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This is so exciting!! My school now has my full application, and now it's just the wait. The wait to see if I get in. I really hope so. I do need a grant to go though. It about 66,000 bucks a year for 5 years with the tuition going up 7% every year. I know. It's a crazy want to go to New York, especially since I have never bee, but I want to go to school there. Then go to Europe. But first, school in New York. Besides I have someone that I am going to meet over there. I have no clue who, but I've ...

I finally feel at peace, ya know? I'm finally listening to God, again, and I relize that the want to go to New York was not a real one. The real one is to stay here; it would be nice to go to Europe though! Just how? Cause I mean, it would be cool to go see it all, but I think I would get board pretty fast. Not board per say, just I want to do something that is for other people and not just out of my own selfish want.

Right now, though, focusing on life as of right now. It's hard ...

I know I should get some shut eye, but this seems impossible. I keep thinking of new ventures. New things. One moment I think of back tracking to school here, then it seems as if that idea is more of an uncertianty that I have. Cause the school that I hope to get into has an exchange out to Scotland! That would be so cool! (And really cool if I woke up with no bags or circles under my eyes.) Wait for God. Wait and wait. Then, all of a sudden we wonder were the time went to wait. I hope that does ...

This is just too much!! The torment of waiting for what God says to do in life is throwing me for the edge! Yes, I am doing something while I wait, but it's not something I love doing. Maybe that will change. Maybe not. Right now, I have want to go to New York and go to school there, but I feel as if the want is inside a tiny box ready to explode! Tick-tock, tick-tock goes the time bomb inside. One wrong touch and it will explode! God calm my heart.

What do I do when the troubles surround me?
What do I do when I cant find my way out?
What do I do when the world is falling apart.
Stand firm, stand strong, stand tall.
Trust the hand that you cannot see
Trust Him for I know that He guides me.
Trust Him when all seem to be lost.
Trust Him and surrender your will at any cost.
He'll walk with you like the footprints in the sand.
He will guide you with His Divine hand.
He will ...