Sharing My heart <3

[mama joyce]

Beloved in Christ:

We all have our crosses to bear I suppose, and experiences life deals us, and even something's we inadvertently bring upon ourselves with wrong decisions or choices...

I have made some real doozies...I am at a crossroads in my life now, where the younger part of my life was spent in pain and mistakes that caused a lot of growth, and maturity, and so, in my adult life, I took those life lessons, and used them to help others as well...Successfully I might add.

Sunday, my precious Papa will have been gone 4 years.He was my buddy, and my hero. My Golden Retriver,Max died 2 years prior, and quite frankly, I have left, my sister and my son, and no one else ......

Many people who frequent here, have some type of connection with family...I have brought many families together in my work, and managed to bridge the gap between God and Man over the years....ironic as it is, for myself, I have led a life very much alone in the companionship department.

I have busied myself with a massive amount of volunteer work with the homeless, disabled and elderly. I was teaching adult down syndrome in a day program and residential place for 16 years. I spent much of my time, in service...There were brief moments of utter loneliness, I felt, but it never lasted very long, because at those very times, I chose to build my relationship with God, even stronger...My spiritual side has evolved, and matured, and yet, I lack in the human companionship dept.

Now I would enjoy so much a companion/friend, to go for dinner with, pray with, enjoy a movie together, read the Bible together, etc. I am sorry to say this looks pretty grim, as my body is far spent, arthritis has taken my body over, and limitations have been set on me like never before...I have always been on the giving end of things, and am at my happiest, when I am giving...

So I am pretty much homebound, and looking for ways to connect to others, and maybe even extend my hand in friendship, or help in some way.....

It is nothing like connecting with people in person, like I am used to, but, it something to do anyway...I would also enjoy for God to send me some help, and have prayed about it..Up until now, I would NEVER think of asking for myself for help, BUT, its a very humbling experience, now, and I am asking ,actually crying out to God, to please do something, and if He sees fit, to send forth those to help me...I think in my mind, since especially men are such visual creatures, (no offense please), I would not stand a chance in meeting a nice companion, (friend) in the condition I am in. It would be a miracle for someone to look past the outer, and see my heart and soul...

I am a people person. I love to connect to people, offer hugs, my time, and rides to the grocery store, and doctors offices for free to those who are disabled or elderly. I can still do that much, Praise God!! I would enjoy the friendship of someone in person though, but,until that happens, I am resigned to the fact, for now anyway, to try and connect here....

Thank you for allowing me to share my heart with my Christian Family....

Much Love in Christ
Mama Joyce

[lynnmosher]

MamaJoyce, Is there anyone in your church with whom you can be friends? Can your church help at all? If no to these questions, you might think about finding a new church. Can financial help be had through other agencies? I just know there must be some kind of help out there that you haven't discovered yet. Please keep looking. And I'll keep praying! Be lifted up today by the thoughts and prayers of those here with deep concern and affection for you.

[MissyKay]

MamaJoyce,

From being so active to being almost homebound is a tramatic change... one I am well-familiar with. My heart goes out to you, my sister.

I, myself, am almost homebound due to physical difficulties. I completely understand how isolating it is. I also fully understand the dark thoughts that come, whispering that "no man is going to want..." (insert all depreciating things we say about ourselves here). It is not easy, when faced with such obstacles, to remain constantly optimistic.

Now for the good news: we have a mighty God, in Whom all things are possible! If it is His will, you will have a companion. He is able to provide.

This type of isolation draws you closer to Jesus than anyone who hasn't gone through it would believe. As I've struggled with this, He has become more than just my strength in name, He literally pulled me out of the pit that my anger, depression, and hopelessness had tossed me into.

He is more than sufficient. It's hard. I won't deny it. But He IS sufficient. It is possible to be joyful even in trying circumstances.

Please know that you will be in my prayers.

