Pondering what to do...

[righter1]

Hey all...

Had a lot going on lately and everything, but today, I came home from work just because I was sick of the place.

This has got me thinking about whether I really want to stick around another 4 months (I was planning on working until I had my baby, then never return from maternity leave.) Quite frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if they try to fire me when I come in tomorrow. Me and the boss haven't been exactly seeing eye to eye lately, and though I haven't been written up, I wouldn't put it past him. I had a spat with him today (re: something STUPID that I did speak to HR and his boss about.) And, I'm not really looking forward to going back tomorrow. I feel my boss picks on me for stuff that's stupid, and that I don't get the respect I deserve from most everybody.

All this junk, plus the fact that some of the stuff that the corporation as whole (international, Fortune 100 or 500 company) has been doing really makes me sick. Recently, according to their 'corporate intranet', they hosted some function for LAMBDA, a gay and lesbian organization. This really turned my stomach, especially given the number of Christians, Jews and Muslims they have working for them and investing in them that probably vehemently disapprove. There's been other stuff that I've noticed, and of course, the NY Atty Gen's office is investigating them (again) for some 'funny accounting' stuff. (Given that bit of information, if you've paid attention to the news, you should be able to guess which company I work for. ;))

Anyway, I don't know what to do. I called my hubby when I left this afternoon, and said that I was leaving work and not coming back. To which, his exact words were, "Uh-oh." Then I added, "At least not today." But, I really don't know if I can put up with much more of the shenanigans in the next few months. I don't tolerate stress well as it is, and I have a bit of a violent tendency (which usually gets absorbed in my writing). I told one of my good friends as well as my coworker (same person) that if I'd stayed, I'd probably have gotten myself arrested because the next time I saw my boss, I was so angry about how he'd treated me (and this is after the chat with his boss and the HR lady) that I'd likely hit him. Not good when one is 23 1/2 weeks pregnant!

Right now, I'd just like peace about going back there tomorrow. I really don't want to at the moment. But, at the same time, I need to decide if it's worth me sticking around any longer. Because of hubby's new job, I could leave and we'd be fine financially, plus I've got two (three if you count my writing) businesses to run from home that I could definitely use the time to work on that are sort-of on the back burner right now due to time constraints. So, it's not like I'd have nothing to do if I quit. And, the stress of the place I work for right now I know isn't good on the baby. I know it can hear and feel all my anger and frustration right now, and that can't be good. Everyone keeps telling me to calm down, and all that does is make it worse! :rolleyes:

Okay, sorry to vent so long. Prayers are appreciated, as is any advice you care to share.

Thanks.

[Tamera]

Lord, give Liberty wisdom and peace concerning this situation.

[lynnmosher]

Liberty, It sounds like you answered your own question. It seemed obvious to me within what you wrote. Quit! What would be the consequences if you did? And what are the consequences of the stress on the baby if you continue? If there are no financial problems, why do you need the stress of this job? Will be praying for you.

[righter1]

Liberty, It sounds like you answered your own question. It seemed obvious to me within what you wrote. Quit! What would be the consequences if you did? And what are the consequences of the stress on the baby if you continue? If there are no financial problems, why do you need the stress of this job? Will be praying for you.

Yeah, probably... I just have to talk to hubby about it. He's wanting to get a huge chunk of our debt paid off before the baby's born, and my income is primarily being used to pay stuff off above and beyond what he's making. So, he may want me to hold out as long as I can, or until I get arrested, whichever happens first. (I'm only sort-of kidding about the arrested thing. :p)

[lynnmosher]

I hope so! LOL!

[PepperGardenMan]

Lord, let your will be known to Liberty and her husband. Lead them into the correct united decision. We know that you have the answers. Give them ears and hearts to hear.

[Xenia]

You have my prayers too. I know how stressful the workplace can be!

[wonderingif]

Okay, this is probably not going to get me any fans but.. here goes.
First, read 1Pet 2:13 - 21 and Heb 13:17.
Now go before the Lord and ask Him what He did.
Lastly consider this, the Lord is refining us all. No matter what you decide God will still continue to teach you what you need to learn. He is trying to make you "perfect in every good work" Heb 13:17. So if you quit, you will still have to learn whatever valuable lesson He has prepared for you. From my personal experience, the first way He tries to teach us is ALWAYS easier than the next, or the next or the... well you get the point.
Oh yea, check out Under Cover by John Bevere. It will shed some light on this type of thing.

