Query Letter Blues...

[wgjones3]

It's that time again... query letter time. YAY!

Anyway, Roz emailed me a really good list of suggestions on writing a query. For the most part, I'm comfortable with it, but there are two or three things I'm just snagged at.

For starters, how am I supposed to condense the storyline into a blurb? Roz mentioned the Bethany House requirements that the blurb be 40 words--they rejected me last year, though, but is 40 words the industry norm? The last blurb I was somewhat happy with was something like 185 words. I'm working on a new one now, but I can barely get my thoughts straight in 40 words.

Secondly, how do you classify a book? My book isn't a thriller in the purest sense. It's not a romance, either. It's definately not end-times. Stylistically, it combines elements of romance and intrige, but to me, it's just a work of contemporary fiction. It's not genre (I don't think). I wrote it in the style of a Left Behind book or a Frank Peretti novel. Is contemporary fiction with a mix of inqrige, suspense, and romance considered acceptable? Also, one of the characters goes through a salvation experience, while another turns from God and then back to God through the course of the story. Do I push this aspect in the query letter as well? If so, how? Do I say that the story has a strong gospel message that's integral to the plot? Or do I sneak it in elsewhere.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[Mr. Otis]

You might take a look at Randy Ingermanson's website. His "Snowflake Process" offers a methodical, if perhaps a bit mechanical, method for developing a cogent outline for a novel, from which a brief, one-paragraph description can be developed.

Getting it down to 40 words is tough. Paring that down to a 15-word sentence is even tougher. But that's basic marketing--you only have a few seconds to hook the reader, unless your name is "Brown", "Grisham", "Collins", or "King".

The URL: http://www.rsingermanson.com/html/on_writing.html

[wgjones3]

Thank you very much Mr. Otis--both for the link and the perspective.

[Mr. Otis]

I'm going through the same process for the novel I'm working on. When I got to the part of the "snowflake" that says, "one sentence summary of plot", I had to step back and really think about what in tarnation the book was really about.

Which, I think, is the point.

I wanted to write paragraphs! Pages, even! Surely my sweat and tears were worth no less! How could he expect me to reduce my months of labor into fifteen stinkin' words?

Then I thought about my approach to new books from unknown authors when I'm in a bookstore. If the blurb doesn't grab me in a line or two, it goes back on the shelf.

It's also possible that a plot that can't be reduced to a 15-word blurb may be too complex to hold a reader all the way through anyway. Just a thought.

[wgjones3]

Well, I've got my 15 word blub, but it sounds rather boring. I'll see what you think.

A rookie cop and a fledgling reporter risk everything to save a child prophet’s life.

[Merry]

Sir:

If you don't mind unsolicited advice. While your tag line sounds fine, perhaps the way to make it even more compelling would be to consider words which best describes the brokeness of the characters, as we are all a bit more attracted to things we understand, and we are curious about how such brokeness came about. For example, you describe the cop as 'rookie.' People who have never been police officer's may not have a feel for what that means, but if he is described as 'lonely' or whatever may be troubling him, we have a greater understanding of his plight and have cause to wonder how this came to be.

Even with mediocre changes like , "a lonely cop and a desperate reporter risk everything to save a mysterious child's life," still has the effect of raising questions, which, especially in ones tag line, is what you want to do.

Hope that helps.

Merrrry :D

[Mr. Otis]

Is the child a real prophet? Why is the child in danger? Who stands to lose if the child dies (besides the child, of course)?

Here's the one I used for my first novel (comments welcome):
As Armageddon looms, terrorists strike--and a young boy in Iowa gets an e-mail from God.

[wgjones3]

Thanks for the suggestions Merrry. I can definately relate to what you're saying about broken people. I think you nailed it with the rewrite.

Mr. Otis, that pitch line sounds very interesting.

[Merry]

Ooooh! I like it! Nice tag, Mr. Otis.
Hope it helped, Mr. Jones.

Merrry :D

[waterfallbooks]

Romantic suspense is big right now, so marketing your book that way may work.

The blurb suggested is good, though you'll still want to develop your paragraph summary. Randy's site also has a book proposal which may give you some tips.

Try reading books similar to yours, and include comparisions in your query. Prodigy by Alton Gansky (I believe) and Blessed Child by Bill Bright and Ted Dekker would be good places to start.

Katie

[Mr. Otis]

Thanks for the kind words! We'll find out in a few months if I guessed right.

[wgjones3]

What I ended up doing was rewording my pitch-line into a question and using that as the opening line of my query. Instead of saying, a cop and a reporter give up their careers, I have, "What could inspire a cop and a reporter to give up their careers...?" Which leads into an introduction of the characters and the plot, which itself leads into a slightly more detailed explaination of the plot and resolution. Then onto the genre (I put that it combined elements of romance, suspence, and action, and that it was written with an emphasis on character development to appeal to fans of several genres within the Christian fiction market). Then a little bit about myself, and just to show that I did my homework, I explained why I chose the particular publisher I did and complimented the fiction aquisition editor on his own personal website (since I had to look it up to figure out the editor's gender).

I've already had one person look it over for me and she seemed to think that it was fairly decent--thanks Roz. I've got one more person to send it to for an opinion and then I'm gong to send this out and use it as a template for future queries. I even came up with a fairly efficient letterhead that I like.

Thanks everyone for their help, especially Mr. Otis for pointing out that site and Roz for hooking me up with all the great advice and proofing the letter for me.

[wgjones3]

And I just slipped the query into the mailbox for a 3:45 p.m. CST pickup. One down, a bunch more to go. :D

[Merry]

Good Luck, Mr. Jones!

Merry

[waterfallbooks]

Your query sounds great - especially the question hook.

Just curious though - was the editor's name Terry Whalin?

Katie

[wgjones3]

Yeah. Why do I get the feeling there's a bad, bad story coming up?

[waterfallbooks]

Not too bad of a story, though it did end with a rejection letter. I just thought you might like to know that the publisher's only doing six fiction titles a year, and they have several series going.

Katie

[wgjones3]

Yeah, I knew they only published six books a year. In fact, that's even mentioned on Mr. Whalin's website. I was afraid you were going to tell me that they were a scam or something.

I don't know if I mentioned it here or not, but that first one was the rought part. I'll use that as a template for all the others that I'll send out. If worse comes to worse, at least I've learned a little more about the craft.