Question

[Laina]

I am writing a short story for an assignment. I am taking a writing course. I want my MC to feel the Holy Spirit speaking to her. She is being rude to the next door neighbor because she is grieving over the loss of her husband. How would you show that the Holy Spirit is speaking to her? Do you use italics, do you make the words smaller or what?

Here's an example:

Jean stepped inside and gave Lori a hug. Lori rolled her eyes and quickly pulled away from her. Love her Lori.

Love her Lori is where I want the Holy Spirit convicting her. How does one do this?

Thanks so much.

Laina :)

[Tarin]

I'd italicize it.

[lynnmosher]

I was going to say the same thing. However, I think I'd start a new paragraph for it.

[Laina]

Thanks Tarin and Lynn.

Okay it should look like this?

Jean stepped inside and gave Lori a hug. Lori rolled her eyes and quickly pulled away from her.

Love her Lori.

Do you make it smaller? Do the reader's guess its the Lord or the Holy Spirit speaking to her?

Thanks so much!

[lynnmosher]

I wouldn't make it smaller. But I'm thinking it may need a tagline, like...she heard the Holy Spirit whsiper. What do you think, Tarin?

[Tarin]

Personally, I wouldn't put a tag on it. In fictional writing about the Holy Spirit, subtlety is the key. After all, most of the times when that "still, small voice" speaks to us, we have no dialogue tag, no absolute way of knowing THIS IS THE HOLY SPIRIT. Things aren't usually that black and white in real life; thus they shouldn't be that black and white in our writing.

However, to avoid confusing your readers, you might want to stick a wee bit of commentary in there, something like "The strange prompting filtered into Lori's brain from out of nowhere." I'm sure you can think of something better than those words, but you get the idea. :)

On another note, I would, personally, withhold direct "quotes" from the Holy Spirit, except possibly in climactic moments. Almost without exception, subtlety in such matters carries far more power.

[lynnmosher]

Yes, that's what I meant, Tarin. You said it much better than I did. I wouldn't use quotes either.

[Laina]

Great!!! Thanks Tarin, Lynn. You've been most helpful!

[Tarin]

Yes, that's what I meant, Tarin. You said it much better than I did. I wouldn't use quotes either.

Sorry - I didn't make my intention very clear. I meant that, in my own works, I wouldn't even go so far as to delineate the Holy Spirit's prompting in actual words. I would leave off altogether the words in italics and try to indicate the Holy Spirit's prompting in a more subtle fashion.

But that's just my opinion, of course. ;)

[lynnmosher]

Aha! I see your point. I know this would work in many cases, but would it work here, since the words are a prompt to do something specific?

[Laina]

Sorry - I didn't make my intention very clear. I meant that, in my own works, I wouldn't even go so far as to delineate the Holy Spirit's prompting in actual words. I would leave off altogether the words in italics and try to indicate the Holy Spirit's prompting in a more subtle fashion.

But that's just my opinion, of course. ;)

Tarin you are correct. I misunderstood your meaning. If you wouldn't have the Holy Spirit actually putting words in her mind, how would you do it in a more subtle fashion? Instead of Love her, Lori what would you say?

Thanks so much! :)

[Tarin]

It's hard to say without knowing the context, the characters, and such. But perhaps you could make mention of an "inexplicable urge" or a "sudden impulse." I'm not saying that spelling it out, in this instance, is wrong (you're the author - only you can determine that!), but I do know that subtext (the art of what isn't said) is more powerful.

As Christian authors, we certainly want to highlight and credit the Spirit's leading in our lives, but we have to be careful not to make it too blatant. As I mentioned before, the Spirit usually *isn't* blatant in real life, so why should try to paint Him as such in our fiction? I've certainly seen works in which the author was able to successfully make use of "direct quotes" from God; but I've seen a jillion more that were ruined by whacking their readers over the head with "the message," instead of letting it filter in naturally through the subtext.

I hope this is making some kind of sense... :confused:

Edit: BTW, I don't think using the words Love her, Lori are a problem. I just wouldn't say outright that they come from the Holy Spirit. Often times, the thoughts God puts in our heads aren't necessarily discernible from our own thoughts. You can then indicate through the context of the story (which I'm presuming will indicate Lori's Christianity) and the results of her actions that the prompting was of the Lord without actually ever saying so. That's subtext. ;)

[Thebigguy]

You could always read the book of Esther also, God is subtle in that as well it might give you ideas. Sometimes personal experience is more real how has the Holy Spirit moved through you how would you describe it let him show you how he has done this, he'll tell you if you ask him.

[Lookin^Up]

Sometimes the Holy Spirit speaks in discernible words, but more often, as Tarin expressed so well, it's more of an impression, a perception, a subtext--even an inner urging to do something contrary to one's own natural reaction.

Here's an excerpt from one of my stories, in a scene that may be similar to yours in the sense of hugging an enemy. It comes from Chapter 28 of A Question of Justice, in which the clannet was just tried and convicted in a secular court. Clinissa Ru was one of the antagonists, a pawn to the feminist Women's League, and in this scene she comes to Fondlo Urzer's cell to apologize--sort of. Here's how I handle his connection with the Holy Spirit, indicated in orange text.

“So,” said Fondlo sarcastically, “the traitor visits the condemned. To what do I owe this honor?”

“You’re angry,” she said quietly, turning away.

“Shouldn’t I be? You were Jijan’s best friend, for goodness’ sake. That’s why we received you on board. Sure, we were shocked to discover your baby … but after that, you were still treated like a friend. Is this how you treat all your relationships?”

Clinissa placed her hands on a lower bar while resting her forehead on a higher one. “I don’t blame you for hating me.” She rocked her sorrowful head on the bar.

Gradually Fondlo sensed more remorse than malice in Clinissa’s tone. “Did Scondar [the prosecutor] send you?” His tone had lost the sarcastic edge.

“He doesn’t know I’m here. Neither does the League. I came alone.”

“Then … why are you here?” He found himself moving closer to Clinissa, feeling led to comfort her.

Her voice cracked with her next words. “Fondlo … you must believe me … I didn’t mean for all this to happen.” She sniffled. “I saw how they treated you in court … it wasn’t fair …” Her tears choked off her words.

“How did you expect them to treat us? Didn’t you know that people who hate God can make up all kinds of excuses to put His people away, whether or not they have proof? They like to believe they’re being reasonable, while we’re acting superstitiously and not thinking it through. But in reality it’s the other way around.”

“No … I didn’t know that. Well … maybe I did.” Her next words came close to a whine. “I don’t know, Fondlo. I’m so confused.”

Touching her shoulder, Fondlo easily drew her into an embrace, letting her cry on his shoulder. Thousands of barbs and cruel remarks crowded his tongue to be shot toward the dartboard of her soul, but at the moment he could get none of them out. On the other hand, neither was he disposed to show every ounce of sympathy within him, so it was a struggle to strike a balance.

“Clinissa … it’s too late for tears. The damage is done. We must all take the consequences for our actions.”
You can see Fondlo's dilemma here. One part of him wants to reject Clinissa outright for what she has done, but another part, the godly part, is urging him to express love instead. The Spirit's influence is told subtly in verbs such as sense, perceive, feel led, and so forth, plus an inexplicable inability to express all the cruel things he wants to say.

I hope this helps.

[melw]

i agree with italics the words. Redeeming Love shows the Holy Spirit talking to the MC she uses a lot of italics

MEL

[Laina]

Thanks everyone.

I want it to be subtle, but I want the reader to know for sure that it is the Holy Spirit's conviction. So I will use the italics. Thanks again everyone for all your help.