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ChristChild
12-07-2007, 02:24 AM
Author's note: Please read the whole short story before judging it. It is a Christian work.

Headline: Jesus Dies in Heaven

Satan couldn't believe it. He had been trumped at the cross. Jesus had set the path for redemption to the Father for all the humans who would believe, but now something extraordinary had happened, and he just couldn't believe it!

“Phineas, tell me the news again!” Satan instructed his demonic messenger.

“Dark Lord, I have told you twice what has happened.”

“Make it three times or I'll demote you to resident demon of a pub in Amish country!”

“Okay, okay—Jesus was working on those mansions He promised His followers and He just clutched His holy chest and keeled over. All heaven has gone awry and the Father and Spirit have been thrown into a turmoil, as they were Three-In-One until recently.”

“This is impossible, Phineas!”

“I know that, but it is so... somehow. I don't understand it either.”

Satan stepped back from Phineas and began pacing. He finally snapped his fingers, pointed at Phineas, and then reasoned, “He took away the keys to death, hell, and the grave. Jesus took their sins on Himself! Now that He has truly died... are you sure, Phineas?”

“Yes, Dark Lord.”

“Okay then, shouldn't dominion over man fall back to me--legally? He can't give His followers eternal life, as He couldn't keep it for Himself. Jesus can't fulfill all the prophecies related to the church and Israel in the last days when the beast and the anti-Christ will be ascendant. He cannot return to the Earth again. He has lost His right to be the Advocate, Judge, and King, hasn't he, Phineas?”

Phineas looked bewildered, but then he thought a few moments and finally agreed, “I would think so. Since you still appear before the Godhead to bring accusations against men, maybe you should go there now and see what all this means.”

A dark, brooding look spread across Satan's face. He thought a moment more and came to a conclusion, causing the dark look to morph into a huge smile. He finally exclaimed, “I have won, Phineas! God's plan has failed! I have won! Do you hear me—I have won!”

Phineas had never seen his dark master this excited. He stood aside as Satan charged forward with purpose, headed to the throne of heaven, no doubt. The evil lord soon became a blur and was gone. The being who was once the highest cherub and leader of the angelic host of heaven, now sought the place he had always longed for—the very throne of God.

With mind-numbing speed Satan rose to the realm of God in the north, to heaven itself. He swept past the outer angelic guard, who milled about in confusion and wept openly. They did not challenge him. They only looked up as he passed by on his way to God's throne. Satan landed at the base of the huge dais that God's crystal throne rested upon. All he could see in the Father's place was a wavering cloud within which the Father and the Holy Spirit were intermixed. Two aspects of the Godhead, with the Third missing. Then Satan noticed the corpse of the physical body of the Son laying on the dais with one angel standing near Him. It was Michael, of course. Satan made his way up the steps and stood near to his heavenly counterpart in rank.

“Michael?” Satan asked, as the angel just stared down at Jesus' body. Michael hadn't bothered to look up as Satan approached.

Michael didn't look up now, but he responded with a question, “Satan, how could this happen?”

Satan didn't expect that. He expected the Archangel to suspect him of having something to do with this.

“I... I... don't know, Michael. I am as shocked as you.”

Michael looked up at Satan finally, with tears in his eyes. His faced gained a great intensity, but Satan could see that it wasn't directed at him. Michael finally grabbed Satan by the arms and looked directly in his eyes and asked with fervor, “Satan, how does God die!? Even just one aspect of His triune nature?”

Satan shook off Michael's grip and exclaimed, “I don't know! I don't know--but I have won! Don't you see, Michael? All Jesus accomplished is meaningless now! I have won back my rights and powers that He crushed!”

Michael looked at Satan, anger and pity at war on his face. He said nothing, turned, and looked back down at the lifeless body of the Lord. Other angels were milling about the throne in confusion. God's special creatures that tended His throne were flying about aimlessly.

Satan looked on the surreal scene for a few moments more and finally decided that it was time--time to make his claim to the throne of God! Satan ran near to the Father and Holy Spirit, who appeared in the midst of the roiling thundercloud of energy beyond the comprehension of mere men, and even beyond Satan and the angels' ability to totally understand.

“Hear me, my former God! You have failed in Your plan! Jesus is dead—dead I say! Everything is undone! You have lost!” Then a thought struck Satan. The last time Jesus died, He had arisen three days and nights afterward. Satan suddenly became very angry and asked God, “Is He going to rise again in three days? Is this some joke at my expense!?”

Michael looked over at Satan, and then rushed to his side.

Satan turned to see that his enemy stood near him, but Michael now looked up toward God with an expectant expression on his face. It seemed that the Archangel had not considered that Jesus may rise again and that this was some kind of joke on God's part.

The dark lord turned back to the Father and Holy Spirit and yelled, “Well!?”

A few moments more passed before an odd, slurred voice proceeded from God. “Not... a joke. Falling apart, I Am.”

