I have anxiety and OCD

[rebel_chick]

I have recently been diagnosed with anxiety and OCD, but I have suffered practically for as long as I can remember, in one way or another. My doctor is changing some of my medicine around, and I hate the way it feels.... like I am on a rollercoaster. I suffer so many silly fears, yet they almost paralize me at times. I am afraid to take the medicine, i don't want it to keep me from "feeling" (though, TRUST ME, I have ALWAYS "felt" things and never felt close to not having feelings, just a irrational fear) but feel even worse when not on medicine. I have a hard time realizing just because I still have anxiety does NOT mean I don't have faith. That would be like telling someone dying of heart trouble that they don't have faith since their heart gave out on them. Anyway... didn't mean to ramble on. Just desire your prayers.

[Rebecca]

Rebel_chick,

I'm sorry to hear what a difficult time you're having. You are certainly in my prayers.

KRS

[lynnmosher]

Rebel_chick, I, too, am sorry you are having such a hard time with this. I understand it can be quite difficult. I'm sure that taking your meds will help keep you stabilized. You can count on my prayers.

[jacks girl]

I thought I posted here. oh well

Praying as always Chick. You know that we both have a lot of the same problems so keep looking for the good days.

jacks

[Derby]

rebel chick

What is the story of your chosen name?

I see that you know that you are better with medicines than without them - there is just this horrible period waiting for their effect to stabilise - how long have you been told to expect this to be?
Have you found ways of distracting your mind from your problems? I find that music helps, also getting away from my four walls, going to McDonalds or somewhere I can stomach where there is plenty of life around me, also reading or writing. What are your methods?
Would it help to mention just one of your 'silly fears' ? Perhaps this is not a good place for it.

I am rambling here and may be no help at all; may the Lord give you a time of refreshing

Derby

[jacks girl]

Hi Derby.

I'm Rebel's cousin. I also have OCD. There is a test somewhere on line to see if you have it of not. I took it and they told me to seek immediate help. LOL. Yea right like I can afford help.

One think with OCD is when I'm home alone and it's bed time I can't seem to be sure that I locked the doors. I will go back and check them at least 2 times sometimes more. I have to make sure no one is in the house with me. Sometimes if i've not even been out of the house.

I used to leave my dogs alone and I had a check list of about 20 things i had to check before i could leave them. Ranging from giving them water, checking the stove all 5 burners to see they were off. Were doors shut to rooms where they can't go when im not home. Did I leave a heater plugged in. will they be to hot or to cold. I would check the air conditioner about 10 times and finally it got to be such a burden I just dont leave them alone.

This is a small taste of what it is like to have OCD. thoguht i would tell you. Not sure when Rebel will be on line again.

Jacks

[rebel_chick]

Derby, My name is after the Tolsia Rebels, a high school I have been a huge fan of for a long time. In reference as to how long I was told it would take for my medicine to stabilize, up to 1 year for a total effect. Depends on how many times they have to "up" it. After the "final" agreed dosage, 2-6 months to know "for sure" how the medicine fully affects me. Then, if my doc isn't happy with the results, here we go again. I hope I don't lose my mind! lol No, I take that back. I know I won't lose my mind, but it will be hard, especially at times.

[Derby]

Rebel chick

Hi!

Quote: My name is after the Tolsia Rebels, a high school I have been a huge fan of for a long time.

I went to Thornhill Junior then Highbury Grammar but they don’t have fans but that was over 40 years ago. How does being a fan of a school work, do you go to functions, receive a magazine, join a school website, go to sports fixtures etc? Were you a student at the school? Put my silly questions down to me not being American. Does ‘rebel’ come from sport or social attitude or something else?
I understand ‘chick’ – hurrah.

Let me make an amateurish suggestion. You have to appease your fears whenever they arise – when you have no fears awaiting appeasement you can get on with what you really want to do. This causes you a lot of suffering.

My idea is to replace that suffering with a different suffering – it doesn’t sound appealing I admit. Choose one little thing, a tiny thing – with your cousin’s example in mind – choose a door that you have to check that you have closed. Just on this one tiny chosen thing –
Stand Your Ground.

‘Have I closed that door?’
‘Yes, I will not check it.’

I know – easy for me to say. You see people appeasing their children just to have some peace – do they get peace – they do not! It snowballs.

Neil Armstrong – one small step for man, a giant leap for mankind.

Hope this helps, best wishes, Derby

[jacks girl]

Good point derby and that is what i do or i do the list. I will count off on my fingers as i check the doors. Any little bit that we can get helps. Only if it's one thing, that is one less thing to worry about.

jacks

[writegirl1949]

Rebel Chick:

I understand completely about the conflicts you face, especially the medication versus faith.

I suffered from chronic depression for many years. Panic attacks and anxiety piggy backed onto the depression and I was taking a variety of medications. God's healing did come, but not overnight. I'm sure He could've healed me overnight had he so chosen.

Here's the one thing I know for certain ... as my faith grew through reading His word and obedience, my depression, anxiety and panic attacks lessened. The depression is totally gone. The other two come back occasionally and I do take a low dose med for them. The more I focused on my Creator, the more my faith grew and the more Truth came to reside within me.

I'm not claiming it to be a miracle cure -- just living as my Father wants me to live.

I pray God will work in your life.

Blessings, Francine

[rebel_chick]

Thanks for sharing. Sometimes it helps to be reassured you are not alone in your struggle, and to know that victory awaits!!