[wonderingif]

oops sorry it's Heb 13:21 for the perfect quote :)

[melw]

i left a job because i was actually getting sick from it. I only realised this fully when i left it and the symptoms left.

Stress is not good for you or your baby. you have to keep yourself healthy.

I will pray taht things work out in whichever way.

MEL

[Mouse5]

Liberty, I have a monster of a temper that has a tendency to rear it's ugly head and go crazy. In other words I understand the strong desire to lash out and hit those who are causing the anguish. This is why I have a punching bag. It does wonders for getting that negative energy out. A good long scream of frustration does wonders for me as well. ;)

I want to tell you something though we are suppose to be slow to anger and quick to listen. Not sure what verse that is but I believe it is found in Proverbs somewhere. When I think of being quick to listen I don't think about listening to those who seem to be causing the problem. I think more along the lines of listening to God. Anger is not a bad thing but it can cause those of us who are quick to get angry to make rash decisions without first consulting the one in charge.

When you are faced with those who are causing your workplace to be hellish and stressful find a quiet place, seek God out, and pour your heart out to Him. Ask Him to make it obvious what He wants you to do in this situation. He may want you to stay at your job and learn how to deal with the stress and to lean on Him in order to get you through each day. Then again it may be time for you to leave. So pray, pray and then pray some more.

I agree with Mel. Stress is not good for the baby, but God can help you stay calm even in the most stressful of circumstances. I will be praying for you.

God bless

[righter1]

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers, everyone. :) It's appreciated.

This morning, I got pulled into my boss' office and was told I was insubbordinate yesterday. If it happens again, I'm getting written up. (whoop-dee-do). For some people, this would be the end of the world for them. I stopped caring a LONG time ago, so I could care less if I get written up. I told him point blank I thought he was rude (to which, he replied, "And you weren't?") I did admit I wasn't necessarily right, but all I'd wanted was clarification on what he was wanting from me because he wasn't clear.

To top that off, he made it seem that I wouldn't have gotten pulled into his office if I hadn't gone to the HR lady. This one royally ticked me off because that's my right to go to her!

I've talked to my husband and two of my co-workers since all of this happened, and they feel that I would be within my right to quit. While I was on the phone with my hubby, I started crying and can't quite stop--even a half hour later. My husband would prefer I go talk to my boss's boss again, but I'm not sure if I want to do that.


I think right now what I'm going to do is talk to one of my good friends/mentors sometime in the next couple of days (after I've calmed down.) Depending on how that goes, and what my husband says about it, I'll probably tender my resignation. Quite frankly, I stopped caring about this job a long time ago, and really could give a rip whether I stay or go. With a baby on the way, I've got a gazillion things I'd rather do. The stress at this job isn't one thing I need, especially since I get the distinct impression from my boss that he doesn't like me, and I think two things are part of it: that I'm pregnant and that I'm a vocal Republican. Can't prove it, but I think it's there.

Anyway, right now I'm hoping I can just stay calm today and make it through the day. Two of my co-workers are urging me to take the next few days off to think things through, which I'm thinking about. And, when I found out one of my other good friends here is looking for another job, I can't help but think it's time.

[Merry]

Yeah, in some ways being laid off has been great because, I'm not stressed out out the way I was before. Oh, my gosh, my temper was reaching critical mass about 3 times day.
Not good. It comes from an extended exposure to Bull. But yeah, the only problem becomes what to do next? If you were going to stay home with your baby, then it's already sort of planned. Talk it over with hubby, see what he thinks. I know staying in a crummy work environment stinks. I can't imagine doing it while pregnant.

[righter1]

I know staying in a crummy work environment stinks. I can't imagine doing it while pregnant.

Yeah... there's the problem. I'm apt to want to kill certain people at least 3 times a day. As it is, my pressure valves are cutoff because of my physical state, which only makes my temper even hotter.

Gonna talk to hubby tonight; I've already got some of the verbiage in my resignation letter figured out in my head, will work it out more tonight.


Oh, and on the resignation letter, I fully intend to list out point by point why I'm leaving, including the fact that I'm not challenged and I feel that my job could do by a moderately trained monkey.

