Guilt and Time Management

[Amica]

Does anyone else go through this?

There are so many things to do during any given day, and they *all* need to be done, that you end up paralyzed and aren't able to do any of them?

Or worse, when you settle down to accomplish *one* thing that needs to be done, you're overwhelmed with guilt over all the other things that need to be done?

Those things that advertise that you can accomplish things -- weight loss, tidy houses, etc. -- in "just minutes a day!" ... I HATE those! Because it's just One More Thing that has to be done Every Single Day. And even though I know I *should* do it, like taking vitamins or working out, I still don't because I just can't fit it in among all the *other* things I have to get done in a single day.

For example: right now while I'm typing this, I know that I should be working on my filing system and filing the stacks of papers that have grown on my desk. I should also be working on query letters, researching reviewers and agents to send them to, outlining my next book, putting away the groceries, doing some food prep for the week, making some jewelry, researching possible places to sell my jewelry, paying some bills, filling out some paperwork for the State, and checking my email.

That's not even touching all the housework that I have to do and maintain Every Single Day, and if I let it slip even once, it all goes to hell within a day or so. I'm "housework-challenged," I guess. :rolleyes: And my husband (who now works full time) does as much as he can, but he doesn't really have time to help at all during the week so it's all on me.

I can never sit down to do something that I know I should do, without being bombarded with thoughts about everything ELSE I should be doing. Does anyone else have this problem? How do you deal with it?

[Tarin]

I couldn't tell from your post if lack of organization is contributing to the problem. But may I suggest that you work out a daily schedule, allotting time to each necessary task? Prioritize so that the most important things get accomplished first. And don't stress out over the little things that don't get done. Don't sweat the small stuff. As long as the important tasks are getting done, the rest will wait (forever if necessary).

[Tamera]

I plan my time well, because when I don't this happens to me. I have an ongoing to do list with everything I need to do. Then I have a schedule. For instance, I schedule a time for housework. Whenever it's time for housework, I start on the housework items of my to do list. When housework time is over, I go to the next item on the schedule, say writing, and do the same. Then I don't feel guilty about what I didn't get done. I'll do it the next time housework is scheduled.

One thing I would caution you on, don't overload your schedule and schedule some free time. And if something comes up that you can't stick to the schedule, don't beat yourself up. Start again tomorrow. Remember, any progress is better than no progress.

There is therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ, Jesus. Romans 8:1

[Phy]

Time management is a misnomer. There is only self management.

[Amica]

Maybe that's the problem. I'm not managing myself well. Thanks, that's encouraging.

No, seriously, I'm finding that there literally isn't enough time in the day for all the little things that I'm supposed to be doing every day. Prioritizing things only works with time-sensitive items on the list -- what about the daily maintenance ones? The ones that can certainly slip from day to day, but that if you let slip for too long, can cause real damage?

Okay, silly example: flossing. It takes five minutes out of your day, and if you miss a day, the world won't end. But if you miss too many days, then you're talkin' gum disease and cavities. So do you work out a sort of rotation, where you floss every third day so you don't get too far behind, or what?

It's a silly, trivial example, and y'all can feel free to laugh at me. But the fact remains that there're a gazillion of these sorts of things every day, and how do you know which ones to concentrate on, and how long you can ignore the other ones for?

My husband thinks I'm going through a minor depressive episode. That may certainly be true. But i can't seem to get a handle even on the little things that have to happen every day, much less the big things!

Any suggestions, hints, tips for managing one's time? Or even oneself, for that matter?

[ProfessorAlan]

... there literally isn't enough time in the day for all the little things that I'm supposed to be doing every day. "supposed to" be doing? Or "choosing" to do?

... I can't seem to get a handle even on the little things that have to happen every day, much less the big things! There are some basic organization tips & skills ... I am a list-maker myself and scheduler, and a pretty good organizer. Looking ahead, knowing what deadlies and commitments are coming, that is what helps me det things done, one day at a time.

[Tarin]

I ran across this article (http://msn.careerbuilder.com/custom/msn/careeradvice/viewarticle.aspx?articleid=1298&SiteId=cbmsnhp41298&sc_extcmp=JS_1298_home1&GT1=23000)on MSN this morning. Although it's geared more toward overload in the workplace, I thought some of the suggestions might be helpful to you.

[Amica]

Thanks, everyone. I think my mindset of being overwhelmed is basically just a symptom of my depression, as my husband pointed out.

I finally broke down and shared this with him, and he helped me prioritize some things and throw some others out completely. So yes, there are some things I "should" be doing, but I am *choosing* to concentrate on other things right now. I know I do have poor time-management skills, but with the help of Mozilla Sunbird and a house work schedule, I'm starting to do a little better.

Mozilla Sunbird is the free, Mozilla answer to MS Outlook. It's a scheduling software that you can set up to alert you of different things throughout the day, and it's a *lifesaver!* I get a little "bing!" and a popup window to remind me to exercise, take my vitamins, work on that day's chore, spend 15 minutes editing -- everything! I highly recommend it, especially for ADD folks like me.

I'm not "there" yet, but I'm no longer desperate and riddled with guilt. :)

[Timber Wolf]

I recollect a book called "Clutter's Last Stand." The author was on Focus on the Family some many years ago. YOUr local library might have it, and it's a quick read. You might want to take a look at it.

I know it seems like "yet one more chore to do," but I'll leave it to you as to whether you want to look at it.

Personal Note:
My sis-in-law as had prblms w/ this since I have known her 13 yrs ago. It has caused her multiple prblms simply because she was never willing to admit she had the prblm. So maybe the admitting of it is the first step.


EDIT:

I just read your last post. I've been fighting depression off-and-on, for yrs, and probbaly more than I have realized. So I certainly understand the "I don't have enough energy to do (fill in the blank) right now" prblm.