[mahatma]

Hi Joyce,
I have read your cry for help. I am sure you will find new friends soon, just open all possible doors! Like Lynn said, a church family should be of great help,
- maybe you can start a singles ministry!
- Have you tried christian friendship or dating sites?
- Maybe you can start a social club (a book club!!) or something in your hometown, I am sure you're not the only one who is looking for some good christian company. Last question, where do you live in CA?
Anyway, I am glad you're on CW, so we can encourage and if possible help you! :D

[tlm]

Do not give up hope!

My ex husband worked to successfully isolate me from friends and family. After 10 years I left him and focused on raising my son and put myself through college.

As others suggested, I did have to change churches though. I changed to a church that had a college and career for my son, but also found that it had 2 singles classes. One attracts mostly young singles. The other attracts mostly the old fogies like me. tee hee.

I am saying this to give you hope. I was so lonely I never thought I would have a friend again, so I focused on being my own best friend. That sounds crazy, but if I had really loved myself, I would have never allowed myself to get involved with an abusive husband. At one time I hated being alone with myself, but now it doesn't really bother me at all to go to a movie alone or even go to my favorite restaurant with a book in my hand.

God used the years that I spent in isolation to teach me to love myself. Now I feel I have the best of both worlds. I hope that for you, too. Reach out in your community and always take time to love yourself.

[mama joyce]

Thank you all for your love ,encouragement, and prayers, they mean a lot.

I live in Southern Calif , a suburb of Los Angeles , in the San Fernando Valley.

I have contacted a local fellowship that meets in a park close by me, and waiting to hear back from them...

I am stepping out here in many ways...

Now I wait, and be still Grow in TRUSTING God, and with my prayers and all of yours I am sure doors will be opening soon .....

I will keep you updated as we press in prayer here, and just wanted to say I LOVE YOU all so much for being so supportive and prayerful :D

Much love in Christ
Sister Joyce /Mama Joyce etc etc lol

[lynnmosher]

Yea! I am tickled pink, why they say that I don't know, but I am! I'm so glad to hear you contacted a church. I pray they return the call very soon! If not, call them again! !thumbsup!

[mama joyce]

Hi Lynn:

Well, I broke down and emailed a church nearby...

Sometimes it takes a little push in the tush to get me going :D

Hoping for a good connection here !thumbsup!

Keep the prayers coming, Please!!!

Thank you so much!!

Love in Christ
Joyce

[tlm]

Just remember, you may have to shop around to find a good fit. I don't buy the first pair of shoes I see. I try them on and see how they feel. I do the same with churches. That doesn't mean that one church is better than the other It is, well, like shoes. Nikes fit some people but for others, Reeboks are a better fit. Other people might stick with Keds.

Some people like traditional churches. Others feel that the contemporary service is a better fit--and so on.

Just don't give up!

[mama joyce]

Well hon I will not give up, I will not heavily pursue a fellowship though, I will try a couple of the new ones and see, but ultimately, my relationship with God is deeper than ever before , in spite of everything else going on in my life right now


God Bless you
thanks for praying and being so encouraging...

Love in Christ
mama joyce!thumbsup!

[mahatma]

I live in Ventura, which is not too far from the San Fernando Valley..... :D

[lynnmosher]

Oh, Joyce, as your relationship is stable with the Lord, that is so great…but maybe, just maybe, He has more for you but only if you connect with other believers, a place to serve and be encouraged and supported. How can your dream of a ranch be realized if it is not shared with others in the body? Maybe the very people God wants to bring into your life to help bring that vision to a reality are in one of those fellowships? You will never find out if you don't go...

In Hebrews 10, most of us follow verse 24, “Think of ways to encourage one another to outbursts of love and good deeds.” But many times, there are those who fail the next verse, “And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage and warn each other, especially now that the day of His coming back again is drawing near.”

I realize there are sometimes physical limitations, but this is where your relationships with others will be planted, blossom, and grow to fruitfulness. I know you depend on the Lord to lead you to that place of worship that He desires for you to join.

