Help!!!

[ceejay]

Does anyone have trouble with their spouses not understanding the need to let us have some time to ourselves to read, write, etc!!! If so, how do you deal?!!!! Don't get me wrong, my husband is wonderful, but sometimes he gets a little moody when I have my nose stuck in a book or mag. Or he gets frustrated when we're in the car together and I'm staring off into space, not having a conversation with him. It's not that I don't want to talk, but I'm writing my book at those times (at least in my head). I work a full time job, have two kids, and help my husband besides in ministry (youth and music) and I am having trouble creating a balance.

[lynnmosher]

I think this would be better suited for 4B. This section is for saying howdy. One of the moderators will probably come along and move this. My powers only work in 4B. Roam around, familiarize yourself with everything, and make yourself at home. Be sure to read the TOS and FAQs at the top of the page in the gray. Also, read the stickies at the beginning of most forums/workshops. These will all help guide you through the site.

In our house, a nest emptied of three kids, my husband has his own interests. So while I write or whatever, he does his thing in the basement, his domain. You sound very busy. Have you talked to your husband about this? Some people are not comfortable with a spouse that has interests that do not include them. Does your husband have any interests of his own? I pray you get this worked out. I'm sure it is very frustrating.

[whitehawke]

There you go. I moved you right on over to 4B.
God bless. :)

[righter1]

Ceejay,

I have the same problem with my husband as well. I've made an effort to try and only work on my writing when he's not around, or is otherwise occupied. Usually, this means writing at lunch, or while he's working on the cars or mowing the lawn. And, since I have a laptop, if we're on a trip, he'll typically let me work for part of the trip, if I'm so inclined.

My husband's problem is that his love language (at least primarily) is quality time. So if I'm with him, he wants me to be engaged in what we're doing instead of letting my mind wander into my 'fantasy' worlds. Could this potentially be your hubby's problem as well? I know it's frustrating... I've been married for 5 1/2 years, and didn't write for the first year to year and a half--at least not like I do now. Sitting down and telling my hubby my writing goals definitely has helped, at least to a degree. He understands much better now than he did 3 years ago that writing a novel is a lengthy process. I haven't quite told him that I just started a fourth draft, after deciding that the 3rd draft that I had begun to submit to agents late last year wasn't quite up to snuff.

[jacks girl]

These are some helpful things.

While traveling in a car get an audio book for him to listen to you can still zone out and write your own story. or find a music station for him to listen to or even the news or something to keep his mind busy as yours is.

the same for when you want to read at the house, you sometimes hve to work on helping them find something to amuse themselves. My hubby talks on ham radio so as soon as he hits that room i hit the computer. Or when he's on the phone with his brother or gone riding his bike or outside.

You will need to learn to read when he is busy, cause i think it is our duty to be there for our husbands so if we want time alone we must find something to busy their minds or bodies.

I hope this helps and if i think of anything else i'll jump in again.

jacks