[jacks girl]

Lord bless Liberty to be a great light to her boss and workers, help her to understand and know what she should do, bless her with such peace about your love that the trivial things of this earth won't bother her and so she can smile and say kind things to her boss and heap coals of kindness on his head showing the love you have for us, In Jesus name your will be done not ours amen and amen.

If you quit or not I hope you make the right decision. just don't let anger or frustration decide this for you. getting out of debt can be very important, trust me from one who knows how debt can weigh you down. May be you can think of your job as a way to help you and your family, instead of thinking so much about your boss and how he angers you.

I personally would feel that i was letting him win by pushing me out of my position before i was ready to quit, but that is me, you must do what is best for you and the babe. It sounds like you must deal with this man a lot so it may be more than you can deal with.

Just think and i know this sounds cliche but what would Jesus do.

Love and prayers sent to you and i hope you can make a decision that will be best for you and the little one. May be if you do quit you can find another job quickly that could also help pay off your debt before the babe arrives.

good luck and God bless
Jacks Girl

[righter1]

Thanks, Jacks...

On the debt thing, I have two businesses to run from home. One can be built rather quickly to replace my income (I have some friends that will help me). So, that's not really concerning me. I'm just wanting to wait another day or two to make sure I'm not doing this out of anger. But, truthfully, I've been wanting out for a long time. I think it's time.

[Timber Wolf]

if the job is making you sick, and endagering the baby, and you have the finances, I'd at leat look at trying to get less hours. Is there anyway you can file harrasment charges w/ HR?

Otherwise, just go take some early maternity leave, and work on what you enjoy - your writing.

[Xenia]

I think you are smart to allow yourself some time to make sure you aren't reacting. I know that hormones (and yours are bound to be hoppin) can make you feel different about things. I could tell you some personal stories about that! This is the main reason I say it's smart to give yourself those few days to just step back and see how you feel then.
I am also so glad that you have other options for income. Staying in a job you hate JUST for the money is the pits! Pray about it, discuss with hubby and then follow your gut.
You've been on my mind off and on today so I am praying...

[jacks girl]

I'm glad you have other options to get rid of your debt cause it can eat away at your peace of mind and family peace. i pray you make the right decision and that all ends well.

jacks

[righter1]

thanks. :) I drove into work this morning and the closer I got, the madder I got. I honestly can't remember being this upset about something for this long (though my husband assures me I have been.)

We're still in the discussion phase right now. Hubby wants me to hold out a little longer, but I'm really not sure I can, especially when the health of the baby is at stake. :o I hope to have a final decision by the weekend.

[tlm]

Will it be paid maternity leave? If not, I wouldn't worry about leaving, for a moment. On the other hand, don't burn bridges with that resignation letter.

i left a job because i was actually getting sick from it. I only realised this fully when i left it and the symptoms left.

This is a matter you should really consider fully--especially with the baby. I changed jobs last year. For the past 4 years, the doctor kept me on blood pressure medicine and my blood pressure was constantly/consistantly on the danger level.

Then I began to teach in a private school--less pay but better conditions. My blood pressure dropped 20 points, the first safe reading I have had in 4 years!

[righter1]

Will it be paid maternity leave? If not, I wouldn't worry about leaving, for a moment. On the other hand, don't burn bridges with that resignation letter.



Yes and no. I think that I have to return to work to actually maintain the maternity leave benefits. I have no intention of doing so, so I don't think it would matter one way or the other.

Burning bridges doesn't bother me in this instance. As I said in my first post, I've become increasingly sick about some of the corporate policies that the company has--supporting LAMBDA for one, as well as trying to "go green" which I think is a load of hogwash and a half. I'm also sick of working for a huge, worldwide company. If I were to decide to go back to working for someone else, which at this point, I'm sick of having a boss period (sometimes even my husband!), it would have to be a smaller company that would actually appreciate their employees. I don't feel like I am appreciated or respected here.

[tlm]

Well, that would solve it for me, but pray and seek God's will. Amazingly, I left a large system to work for a small church school at half the salary. I haven't regretted the move, have better health, and all my bills have been met--but I knew the move was God's will.

Those of you who have been here for awhile will remember the horrible shape I was in last year because of my work. Right after I took the job at the private school, there was an all out race problem in the town where I used to work. I would have been an innocent person drawn into that, if I had stayed.

