, you have a wife and two children who love you. And
besides that there is a God in heaven who loves you more than anyone does!

God bless you!

Ellenjames