[jacks girl]

Me and Rebel came up with a cute little thing. Where we doubt ourselves because of our OCD I ask her a question and said I'm going to OCDU LOL. I wasn't sure what i was worrying about was really worth worrying about so i said I'm going to OCDU and I ask her and she said that the problem I was worrying about was truly worth some concern LOL

So next time you are in doubt just find a friend and say I'm gonna OCDU lol

Yes and thanks much for sharing.

Jacks

[Tommie Lyn]

Francine, I'm so thankful your approach worked for you. It didn't for me. As a matter of fact, God became one of my obsessions, constant Bible reading, meditation and prayer, I was at church every time the doors were opened. I ended up having to back away from everything.

I still have problems with OCD, anxiety and depression, but nothing like I did. And, strangely, it seems that just the fact of getting older is what mitigated my symptoms quite a bit.

[writegirl1949]

TommieLynn:

I know exactly what you are talking about. In fact, my obsession to have a close relationship with God actually deepened my depression BUT that was because it was an obsession, I think. And, while I truly believe God WAS talking to me, I wasn't obedient. I didn't become a Christian until I was 31 so I had no foundation for my relationship. I think I expected instant intimacy with God and when I didn't get what I wanted, I was disappointed. Now, there were a bunch of other things going on in my life.

I'm thankful that God was faithful and while it took a while (about 25 years), I have that intimate relationship.

And yes, some of the problems do lessen as we get older.

One more thing. Charles Stanley had a wonderful teaching on his radio program yesterday (1/9) on anxiety and peace. That was part one; part two will be broadcast today. You can listen on line. Just go to www.intouch.org and click on broadcasts (I think) and it gives you the option of TV or radio. He's one of the great teachers, in my opinion.

This is a great thread.

Blessings, Francine

[pajarita_deDios]

I have recently been diagnosed with anxiety and OCD, but I have suffered practically for as long as I can remember, in one way or another. My doctor is changing some of my medicine around, and I hate the way it feels.... like I am on a rollercoaster. I suffer so many silly fears, yet they almost paralize me at times. I am afraid to take the medicine, i don't want it to keep me from "feeling" (though, TRUST ME, I have ALWAYS "felt" things and never felt close to not having feelings, just a irrational fear) but feel even worse when not on medicine. I have a hard time realizing just because I still have anxiety does NOT mean I don't have faith. That would be like telling someone dying of heart trouble that they don't have faith since their heart gave out on them. Anyway... didn't mean to ramble on. Just desire your prayers.

Rebel,
I've suffered from anxiety and OCD almost my entire life and wasn't diagnosed until I was 17 (I'm now 22), when it hit me so hard I was practically confined to my home.

Hang in there, I know I'm coming' in a little late on this conversation but trust me, once you and your Doctor find the right medication and it settles in, you'll do fine. It's strange because it doesn't happen over night, but just one day you'll do something that you haven't done in a while, maybe something you could never do while having a panic attack, and all of a sudden you'll realize that you feel different. Don't worry about the side affects, the medication won't make you "not feel" that's not what they're designed to do (with the exception of Xanax and Prozac).

At first I was put on Paxil, and after a good reaction to it, I stayed on it for 3 years. I only explored the possibility of switching medications when I began to realize that Paxil had "helped" me gain a few extra LBS. I eventually settled on Effexor and am happy with it.

I will eventually wean from any medication at all. Now after the years and having been educated on what is happening in my head, I have more insight than I did back when a panic attack could paralyze me to my seat. It also gave me an emotional crutch so I could see through the fog.

Here's my favorite verse that was etched into a medallion my sister handed down to me after I began treatment:
"For God has not given us the fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." I believe it's Tim 4:1. It has become the mantra that I repeat to myself whenever I feel fear start to get in my way.

Also, I want you to know that I was scared of the medication too. I was still a teen and I felt that people would classify me as "mentally ill". I didn't want my siblings to find out, because I was afraid they'd wonder about me. I cried the entire time at the Doctors visit, and the entire time at the Doctor to whom I was referred by the original. I think you should know that I tell people all the time that God saved me, and when they ask how I say He allowed Doctors to discover the miracle of the medication that I take.

I hope this helps, if you have any questions I hope you'll feel free to message me.

I'll be praying for you - Laura

[Daniel]

I was diagnosed with clinical depression, OCD, and a few *ahem* others, when I was about 17 or 18. I'm 28 now! I'm gettin' old, I feel it in my joints. NO really, I do. I was born with some kind of joint problems I found out as well. Look ma, I'm flawed!

My OCD: I have to have some kind of pattern in my typing when I hit the keys, some times the s, e, f, comma key, and even the space key. Drives me batty. And yes, there are other keys as well. I also "have" to touch things a certain way, like the direction of my skin and all that junk. Am I on medication? No, used to be though. The medication caused more problems, so I just have to deal with it. As far as getting closer to God and made things better, naw. I know that sounds crude to say but God gives me strength to be able to handle things and encourages me, not makes my "problems" go away. "To each their own."

So I came up with a wild eye theory! OCD, ADHD, and all those others, restless leg syndrome, etc, are symptoms of the way our culture have driven us to a point of self-seclusion. Try that one for your brain.

[JMK]

My nine year old granddaughter was diagnosed with OCD (about 3% of children age 9-12 "get" it). She's on medication, which helps (I don't know how it helps, since she still has the fears and compulsions. Maybe it helps her contain the compulsions. My daughter gave her a children's book to read about it, but she (granddaughter) is afraid to read it because she might become contaminated. Go figure. All I know to do is pray. God has a great plan for her life.

[Daniel]

I am sorry to hear of your granddaughter. All you can do is wait and pray. But God has her in his hands. Don't forget, God uses those which the world looks down upon, or that which is weak. We soon find that those who have these "problems", are the most amazing.