Kalámitas I: The Mazerani Conspiracy

[WhiteDragon47]

Prologue: A Perfect Crime



Northwestern Dravidian.


Strobes of lightning solarized the screaming wolf's face. As his cries subsided, thunder roared in the tiny room. Rust-eaten chains bound the wolf to a table of splintered wooden planks. The chains clattered and tensed as the wolf's body jerked in waves of pain.

Above the chain-laced table, two dragons lurked over him. A slender red one held a tipped whip in a clawed hand. The blue dragon, taller and bound with woven muscle, watched the wolf tremble. Their towering figures were silhouetted by the flickering torches mounted into the gray brick walls.

The blue dragon knelt down, his thighs and calves bulging. "Tell me what I want to know," he growled in a sharp accent.

The wolf gritted his fangs and shuddered. Blood streamed down his head and around his miserable face.

The blue dragon lifted his head. "Hit him again."

"He doesn't know anything," the red dragon argued. "We can't do this to him."

"Hit him again!" the blue dragon roared, unsheathing his fangs.

"It's your life I'm trying to save, Mordin! The king will punish you for torturing an innocent foreigner!"

"This beast is not innocent! He has been working with the wolves responsible for killing our ambassador!"

"You don't know that for sure!"

"You--" The blue dragon jerked the coils of rope away and put on a venomous look. He knelt down to the wolf and snatched a look at his furry back. Blood soaked into his fur and dribbled down his sides.

"I know you're not innocent," said Mordin. "I know what I heard from you, I know you have killed our ambassador, and I know you are plotting to kill more of our people, so stop testing my patience!" he roared. "Who's the target?!"

The wolf lifted his head, revealing his squinting bronze eyes. "Do what you want to me," he snarled. "I'm telling you nothing."

The dragon stepped away without a word. With a jerk of his muscular arm, he hurled the rope forward. The whip twitched with a loud snap, slicing into the wolf's side.

A tearing cry howled from the table. The wolf trembled and sobbed as a throbbing wound oozed with blood.

"Mordin, stop this madness!"

"Think about the wounds you already have!" roared Mordin, ignoring the red dragon's plea. "Tell me what I want to know, or I will tear them open again!"

The wolf barked a curse.

"You want to suffer?" Mordin said to the wolf. "Fine!"

Mordin leapt into the air, beginning to whip the rope.

"Stop! STOP!! I'll tell you! I'll tell you!"

The whip dropped from Mordin's hand and fell to the floor like a snake. The red dragon looked on in sudden shock.

"Who's the target?" asked Mordin.

The wolf managed a heavy breath that degenerated into sobs of agony.

"Who's the target?!"

The wolf lifted his contorted face and screamed, "Sûr'Zhegon!"

Mordin's fanged face fell. He looked up at the red dragon, who stood with his mouth and tail limp.

"Send the messengers off!" Mordin roared. "Go!"

The red dragon stared for another second at Mordin before turning to run. He knew that Mordin was right. The wolf's words were "Të Ank Fáristid"--The Perfect Crime.

Mordin rose to his feet and exhaled in relief. Defeated, the wolf hung his bleeding head.

† † †

[Carol Jane]

Hi, White Dragon!

I'm new here, but your prologue sounds very interesting. I have a prologue in one of my futuristic stories. What does your prologue mean (I only ask at the risk of sounding very ignorant)? :o

My prologue is naturally related to the story, but does not focus on the people in the prologue until much later in the story. The incident in my prologue takes place at the same time, but not in the same place……am I clearer than mud, yet? Heehee!

I'm sure everyone has different reasons for a prologue……some are used in a book II or a book III to get the reader caught up on where the former book left off. Do you have a former book?

All I know is…here I am, wanting to read more!!!!! I love the names you use.

Hope you are still working on the story and haven't given up!

Yours in good writing!

Carol Jane

[WhiteDragon47]

Oh, believe me, I haven't given up. In fact, out of the dozen or so books I've written, I've never felt more Divinely inspired and afire than I have about this book! Ever since I began it in 2006, it's grown up with me and continues to do so, and God has used it in great ways in my Spiritual and artistic growth.

Thank you so much for the enthusiasm to read it. That really means a lot to me, and it's something I'm not used to. I'm proud of my talent and my massive imagination, by my biggest struggle is glorifying God with it and not using it to glorify myself. I can't even begin to tell you how HARD that is. But this book's creation and recreation are, in its own ways, tempering me to be more and more of a Godpleaser (a painful process, I can assure you!). Finally, I'm beginning to choose Him as my biggest audience, and it has made all the difference, slowly but surely.

Anyhow, the prologue does appear later in the book--circa Chapter 12 or 13, where "Të Ank Fáristid" (also the title of the same chapter) takes place. This is the first book in the series, and the challenge for me is working it into the rest of the story. Here's the plot: Alex Taylor is an artist and writer. The world you read in "A Perfect Crime" is part of his artistic creation, which he enhances and weaves together--his first major creative project in years. So the launching point in this story has to be done well, or I could do what C.S. Lewis did: Put his most popular story, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, second in the series! (I've actually spent a year or so thinking about doing that, but it hasn't materialized yet.)

Oh, and before I forget, thanks for the thumbs up on the names! I posted a similar chapter for one of my college classes, and one of the students praised the originality and quality of the names (and there are many, many made-up names in this double trilogy! That's what you get when you have the time to invent three languages! *Grins*)!

Obviously, this story is very personal and heartfelt. You get a piece of this story, you get a piece of me as raw as I come. I don't normally post replies to my own topics, but this story and your feedback have made this an exception. Thank you again.

In His name,

John Jude Farragut

[Rachel E.]

John,

This story has potential. I just posted on your other thread, and you can refer to what I said there. But honestly, I think you've got a lot of possiblities here. I'd like to see what more can be done with this. And if you truly feel that this is inspired by God, then go for it! and God bless!

[Carol Jane]

Thank you WhiteDragon47/John for the response. :)

I think I need to read up on prologues!

Three languages? (!!!!!) Wow! Now you're sounding like Tolkein (sorry if I've misspelled his name!). He created an entire world with all the generations to go with it, plus the elven language. And I'm sure your character list is really lonnnnggggg!

And you've written a "dozen or so books"? Another Wow! No wonder you've got good command over your written words. I do believe that experience is the best teacher and we all know that we've about got to be English majors to be a good writer. That's been a struggle with me and my dangling participles! Ha!

As some has said on another thread, they need to have a title before they begin……well, I really don't worry about the title right away. In fact, sometimes I'm quite a ways into a story before the title comes to me. Every writer has their own methods of putting it all on paper.

I've a friend that starts in the middle of her stories (that blows my mind) and then works around it. I could see doing that in a murder mystery, though.

In winding this up, I'm sooo glad you've not given up! Give us a tidbit every now and then…LOL

YoursInGoodWriting,
Carol Jane :)

[Tay]

Hey White Dragon, this piece you wrote was quite good. I love fantasy/sci-fi and am so excited they have a forum here for it. I really enjoyed your dragon's and the suffering the wolve was going through to reveal the information. Do you have any more to it as i am very intrigued by it. I am new to the site as well.......

[P.K.mama]

I really enjoyed reading this piece. Your prologue made me wonder what was going to happen next. Keep writing. About being an English major making you a better writer I don't know that it is true. I have taken many English courses in college but still can not master the dangling participle, or any of the other machanics of English. lol I worked at a newspaper for a while and this problem irritated me alot. My Editor said that was what he was for.
If only book editors felt the same was. Ha Ha.
Can't wait to read more!