The Problem With Umbilical Cords

[DrRita]

Recently I’ve been struggling with some separation issues with one of my children and have been spending a lot of time in prayer and meditation about the problem. I had been feeling as though I were letting my youngest down because of a God-directed decision that seriously affected his future. As thoughts of decision reversal began to weaken my stand, God gave me this picture of my son, umbilical cord in hand looking at me as if to say . . . “So NOW where do I plug this in?” It was then I realized I’d been his life source for far too long and God wanted me to unplug him and let him go.


That picture brought up the whole issue of spiritual/emotional umbilical cords and that as Christians it is imperative we are plugged into the right life source. I can look back in my life and see where most of the time I plugged mine into the wrong place and as a result received little or no proper nourishment and major disappointment and discouragement.


As parents we are to transfer our children’s spiritual umbilical cords from us to God as early in life as reasonably possible. However, how many of us are truly plugged into God ourselves? Marriage, family, spouses, parents, material possessions, abilities . . . are all common, albeit inadequate plug-ins. Whatever we have put on the same level (or higher) constitutes a plug-in. How many women are plugged into their husbands expecting them to supply their emotional needs and spiritual guidance? Or how many men are plugged into their jobs/careers with the same expectation?


Umbilical cords; the life line humanity. We are all plugged into some source but like me, most of us don’t realize that we’ve plugged into the wrong place and wonder why are lives are spiritually weak or emotionally unstable. Perhaps it’s time trace it’s source and see just exactly where it’s plugged in. You might be surprised.

[lynnmosher]

DrRita, As always, you present the truth of God's Word beautifully, provoking the reader to stop and take stock of his life. This is a great piece. I loved it. Thank you for writing it and giving us all some truth to chew on. !thumbsup!

[DrRita]

Lynn,
Thanks for your humbling comments. I'm so glad it ministered in some small way.

[Pinecone Tortoi]

Mmm, this rings quite true for me at the moment. And I was surprised but enlightened to see abilities among the list of undesirable sources. I hadn't thought of those as being a life source, but I can see now how they can be. Only thing - I found the two questions at the end of paragraph three rather irrelevant to me. Is there another question that challenges singles, the unemployed and the generic 'everyone else'? Maybe for those who are plugged into their abilities/life-style/uni or school/family/friends? I know it's pretty much impossible to catch everyone, but there's a LOT of people who aren't married women or employed men, so perhaps a third question that addresses another common plug-in?

Also, I think there's meant to be an 'of' in the first sentence of the last paragraph.

Thanks for this - like Lynn said, it's thought-provoking and even if the reader doesn't find themselves fitting into a particular category or plugged into a listed source, they're still egged on to look at what they ARE plugged into - which is highly applicable to everyone. ^^

Piney.

[DrRita]

Thanks for the comments Piney. You are right . . . there are other resources to be plugged into besides mates or jobs/careers. Those do however represent the two largest sources . . . relationships and works. Thanks for pointing out the typo too.

[revterry]

Dr. Rita: While reading your article I thought about the times in life when I put a plug into an outlet but did not have power flowing into the electrical product I wished to use. My first thought was that it was broken, and plans were made to discard it. My second thought was to check the circuit to see if a fuse was blown. A third thought was that there was a power outage originating at the light pole. Finally, I thought to check the plug's position in the outlet. I discovered that I had not pushed it all the way in. It had been placed near the power, but not into the power. My parents took me to church three times a week, which put me near the power on a regular basis. It was not until I made the connection with the power that my life was changed.
We cannot push another's plug all the way into the power. they must choose to do that for themselves. But we certainly can show the incredible power that is available when the plug is all the way in.
Keep shining!

Rev. Terry

[MADAGLENE]

Thank you for your article, I use to think about how I could keep my children close to home when they were teenager, I prayed alwayed for them all the time God has kept me and my children he some time have to remind me, he's the same God when they were little evon tho a little older he the same he will not forsake me and he has not evon through our bumps and bruises . I hadto learn how to unplug and let go.

[DrRita]

Rev Terry,
I've used that word picture lots . . . I tell people that if someone gives you a toaster, it's useless until it's plugged into the power source. Same with us, we're given a new nature but it's useless unless it's plugged into the Power Source; Great analogy!! Thanks.

