T M Cart
04-26-2008, 03:18 PM
In the Pacific Northwest, it is generally accepted that there is nothing worse than sitting in Seattle traffic during rush hour. Yesterday was no different. With each passing minute, my feelings of powerlessness increased as my car moved forward at a snail's pace. My appeals to God for increased speed went unheeded. My agitation soared. Still, it would be 2 1/2 hours before we travelled the seemingly endless 40 miles to our destination. How could I possibly have known that I would be sitting in the worst back up so far this year? Fortunately for me, Jack was the forgiving sort.
He made it a daily habit to give grace to those who were undeserving. Well, I certainly needed it yesterday. It seemed as though the entire universe was against me getting there on time. There were many circumstances to consider beyond the traffic: Finding a babysitter that was okay watching children with chicken pox, finding someone to cover me at work, finding a gas station, finding a Starbucks so I could wake up. All of it contributed to my impending tardiness. I was a mess. However, we finally arrived. As we approached the entrance, an old friend we hadn't seen in a while exited the building. One look from her...and I knew. I was too late; Jack was gone. We missed him by 20 minutes.
The email said a couple of days...not a couple of hours. As I hurried into the hospital, feelings of insurmountable guilt washed over me.
What if I hadn't stopped for coffee?
What if traffic hadn't been so bad?
What if the kids didn't have chicken pox?
Jack looked peaceful. More than most, he had carried a supernatural confidence about where he was going. Even in the final months, his chief concern was for his wife and daughter. Indeed, he taught me a great deal about courage, faith and what it really means to be a man of God.
Even though I knew he was no longer there, I held his hand and prayed. I asked him and God to forgive me...but not for being 20 minutes late. I asked forgiveness for not being around more often in general. Jack's final lesson to me was about communicating love on a daily basis, not just on the day of the test. 20 minutes has taken on a new meaning for me. It has reminded me of how selfish and self-involved I can be. For whatever reason, God didn't want me to be there on time. We will miss him.
Please pray for Jacks family. They need emotional and financial support.
And Jack, my brother, I know where you are...and like you always said; I know you are dancing.
T M Cart
www.truthinministry.org
He made it a daily habit to give grace to those who were undeserving. Well, I certainly needed it yesterday. It seemed as though the entire universe was against me getting there on time. There were many circumstances to consider beyond the traffic: Finding a babysitter that was okay watching children with chicken pox, finding someone to cover me at work, finding a gas station, finding a Starbucks so I could wake up. All of it contributed to my impending tardiness. I was a mess. However, we finally arrived. As we approached the entrance, an old friend we hadn't seen in a while exited the building. One look from her...and I knew. I was too late; Jack was gone. We missed him by 20 minutes.
The email said a couple of days...not a couple of hours. As I hurried into the hospital, feelings of insurmountable guilt washed over me.
What if I hadn't stopped for coffee?
What if traffic hadn't been so bad?
What if the kids didn't have chicken pox?
Jack looked peaceful. More than most, he had carried a supernatural confidence about where he was going. Even in the final months, his chief concern was for his wife and daughter. Indeed, he taught me a great deal about courage, faith and what it really means to be a man of God.
Even though I knew he was no longer there, I held his hand and prayed. I asked him and God to forgive me...but not for being 20 minutes late. I asked forgiveness for not being around more often in general. Jack's final lesson to me was about communicating love on a daily basis, not just on the day of the test. 20 minutes has taken on a new meaning for me. It has reminded me of how selfish and self-involved I can be. For whatever reason, God didn't want me to be there on time. We will miss him.
Please pray for Jacks family. They need emotional and financial support.
And Jack, my brother, I know where you are...and like you always said; I know you are dancing.
T M Cart
www.truthinministry.org