Writing Prompt 28

[Tommie Lyn]

Here's another writing prompt, courtesy of my crit partner:


You experience an emotional disaster which will change your life forever.


Write a story of 300 words or fewer. There are no extra words to be included...

[jesterhawk]

Ok, I through this together in about 15 minutes at work. I think I did a descent job of it. What does everyone else think.


The Affair

The word still hung in the air as everything came crashing down around me. I wanted to believe that I had misheard her, but the tears in her eyes revealed the truth. She continued to speak apologizing over and over again but I no longer heard a sound.

My heart had burst open into a million pieces that fell to the ground and it seemed as if she was stomping on each and every piece. The lights in the room seemed to pulse and grow strangely dim. I could feel my blood pulsing through my veins and even hear my shattered heart in my ears. My skin felt like it was on fire and shedding off our my body.

I was torn. Part of me still loved her and wanted desperately for this to be a dream, a nightmare. And part of me just wanted to take revenge on her for having done this awful thing to cause me so much pain. Two factions battled within me and to my surprise not the one I would have expected was winning.

I should have left. I should have loved her more. But I found myself standing there crying with her. There was so much I wanted to say, needed to say, but all I did was cry and reach out my arms to give her a hug.

She ran into me grabbing me for all she was worth. I knew right then that even though she made a mistake she still really loved me. And even though I knew nothing would even be the same, I whispered softly, “Everything’s gonna be alright.” Because our love would conquer all.


Oh, and this time I did stay under the word count HOORAY!!

JH

[Tommie Lyn]

Good job, JH. And congrats for staying in the word limit. !thumbsup!

[Tommie Lyn]

Gone

Word Count: 292


“Leave me alone. I'm going, and that's that.”


The icy glare in Jean's green eyes silenced his further objections. Phillip swallowed his desperation and watched helplessly as she picked up her last suitcase and stalked out to the car.




Dust and gravel flew from under the tires as she wheeled the car from the driveway onto the ribbon of asphalt that led to town, and she sped away. And it was his fault that she was gone.




He'd excused his infidelity in his own mind while he was carrying on with the new partner in the firm. Jean was cold while Mariana was warm, inviting. Jean didn't understand him, didn't even try to, but he and Mariana shared unspoken moments when each knew what the other was thinking.




The deck overlooking the lake which was once their pride and joy, Jean's and his, now seemed empty as he paced its length. He stopped, leaned on the rail, seeking the peace he'd always found here, a peace which eluded him now.




Phillip returned to the kitchen, looked around it, took in every feature, from the knickknacks Jean had carefully chosen and placed just so, to the range where she should be standing at this moment, cooking supper. An emptiness and hunger deeper than he'd ever known assailed him and guilt gnawed at him.




It was his fault she'd left, his fault he was alone – and he would be alone from now on.




“But...” A tiny spark of hope illuminated his inner gloom. “Maybe I can win her back.”




The doorbell rang. Two uniformed men from the Sheriff's Office stood solemnly before him when he opened the door.




“Mr. Williamson?” one said.




“Yes.”




“I'm sorry to bring bad news, but there's been an accident . . .”

[jesterhawk]

Wow, great post!!

[Tommie Lyn]

Thanks, JH.

[melw]

WHY?
215 words

I didn’t think he would ever disregard my feelings like this. Did ever promise he made mean nothing? I never wanted any of this to happen.

“Please Brad, reconsider. We have so many other options. Why?”

Brad shooks his head. “This is really the only option. Besides I am needed.”

“What about what I need? Isn’t that important?”

Brad just looked at me and I knew my tears were hurting him. He could never bear to see me cry. I just couldn’t help them rolling down my cheek. I felt him move closer and he wiped my tears with a tissue. He gave me a quick kiss on the end of my nose.

“Oh Baby, don’t worry we will go through this together.” His smile was so comforting.

“I suppose moving won’t be too bad, we will be able to start over. It’s just it is so far away from everything I have ever known.”

