Speaking your MC's thoughts

[Katharine]

Answers to this question will depend on style, voice, and perhaps genre, but I'm curious to hear what others think. When writing in omniscient third person, do you ever insert your main characters thougts, verbatim, in italics? Why or why not?

I'm currently editing a manuscript that's been shelved for a couple of years, and found that I switched back and forth between omnisciently telling what my MC was thinking, and revealing it directly in a sentence or two. I think I need to see what I did for most of the ms, and then make a decision to keep going like this or change it all to telling in third-omniscient.

I know I can see what a lot of other authors have chosen to do, but I wanted to ask you what you've done so I can also hear your reasonings. Thanks!

[Tamera]

I would stick to third person narrative in one POV or change POVs and use multiple POVs rather than have 3rd person omniscient. Omnicient is generally frowned on. Sometimes I use italics to quote what the MC or another POV character is thinking. Most of the time I use interior monologue where the narrative relates the POV's thought and observations.

[Tommie Lyn]

I reveal not only my MC's thoughts, but other character's thoughts as well, when I'm writing from their POV -- and I write almost everything from 3rd person limited, not omniscient. And I italicize the thoughts when they are direct.

I also include some telling mixed with the thoughts, as you've said you do. I think it can be effective, and I think that approach gets the reader more inside the character's head (but I could be wrong).

[Katharine]

Thank you, Tamera and Tommie Lyn, for your input. And my ignorance is showing... I need to learn more about "omniscient" vs. "limited omniscient." Good -- that gives me something specific to work on!

As I said, I hoped there'd be some good conversation here. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[Tarin]

If you're going to to directly "quote" a character's thoughts, it's generally customary (although this is probably subject to change; it's already gone through several alterations over the years) to italicize.

That said, I'd recommend avoiding "direct quotes" almost entirely. Directly quoting a character's thoughts detracts from the consistency and tightness of your POV. As the other gals have already pointed out, most stories today are told in a limited 3rd- or 1st-person POV, so essentially all your words are your character's thoughts. When you suddenly stick in a "direct thought," you're sending signals to the reader that everything else he's been reading really wasn't the character's personal narrative. In other words, it's an authorial gimmick that, when used overmuch, usually fails on two counts: 1) It doesn't flow well with the rest of the narrative (this is esp. true if you include entire paragraphs of direct thought). 2) It detracts from the tightness of the overall narrative because it seems to offer the reader two different "voices" from the same character. Does that make sense?

If you pay attention to the authors who really know what they're doing, you'll notice that they rarely include direct thoughts. Instead, they seamlessly incorporate their character's mindset into the narrative itself. For example, instead of saying, "I wonder what that man is doing over there, Muriel thought" you would probably be better off saying "Muriel wondered what that man was doing over there." (Of course, both of these sentences are telling instead of showing, so they're not worth including in an MS anyway, but hopefully, they help you get the idea. ;) )

[Timber Wolf]

Answers to this question will depend on style, voice, and perhaps genre, but I'm curious to hear what others think. When writing in omniscient third person, do you ever insert your main characters thougts, verbatim, in italics? Why or why not?

....



yes.

it's show not tell

[Timber Wolf]

and I now see I'm out-numbered by the ladies - oh well.

[michaelsnyder]

I'm taking the easy way out here...

Tarin said: "so essentially all your words are your character's thoughts. When you suddenly stick in a "direct thought," you're sending signals to the reader that everything else he's been reading really wasn't the character's personal narrative. In other words, it's an authorial gimmick that, when used overmuch, usually fails on two counts: 1) It doesn't flow well with the rest of the narrative (this is esp. true if you include entire paragraphs of direct thought). 2) It detracts from the tightness of the overall narrative because it seems to offer the reader two different "voices" from the same character."

I agree with that...especially the part about all the thoughts being those of the POV character. I say the more intimate the better. I've read third person stuff where the author is so deep in the POV that it feels like you're in the character's head.

And: "Does that make sense?"

Yep, I think so.