Madaglene,
You are so right . . . we certainly need to unplug them lest they become too dependent and won't be able to function as men and women. Thanks for sharing.

[chart]

Dr. Rita,

In ref. to:
"God gave me this picture of my son, umbilical cord in hand looking at me as if to say . . . “So NOW where do I plug this in?” It was then I realized I’d been his life source for far too long and God wanted me to unplug him and let him go..."

What a "profound visual" Dr, Rita! One, I will remember forever.

I have heard the term "plugged in" hundreds of times. Particulary in youth group. I wrote a curriculum for teens which included a chapter called "Plugged in". I used the analogy of a lamp; as we are to be like "lights in a crooked generation". When we are plugged into the ultimate light source we shine...etc.

It was your visual and phrase; "issue of spiritual/emotional umbilical cords", however, that spurred my thinking on. Perhaps from a different perspective. My husband and I are spiritual leaders to many. Our own children are grown and are maturing nicely in the Lord, however, I have felt that I have been too accomdating and enabling to those we shepherd. Sometimes to the point of carrying burdens that I had no business carrying. For me it's learning how to "cut the sheep's umbilical cord". I know my husband would agree that God wants us to unplug them and let them go...

Thanks, I needed that...!thumbsup!
C.Hart

[DrRita]

Thanks for the different perspective C. Hart. It's true, we sometimes carry more than God ever intended. I like the "sheep's umbilical cord" analogy. It fits some of my own past experiences!

[susan delaney]

Dear Dr. Rita,
I just had an opportunity to read your article on The Problem with Umbilical Cords and it couldn't have come at a better time. Within the past two weeks, I have been trying to orchestrate my two sons lives (26 & 28). Unfortunately, since both are struggling with alcohol and drugs I feel that despite my best efforts that I need to let them go and truly let God take control of their situations. I have been bailing them out financially, emotionally and spiritually for almost ten years and I'm sure God is just waiting for me to finish whatever I think I am doing, so that He can work it all out. But how can a mother just stand by and do nothing when she sees her children making mistakes or going under? My children have always relied on me for my spiritual direction and wisdom, even though they rarely used it. Now I see them both standing before me helpless with the umbilical cords in their hands, yet still not strong enough to make it on their own. The greatest fear that I have by letting them go is that they will drown in their own symbiotic fluids.

[DrRita]

Susan,
I truly feel your pain and know exactly what you are going through. I have had my share of that scenario and totally understand what it feels like to back away from the burning building!! And of course, it's totally a personal thing between you and God, one He will direct you in for sure.

But I do have to say that God knows the innermost thoughts, motives and fears of all of us including our children and definately knows how to keep them from drowning. Actually, His hope (and ours) is that they will plug into Him. And that's what needs to happen but it is difficult to watch them struggle.

Strength comes from exercise not from having someone else do it and there is no easy way to learn how to trust (for both us moms and our children) than to step out and do it. I will be praying for you Susan that God will assure your heart, He is able to hold all of you up.

[Kathie]

Dr. Rita,
I am new to Christianwriters and just had the opportunity to read your article. I am in awe just how applicable your message is to me at this point in my life. I just sent my first born son to college a few weeks ago. While this is enough to cause separation anxiety in any parent, for me it took on a whole new level of emotion. See, my son was born with a rare condition that has results in many many corrective surgeries over the years- some extremely painful. After his last surgery in 2004, we thought we were done, but God had other plans. During his senior year in high school, this past November, he had to undergo another surgery. Right at the time when he was supposed to be getting ready for independence, and I was supposed to be taking the steps to let him BE more independent-- we both were planted back in time where I had to take care of his every need, drive him to school with his wheelchair, hold his hand through painful physical therapy, etc. There were times I intensely struggled with being tough with him and coddling him.
I have come to realize now-- and your article solidified this in my heart-- that, while I struggled, and plugged and unplugged my own"cord" to God many times through out this journey, I wasn't the source of my son's faith, strength and healing. He was ( and is).
Thank you for this wonderful article.
Kathie

[DrRita]

Kathie,
Thank you for your encouraging words. Yes, isn't it so wonderful to know that has held and still holds both of you in His arms and gives strength and healing to all wounds. Bless you as you send off your son, may God be ever closer to you as you watch in the wings.