Adoptive Mommy

[James E. Tate]

I'm new on this site, but as I understand it, I can post a poem here. If not maybe I'll catch on soon. Below is a short Christmas poem. James Tate

Adoptive Mommy

“Where’s my Mommy?” fretted a fearful voice,
as the little blind girl cried.
She couldn’t understand why her mommy was gone,
no matter how hard she tried.

It was only her third Christmas,
And Mommy was the only gift she sought.
Searching the war-torn streets, she said,
“Oh, Mommy!” as a gentle arm she caught.

A soldier girl from a foreign land
felt a tug on her uniform sleeve,
And said as she reached down with heart and hand,
“I’ll be your Mommy this Christmas Eve.”

— James E. Tate ©

[lynnmosher]

James, Since this is a new section, I'm assuming you meant this for the showcase and not for critique. I think this is a very sweet poem, very touching. I enjoyed reading it. !thumbsup!

[Keith Wallis]

James I've moved this to its own thread - it is not approriate to attach it as a post to another thread. At the forum entrance to all the forums - where you'll see each thread title there's a button marked 'New Thread' - that's your access to posting your pieces.

[James E. Tate]

Thanks, Keith, for moving my poem, Adoptive Mommy to a thread of its own. As I navigate the site I'll catch on.
James

[Ebubu]

Hi Tate, nice poem. I think you rounded it up too quickly though. The story is beautiful, but you could haave given it more body and given it a soft landing as it's end. Beautiful work

[James E. Tate]

Hello Ebubu, thanks for your feedback on Adoptive Mommy. I'll look it over for possible enhancements and more body. James

[dlreed]

I loved it!!!! I agree with Ebubu.. it left me wanting more!!!!
But this is not a critique thread is it?
Beautifully written and I could feel the lump in my throat beginning which is always a sign of greatness in my book! :)
Make em cry and you have touched their heart with your pen. Nothing could be better for a writer!

[Rachel E.]

James,

Great going! I abree with Ebubu...longer is better. Gave me the shivers...delight! Great job! Very impressive...and VERY beautiful.

Rachel

[RooPalmer]

beautiful poem, James. Has a heart warming appeal that we need.
Roo