Michael's face fell, and then he did—to his knees. His head soon rested on the dais, as he wept loudly.

“Me, me, me,” Satan said with glee, “Give me the throne and step aside! I am the greatest of Your creation and have great wisdom! I will rule, as You try to... uh... pull Yourself together... somehow.”

Lifting his head, Michael looked from God to Satan, and then back to God again, awaiting God's answer.

“It will... be as... you say, Satan. Take the... throne.” God decided.

“Noooooooooooooo!” Michael screamed, before falling on his face before the throne of God.

Satan was overjoyed. He approached the huge seat before him, as the roiling thundercloud that contained what was left of God, slowly shifted off the throne and to one side of the dais. Satan looked back at all the angels. They were all now prostrate on the ground, pulling at their hair. He found it a satisfying and amusing sight.

Satan spun his back to the Father's empty throne, and then sat down. Michael looked up at Satan, and then began beating his forehead on the hard dais, drawing angelic blood. Despite Satan's glee, he said, “Michael, Michael—don't be a spoilsport. You are so melodramatic.” Michael beat his head even more fiercely in response, causing Satan to laugh.

“I will rule now!” Satan shouted to all of heaven, causing all of the angels who were not focused on him, to finally look his way. “I will run all of creation and you shall worship me as you did God!” He heard the angels groaning and looking at him in anger, but they would do nothing, as God Himself had given Satan His throne. They would not disobey their former God, thus he would now take God's place. Satan laughed at the delicious thought of it all.

Suddenly God's condition changed—the roiling thundercloud began shrinking and changing colors. Satan and the others looked on in wonder.

“Satan... it is... almost time,” God said.

“Time for what?” Satan asked with hope in his voice, “Are you checking out—completely?”

All of heaven's denizens held their breath as the answer came.

“Yes.”

All of heaven groaned, as Satan laughed maniacally.

“It will be mine, all mine!” Satan exclaimed.

Michael went back to beating his head on the dais and many angels joined him.

Satan was still cackling when God spoke again. The roiling thundercloud was so small, Satan was taller than it was wide. What was left of God was in there somewhere. Satan heard as God said again, “Satan... it is... almost time.”

“You said that before. Go ahead and die already.”

“I will... soon, but you... must take it.”

“Take what, Your power?” Satan asked with desire in his voice.

“No... My power... is almost gone.”

Satan became angry, as he wanted whatever power it was that God held, since God did turn the throne over to him. He yelled in confusion, “If You don't have any power left, then what do You want me to take? You have already given me the throne!”

The cloud grew smaller until it was almost too small to see, as God told Satan, “You... must take... control... of everything.”

“I will!”

“You don't... understand. Now you... must hold it... all together.”

“What?”

“All of... My creation.” With those last words, God disappeared completely.

Satan looked back to Michael. A look of shock spread over both their faces. Satan knew he possessed no such power—the power to hold the universe and all of reality together. The power to keep each and every part of every atom in the universe in its proper place, and everything in its proper order.

Michael began looking about, which caused Satan to do the same. Satan could see the fabric of reality breaking down around him—literally. The fallen archangel and present dark lord reached out with every bit of his formidable power in an attempt to hold at least heaven together, but it was a vain attempt. It was like trying to extinguish the fire of the sun with a drop of water. He had no chance—none at all. Reality continued to come apart as Satan felt himself beginning to lose cohesion. He was literally melting and melding with nothingness, which was encroaching upon everyone and everything in the universe.

That was when Satan screamed, “Noooooooooooooo!”

Someone slapped him. Satan shot up into a seated position. He noticed that he had been lying on the floor of his own dwelling just before the slap. Phineas knelt next to him.

“Forgive me, Dark Lord, but you were screaming,” Phineas said.

Satan, incredibly disoriented, asked, “What? What is going on, Phineas?”

“You screamed out, so I slapped you across the face.”

“What?” Satan said with an extreme measure of confusion.

Phineas saw his dark lord's confused expression, so he explained, “You said you wanted to try this 'sleeping' that humans need to do, so you laid back on the floor here and used your considerable power to put yourself into that strange, human state. You must have also done that other thing the humans do.”

“You mean 'dreaming,' Phineas,” Satan said as he came back to reality.

“Yes, yes, Dark Lord! It appeared that you were doing something just inside of your mind.”

Satan arose and went over to the throne he had built for himself ages ago. He sat down in it, as he looked back to Phineas. He told him, “I fear God used my little experiment to tell me something. Remind me to never try this 'sleeping' again. It is very dangerous.”

“Yes, Dark Lord, but what did God tell you?”

At the question, Satan became incredibly angry. He yelled at Phineas, “That is none of your business! Now get out of my sight before I slap you much harder than you did me!”

Phineas left like a shot.

