20 Movie Cliches

[wgjones3]

Thanks to Robin Parish @ Infuze (http://www.infuzemag.com) for pointing out that the following list of cliches is something for us writers to avoid:

http://www.nostalgiacentral.com/features/20moviethings.htm

And I did at least 2 in my last novel. :o

[AngelAzariah]

_____The link dosn't seem to work for me.

[Hisart]

Hey it don't work for me either? :confused:

Seen it before but the link don't go! :eek:

God Bless!
Hisart :cool:

[wgjones3]

I guess they were getting too much traffic and removed it... :confused:

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

No, it works for me, but I use Firefox. That could be it.
Those movie cliches are great, so funny and so true!

[AngelAzariah]

_____Dosn't even show up in firefox for me.

[paulchernoch]

1) Go to google.
2) Search for: 20 movie things
3) Click on the hyper link labeled "cache"

Nice trick?

- Paul

[wgjones3]

Neat trick, Paul... too bad the pictures don't show up too.

Here's the 20, as taken from the Google cache (http://64.233.179.104/search?q=cache:KQIgh_bjmFIJ:www.nostalgiacentral.c om/features/20moviethings.htm+20+movie+things&hl=en) of the site:

1. It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting.

2. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.




3. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it's aired.




4. Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.



5. Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it's the door to a burning building with a child inside.




6. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.



7. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.


8. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with a German accent will do. Similarly, when they are alone, all German soldiers prefer to speak English to each other.

9. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off. Even while scuba diving.




10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.


11. Any police officer about to retire from the force will more often than not die on their last day (especially if their family have planned a party). (Caveat: Detectives can only solve a case after they have been suspended from duty).




12. Getaway cars never start first go. But all cop cars do. (They will also slide to a dramatic stop in the midst of a crime scene).

13. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.




14. On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard . . .




15. All grocery shopping involves the purchase of French loaves which will be placed in open brown paper bags (Caveat: when said bags break, only fruit will spill out).




16. Cars never need fuel (unless they're involved in a pursuit).



17. If you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner until you have defeated their predecessor.




18. If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback.




19. Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. you will always find another one.




20. All single women have a cat.



21. Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet.



22. No matter how savagely a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.




23. If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.




24. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.



25. You will survive any battle in any war UNLESS you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.




26. Prostitutes always look like Julia Roberts or Jamie Lee Curtis. They have expensive clothes and nice apartments but no pimps. They are friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighbourhood who don't mind at all what the girl does for a living.




27. A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.




28. It is not necessary to say "Hello" or "Goodbye" when beginning a telephone conversation. A disconnected call can always be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying "Hello? Hello?" repeatedly.



29. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once (it's called Stallone's Law).




30. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in you room will still be visible, just slightly bluish.


31. Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.

32. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies with complicated devices incorporating fuses, pulleys, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks.



33. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.




34. Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.




35. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.




36. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

37. Most musical instruments (especially wind instruments and accordions) can be played without moving your fingers.




38. In Middle America, all gas station attendants have red handkerchiefs hanging out of their back pockets.




39. All teen house parties have one of every stereotypical subculture present (even people who aren't liked and would never get invited to parties).




40. Trucks use their horns at random (no hang on, that happens in real life too!).

[Hisart]

Oh Ya! !thumbsup!
With this you can build every TV show ever made! :rolleyes:
God Bless!
Hisart :cool:

[Chiara]

Here's a few of mine:

The "C'mon, Sparky!" phenomenon -- every time there's a dog that needs to overcome a physical obstacle, i.e., climb up a cliff, swim across a river, jump over hot lava, etc, it makes to safety.

Russian bad guy characters are almost NEVER Russian. Even now that the Cold War's over.

Computers never use real-life software, and error messages always blink and fill up half the screen.

Despite the physics involved, things explode in the vacuum of space.

Smart women characters always have to wear glasses at least in one scene.

In a group of male scientist characters, there's always one that has unkempt hair and/or wears a Hawaiian shirt.

All labs have bunsen burners, frothy beakers and bubbling food-colored test tubes -- no matter what's being analysed.

In Africa/South America, the trusty guide nearly always dies.

In Africa there must always be a dramatic sunset scene. (Even ones filmed in Africa but are supposed to be somewhere else. Think Star Wars' Tunisian Tatooine. Heh.)

In Africa, it is compulsory to wear khaki and/or a safari vest.

Every vampire must have at least one pair of colored contact lenses.

and lastly,

Courtrooms are antique wood and marble affairs, have windows, and are always the background to a climatic, pivotal (even Oscar-winning) scene.




--Chiara

[AngelAzariah]

_____Wow, not a single one of those is in my work. :) That makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. :D

[Hisart]

:cool: Angel-Dude!
Fresh hot possum pie will do that to you every time! :D
God Bless!
Hisart :cool:

[MysticFire]

Ugh, my father likes possum. And probably any other animals that is furry with four legs...
And have you ever noticed in movies, the women are idiotic and scream when there's trouble nearby, and she can't even pick up a knife (if she does, she only drops it or forgets how to use it) and they always go outside, but go back in because they think it's safe (even though the call was coming from in the house!)
Horror movies are rarely anything but cliches and dumb, pretty women getting cut up. And saying 'please don't kill me' to a killer is signing your death certificate.

[AngelAzariah]

_____Then my book should make you happy. I have "please (http://www.vailion.com/VBookVailionByChristopherAKelsey22.htm)" in this short chapter of my book, and it's not a girl begging to be left alive. :D I'm still wondering if it's too vilent for a childrens book. Maybe I'm a teen writer. Bah, what do I care. :p