When do you use he said she said he did ....

[jacks girl]

There is many times that we write explaining things like he said or she said at the end of some sentence. How do you know when you are going over board and how often can you leave the saids and did's off the end of what our characters are doing.

Is there any writer's rules so to say on this topic. I worry that my readers will tire of these sayings and wonder if at times it's more of a habit then it is a necessity. What are your thoughts on this subject.

Jack's Girl sits at her computer thinking to herself, I wonder if anyone will give me a good answer to my question. I hope so, she said to herself.


To said or not to said that is the question? LOL


Sorry wrong place if someone wants to move me to Writers Lounge feel free... my mistake

[mel3]

I find that if you want to avoid the same old 'she said' 'he said' a good thing to do is concentrate on the character's mood/tone/ etc.

For example , if she/he is angry...

"Back off" she snapped. (Snapped indicates she is on edge)


Upset...

"Leave me alone" she quavered. (Quavered shows there is a wobble in her voice etc..)


It works for me though I sometimes make the big mistake of over describing!:o

Hope this helps and that I havnt grabbed the wrong end of the stick on this one!

[Phy]

I tend not to worry overmuch about 'he said' as I prefer it to the alternatives. I try not to go overboard with descriptive words (like the aforementioned 'snapped' and 'quavered'.)

Dialogue is easiest. Sometimes, I just introduce the characters in a passage of dialogue and let them ping-pong it back and forth.

[jacks girl]

I like your points that is a good idea say the same thing but show some emotion.

[TanyaSue]

Check out Noah Lukeman's The First Five Pages (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/068485743X?ie=UTF8&tag=inthedai-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=068485743X). He has a whole section devoted to writing excellent, believable dialog. As an editor, he asserts the majority of manuscripts can be assessed in the first five pages. This book helps writers fix those problems before submitting them. A great resource!

I agree with Phy --- I do a lot of "ping-ponging" and avoid the emotional substitutions to "said". I find the substitutions distracting and often redundant. If she says "Back off!" we know it's snapped. It's the nature of the statement. So then I'm left thinking about HOW she said it instead of WHAT she said. Good writing speaks for itself. It trusts readers to catch the details without always being told.

[Tarin]

I agree with Phy --- I do a lot of "ping-ponging" and avoid the emotional substitutions to "said". I find the substitutions distracting and often redundant. If she says "Back off!" we know it's snapped. It's the nature of the statement. So then I'm left thinking about HOW she said it instead of WHAT she said. Good writing speaks for itself. It trusts readers to catch the details without always being told.

You can also try working actions around the dialogue and avoiding the speaker tags. For example: "Wendy grabbed a package of hamburger out of the fridge. 'I am not going to that crummy diner again tonight!'

Jesse glared at her. 'Who asked you to?'"

You get the idea...:)

[whitehawke]

There you go. I've moved your thread to the writer's lounge. ;)

[Lookin^Up]

They're called "bookisms," those substitutions for "said" that are somehow supposed to enhance one's writing. I'm as big a culprit as anyone, but I understand it's accepted to used "said" or "asked" over the others. With very few exceptions here and there, I've been weeding all the bookisms from my writing.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

Only use speech tags when you need to and almost always use 'said' in that situation. I've read many writing books and that's the recommended advice.

[love2write]

Use tags sparingly, and avoid them as much as possible. Instead of saying, 'she snapped', use action.

She turned on him with her fists raised. "Back off!"

Honestly tags that use phrases like she quavered or she snapped, as an example, can weaken your writing. You want to show not tell.

[saz]

I was told once that anything other than 'said' interrupts the flow of the story. I agree that using action instead makes it more readable and interesting.

[Tarin]

As a general rule, it's a good idea to avoid "bookisms." But that doesn't mean that they are all bad in all situations. Use your gut. It is only when bookisms (or anything else) are overused that become distracting and annoying.

[Lookin^Up]

Thank you, Tarin. Seems to me that requiring "said" exclusively is the opposite extreme of liberally using bookisms. In most cases, a middle ground is best.

[Phy]

Thank you, Tarin. Seems to me that requiring "said" exclusively is the opposite extreme of liberally using bookisms. In most cases, a middle ground is best.

'In all things, moderation.' Where have I heard that before? ;)

[Lookin^Up]

'In all things, moderation.' Where have I heard that before? ;)
Some guy named Paul, I believe. (But not Chernoch. :D)

[mel3]

Use tags sparingly, and avoid them as much as possible. Instead of saying, 'she snapped', use action.

She turned on him with her fists raised. "Back off!"

Honestly tags that use phrases like she quavered or she snapped, as an example, can weaken your writing. You want to show not tell.

Thats a good point. I happily admit to the fact that I may overuse tags a tad too much and it does weaken the writing. I find it difficult to break the habit as thats how I was taught to write in school. They can be useful when used VERY sparingly.

[Lookin^Up]

I resemble that remark, Mel. I, too, have to catch myself and pull back, saying, "Would this line of dialogue work just as well with 'said' instead of 'cried'?" Or "instead of 'remarked' or 'commented' or 'snapped'?"

By the way, Mel, I love the montage of Tumnus you've adopted for your avatar. He did a great job of playing him, didn't he?

[mel3]

I resemble that remark, Mel. I, too, have to catch myself and pull back, saying, "Would this line of dialogue work just as well with 'said' instead of 'cried'?" Or "instead of 'remarked' or 'commented' or 'snapped'?"

By the way, Mel, I love the montage of Tumnus you've adopted for your avatar. He did a great job of playing him, didn't he?

Yep,James McEvoy was perfect in the role. He really brought Mr Tumnus to life. Not an easy task for a character so well known and loved by children and adults alike. I cant think of anybody else who could have done a better job!
The sweet face helps too!:D