Satan sat alone on his self-made throne and answered Phineas' question in his own mind, “God showed me that if I could somehow win--I would still lose.” At that thought, Satan sat there brooding, in a dark mood, for a very long time.

Copyright(c)2007, D. Shane Burton

kshsj777
12-07-2007, 08:20 PM
This Is One Of The Most Hilarious Things I Have Read In My Life

ChristChild
12-07-2007, 08:42 PM
This Is One Of The Most Hilarious Things I Have Read In My Life

Thanks. :D I am glad you found it amusing, as I intended some of it to be that way. I also hope the deeper reality of Satan's place and God's power came through. :)

Shane

kshsj777
12-07-2007, 09:05 PM
It was funny precisely because it could never happen.

And you'd think Satan would realize he can't win, even if God ceased to exist!

lynnmosher
12-07-2007, 09:57 PM
This is superb! I bow to your expert fingers...

http://www.smileyx.com/smilies/2uvHqb22.gif

Really great job!

kshsj777
12-07-2007, 10:01 PM
LOL lynn!

Yes, great writing ChristChild! I loved it!

ChristChild
12-07-2007, 10:17 PM
:) Thanks to you both. You two have encouraged me with your responses.

I have submitted a couple of poems that are up.

I just submitted a suspense story and also a fantasy story that are not up yet.

Shane

kshsj777
12-07-2007, 10:24 PM
Cool! I'll check them out!

M. Lawrence
12-08-2007, 03:10 AM
Interesting. And disturbing. I don't think I've read anything quite like it before. In general, it was well-written. You did a good job with your dialog and your scenes.

I do have one suggestion: do you think you could do something about the whole "and it was all only a dream" ending? Maybe find another way to approach it while retaining the same story arc? The reason I say this is because it's a common writing trope that comes across as very clichéd these days. Maybe instead, Satan could be conducting an alternate reality experiment down in Hell or something along these lines?

Keep writing!

kshsj777
12-08-2007, 11:55 AM
I think in this case the story is unique and that the "dream ending" actually makes sense in this one, since there is no way God could ever die.

johnnyg67
12-14-2007, 12:36 AM
I've been away for several weeks, but Shane I have to hand it to you on a few points. First your title (though a little controversial) grabbed my attention as a title should. Then the story kept my attention enough to make me wonder where it was all going and that is a good thing too! I'm not an expert by any means, but I liked the way you used your imagination. Writing things like that can ruffle some feathers in some circles, however its easy to see your intentions and for what its worth, I think it was good!

ChristChild
12-15-2007, 04:13 PM
Thanks all, for the kind words and feedback. :)

M. Lawrence, I knew beforehand that the dreaming aspect was cliché, yet, as kshsj777 mentioned, it just fit so perfectly I had to use it. It was also not truly Satan's dream, but a message God was sending. I was hoping that the rest of the story would overshadow the somewhat cliché part.

And thanks, johnnyg67, for reading all the way through it until you could see my intentions. I'm glad you liked it. :)

M. Lawrence
12-15-2007, 06:09 PM
M. Lawrence, I knew beforehand that the dreaming aspect was cliché, yet, as kshsj777 mentioned, it just fit so perfectly I had to use it. It was also not truly Satan's dream, but a message God was sending. I was hoping that the rest of the story would overshadow the somewaht cliché part.


I understand. I thought through how else it could be done, and really, the dream story line is probably the most workable in terms of internal logic and consistency. After all, only Satan's mind could be twisted enough to imagine that two-thirds of the Godhead could actually happen or exist even for a nanosecond. (my brain hurts just trying to wrap my mind around that one!)

Besides, using cliché is just fine if you can pull it off with a strong enough storyline, as you pointed out.

One more thing: change "laying" to "lying" in this paragraph:

Someone slapped him. Satan shot up into a seated position. He noticed that he had been laying on the floor of his own dwelling just before the slap. Phineas knelt next to him.

kshsj777
12-15-2007, 06:55 PM
Yeah, M. Lawrence is right. If Jesus actually died, everything would cease to exist instantly, or rather, never would have existed at all (including Satan himself)

But since this is Satan's dream... and he obviously hasn't thought about that, or doesn't believe it, or whatever, "God" still exists long enough for him to take the throne. Of course it becomes a bad guy's nightmare when he ends up ceasing to exist anyway.

Really nice twist! Everything's going really good for the bad guy, and wham! Everything goes wrong for him!

Rebecca
12-15-2007, 08:12 PM
Please keep in mind that the showcase isn't for critiques. If you'd like to leave a brief comment on if you did/didn't enjoy the story, that's fine.

Thanks,
Rebecca

lynnmosher
12-15-2007, 08:30 PM
Rebecca, I'm going to post this here so you know what I'm referring to...Even though I did not critique, only left a comment, I did not realize this was in the showcase. Is there some other way of marking these? Or should I just pay closer attention?