[mama joyce]

Mahatma
Gee that sounds wonderful, not too far :) You are a blessing sweet sister!
God bless you abundantly!

Love Joyce


Lynn
Yes, I am seeing and FEELING that more and more, sister, so I am reaching out there, not sure where to go, but trying again, connecting to people IS important, and one cannot ALWAYS be on the giving end of things, I am learning that now.....

I have been in fellowship a majority of my adult life, but, the past several years been ministering to others, and sometimes having people come to my home and pray etc. It is not like being connected to a church however...I also happen to believe one does not HAVE to belong to a church to have a relationship with God...

Lynn, thatnk you dear forgiving me the little PUSH:D to pursue this ....

as usual you are an earth angel....

Love and Sincerely
Mama Joyce

[lynnmosher]

Hey, precious soul, you are more than welcome. Just an added thought...I know nothing takes the place of our time with the Lord, but when we go to church, we add to that relationship, the interaction with others, and most importantly, we go to worship. I know, we can be anywhere to worship, but what did David say?

“I was glad when they said to me, ‘Let us go into the house of the LORD.’” And “One thing I have desired of the LORD, that will I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to inquire in His temple.”

The “house” of the Lord is our spiritual filling station. Yes, we can be filled with the Word, Christian programs, tapes, books, or whatever. But we need human contact…we need to worship with others, to interact, to give as well as receive. If you do not mingle with other members, you may miss God leading you to the one person He desires for you to help.

I don’t want to belabor the point and turn you away, so I will stop here. It’s just that I know your heart, and there are so many people out there that only you can help. God brought you through so much just so you could keep it to yourself? No. It is this: “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”

Okay, end of sermon!

[mama joyce]

Hi Lynn

I receive what you have shared and for the most part agree with you, we DO need to connect in person with one another for various reasons...I just am careful now when it comes to churches, am NOT looking for perfection at all, nothing is perfect except God and His Son Jesus Christ....I am merely saying when we represent God, we ought to do it with integrity, love,truth and spirit, and from what I have seen the CHURCH as we know it, needs HUGE wake up call......

I have always been used by God wherever I go, whether its church, a social function, work or ministry, or even in the grocery market...I have done well in my adult life with my relationship with God, truly, however, I did not FORSAKE the fellowship, I do have a couple people I pray with, in person, and worship daily even, but, I think perhaps it sounded like I was totally isolated, am not however, just estranged from church is all....

A church is a building with walls, we can assemble any where and call it church actually. I do however understand what you are saying Lynn, and I see your point and I must say also it is a valid point...

In my life's work and ministry, over the past 26 yrs or so, in church as well as out of church I have been led to reach many and minister to many...I just do not feel anyone HAS to go to church ,per sey, to be connected to the body, there are many ways we can do that in fellowship and worship...I do enjoy worshipping with others, Lynn, and fellowshipping.

I desire to reach out to church one more time here in calif and see if I am able to connect ...If not, I will wait until I move out of state, and try in a more country type atmosphere, where people are truly lovers of God, and hospitable...Unfortunately, there are a lot of uppity and persnickity people here, who think church is a business, and social club, not practicing the relational issues we need to grow and move forward....

I have seen many of churches run like a business, and it breaks my heart. If we are in the will of God, we do not have to run a church or a fellowship like a business, as long as we are good stewards of what God gives us, and how we obey Gods laws and treat one another.

God does NOT look at the religion or the church, He looks at the HEART...

With that I get off my soap box:D

I am rather unorthodox in my beliefs, but, am open to learning new things, teachings and growing and moving forward :) I do have a teachable spirit ;)

Much Love in Christ
Love Mama Joyce!thumbsup!

[lynnmosher]

You are a dear, giving vessel. You and God will find a way, whatever that way may be! Blessings! !thumbsup!