Mike

[wgjones3]

I think it depends on the cadence of your narrative voice. I tend to throw direct thoughts in to help with the tension. Also because sometimes it sounds cool.

[michaelsnyder]

"Also because sometimes it sounds cool."

All kidding aside, I use that reasoning pretty much all the time. Well stated, WGJ.

Mike

[Katharine]

Excellent input, and I appreciate all of you for taking the time to discuss this for me. As I noted *not* right away, I may be a little confused about POV terminology, and I'll work on that. But back to what I meant to ask...

Tarin, Tamera, and Tommie Lyn -- Good points, all. I agree that overuse of the italicized "direct thoughts" would bog down the prose. When I've used this, it's only for a very short, succinct thought. Tarin, I appreciate your cautions about using direct thoughts. Sounds like, if I employ this technique, it should only be used for major "Aha!" moments. I'm not a fan of gimmicks, so I'll be careful. Seamlessness is good. And I'll go to school on how some Seasoned Professionals do this thought thing.

TWolf, thanks for agreeing with what I was already doing. What's a little literary enablement between friends?

Wgjones and Mike -- Hmmm, I like the part about setting a certain cadence and everything sounding right. I've gotta write like I talk, because I want to hear the story in my head sounding just like people I hear in real life. Intimate, yes. Unvarnished, for sure. Authentic.

[Michael Scott]

I've gotta write like I talk, because I want to hear the story in my head sounding just like people I hear in real life. Intimate, yes. Unvarnished, for sure. Authentic.

One of the tricks I use is saying things outloud as I write them. This is only problematic when I'm writing while someone else is in the room...

I occasionally insert a character's thoughts into the narrative, if only because it is more showing than telling, and I want my readers to experience what my character is feeling.

On the other hand, I haven't been published just yet, so maybe I'm screwing up this way.

[Tommie Lyn]

One of the tricks I use is saying things outloud as I write them. This is only problematic when I'm writing while someone else is in the room...


One way to forestall the suspicious looks is to use ReadPlease. You paste your text into it and have the software read it back to you aloud.

One plus is that when I read it myself, I will read missing words I meant to write as though they were actually there -- but their omission is glaringly apparent in a ReadPlease session.

You can download a free version of the software at:

http://www.readplease.com/

(And thanks, DrRita, for telling us about ReadPlease.)

[Michael Scott]

Coo-ool. I'll check that out. It might take away the fun of making people wonder, though... ;)

[Katharine]

Coo-ool. I'll check that out. It might take away the fun of making people wonder, though... ;)

How's it going to take away your fun? Now there'll be TWO voices in the room! Muu-ahh-ahh-hahh!

Tommie Lyn (and Dr. Rita) thanks for this info. Hmmm... I wonder if Microsoft's Speech component would also work? But then there'd be the problem of it wanting to read the whole page, and figuring out commands and so on. This sounds easier!

Mike, reading your work aloud is very helpful indeed, but then there are those times when I can hear the voices in my head, and my lips aren't moving. That's why we -- uh, I -- like to write alone.

[Michael Scott]

Hmm... I wonder if I can make set this up to have an argument with me.... :)

[Zanzibar]

I like to throw in some of the MC's thoughts in itallics - I think it makes them more reader 'friendly' - showing their inner thoughts.

My .02, fwiw.

[Tarin]

I like to throw in some of the MC's thoughts in itallics - I think it makes them more reader 'friendly' - showing their inner thoughts.

My .02, fwiw.

You absolutely want to be showing your reader your character's thoughts. But you want to try to make those thoughts flow as smoothly with the overall narrative as possible. The fact that your character is, in fact, "thinking" the entire narrative means you should rarely need to insert any direct thoughts. As I mentioned in the previous post, direct thoughts often have the opposite hoped for effect by actually distancing readers from your POV as a whole.

[Katharine]

Tarin, thanks again. I think I see what you mean about not letting direct thoughts interrupt the flow. My aim has been to use italicized thought-quotes as garnishes in the text, sprinkling them in just once in a while to make a point.

Hmmm... word picture... italicized parsley! Yum (not.)