[Botim]

Seek for the Lord's peace in all, staying or leaving and you will be free from this cloudy-prison. Some times, God speaks using such indication "peace off!" or "Peace within". Either there or not, God specifically requested you to trust him for all the expenses. More so, your state demand peace! Seek the face of the Lord, leave or stay at his bidding. You need peace and boldness to font the future! May the very God of peace, the father of our Lord Jesus Christ, lead you out of this Prison of "confusion and fear" in Jesus name! (amen).

[Botim]

Sister, if the policies contradict your faith, and does not sound like God is there, and you are not in the position to effect the change and you have sought the face of God, and you heard "leave" pls. Leave. it is better to stay in Gerar Gen. 26:1-13. than to Go elsewhere. May The Lord Help you and your husband decisions in Jesus name.

[righter1]

Thanks for the input... I've FINALLY almost calmed down (took the whole week to do so--though I still want to figure out what car my boss drives and let all the air out of his tires.)

One of my friends is urging me to wait until after my baby shower (probably in August), and I told hubby that I didn't think I could wait until the baby is born to leave... Right now, I'm going to try to hold out until at least mid-August, maybe Labour Day. But, if I get much more flack for no apparent reason, or if the company does much more that I can't agree with, I've warned him (hubby) that I'll have to leave. This way, I *should* have at least 4 - 6 weeks to adjust to being home all the time before baby comes, get any last-minute type stuff done in the baby room, organize my office, really get my home-based businesses off and running, do some writing, that kind of thing. :) It'll also allow us a chance to adjust to just his income for a bit (unless the businesses are off and running and providing a steady check every month, which I'm hoping they are!), and get all my bills figured out so they'll come out automatically so hubby doesn't have to worry about doing it since I'm the money manager in the house...


I'll keep you posted on how things go... I haven't killed my boss yet, though I am thinking about telling HR that I think he's unfit for a management position.

[Penny]

Speak to your husband-- he is your authority here, right after Christ. Your husband knows more of the situation than you can share on this site-- he will take into consideration what your health is doing with this pressure.

Remember, he will be thinking more clearly about this than you may be (b/c of stress). Go with what he says, and if that includes working a little while longer, remember that you CAN control your actions; if you feel you can't, then you've done the right thing by removing yourself from a situation you can't act appropriately in, -- then you should speak with your husband again. He will respect that you've given it another try and you've made an attempt at doing what he suggested. You'll win points with him--and that counts in the long run!

ALSO: I know that situations can be out of control by the time someone goes for advice/help. This may be one of them. If you are beyond dealing with this rationally, tell your husband, calmly. Tell him you don't trust yourself to go back, and you'd like his agreement/permission to get out now. Pray about it beforehand-- God will help him understand and give him wisdom! (This is PROMISED to you in the Bible.)

[Mouse5]

Liberty, it sounds like you've gotten some good advice and now that you've calmed down a bit you have been able to come up with a tentative plan. Sometimes just knowing that you can up and leave takes care of some of the stress. I'll be praying that you will be given the strength to make it all the way to August, but if it is not in God's will for you to stay until then He will make it blatantly obvious to you.

God bless you.

[tlm]

Make sure you use all those sick and personal days before you go. I once had almost 20 sick days that I used in one year (10 months). Hey! They shouldn't have made my life so stressful!!!

[righter1]

Make sure you use all those sick and personal days before you go. I once had almost 20 sick days that I used in one year (10 months). Hey! They shouldn't have made my life so stressful!!!

:) I'm going to check the employee handbook on the official policy, but I think if I give 2 weeks notice, I get paid for unused time! That's always a bonus... ;)

[GentleJourneyAu]

The lesson the Lord may be trying to tell you may have to do with priorities. What is more important? Paying off debt or your health and the health of the little soul you carry? Your frustration is part of knowing what you want to do, but not doing it. Someone once told me when I said I wanted to wait until we were financially solid before I had children, that that might never be. Situations are never perfect for starting a family because you will always be in flux. It is part of life. Maybe those two at home businesses will take up the slack. I retired early because of stress and feared not being able to pay the bills, but I am still here two years later, and the bills are being paid and my blood pressure is way down. Take it for what its worth, Love, Elaine