“I’ll be there, and so will little Gracie.” He held up a pink teddy bear.

I smiled thinking of the little baby we were adopting and the move to a new state. I had forgotten this job of Brads was going to change our lives. I had also forgotten this was going to be best for our new little girl.




MEL

[Tommie Lyn]

Good job, Mel!

[jesterhawk]

Here is one that I put together based on someone I know. This is a conversation they told me they had. As it turned out, God saved them both so the decision to keep the baby and not abort was the right one.


The News

Neither of us said a word the entire car ride home. There was nothing really to be said and yet everything needed to be said. I could hear the words of the doctor echoing over and over again in my head replaying like a broken record.

We arrived home and slowly entered the house. The door closed behind me as I could see the pain and hurt in my wife’s eyes. I pulled grabbed her with my big arms and gave her a hug whispering that everything would be alright.

She sighed and then spoke words a few simple words that shattered my existence. “I want you to have the baby.”

“But the doctor said,” I argued.

“I know what the doctor said,” she rebutted, “But we have been trying for years and this is your only chance to have a child.”

I was shaking my head no as I pushed her away from me. “No, we can adopt. I’m not going to lose you.”

“You won’t be losing me,” she said as she grabbed my arm. “You will find me every day in your daughters eyes.”

For a long time I just stood there staring at my wife in disbelief and in amazement. I wanted to change her mind and yet I wanted to have a baby and I felt ashamed for thinking that way. Tears ran down my face.

She sensed my turmoil and gave me a kiss. “I want to do this for you my last gift of love.”

“But …”

“No buts,” she interrupted, “We don’t have time for that. We have to get you ready to raise our daughter.”

I never could win an argument with her so I gave in marking this day in remembrance to tell our daughter how brave her mother was.


This one is just 300 words. And I had to massage it to get it there. So, hopefully I didn't mess up the story.

JH

[Tommie Lyn]

Very touching, JH. Good job.

[Laina]

Great stories, Mel, JH and Tommie. I'm still thinking on one. I admire those of you who can write one so quickly. I seem to be a slowpoke and think on it for a couple days. .....still thinking. :-)

[jesterhawk]

Hey, what is the old saying, slow and steady wins the race. So, I am waiting for you to knock our socks off with your story :)

Speed doesn't mean a thing. Write what you write when you write it. We will wait for you with baited breath. Really. Now get thinking.... LOL!!

JH

[Laina]

Ha ha! I might knock a fuzzball off your sock maybe!

[Laina]

Somehow
Word count: 300

Sharon and Tom watched their daughter slam the volleyball over the net. Tom’s cell phone signaled a call, but Sharon continued to watch the game – her daughter. How proud she was of her 16 year old.

Tom flipped the phone closed. He touched Sharon’s shoulder to get her attention. “Sharon, we need to leave.”

Sharon was about to protest, but she looked into Tom’s eyes and fear gripped her. She followed Tom down the bleachers and out the door.

Tom ushered her to their car. “Let’s talk privately, Sharon.”

Another stab pierced her heart. She knew something was seriously wrong.

“Sharon, that call came from the sheriff’s department. They got a crime stopper’s tip about who burned down the Christian school. Sharon, Tommy did it.”

“No, no, no……………impossible. He couldn’t have done it, Tom.”

“Sharon, remember Tina? She’s the one that called it in. Tommy bragged about what he and Junior did at a party one night. She turned them in.”

Sharon’s eyes pleaded with Tom’s. “But Tommy’s not here. He’s at boot camp. It can’t be true.”

Tom brushed Sharon’s cheek. “It happened right before he left for the Army.”

Sharon burst into tears, gut-wrenching sobs. Tom touched Sharon’s hand, enclosed it in his own. He rubbed her skin as if he could rub the pain away. Tom kept his own anguish at bay. Sharon needed him and he needed to be strong.

“Listen, Sharon, Willy. . . Sergeant Randall is going to Fort Jackson today. He’s flying out this afternoon. He’s our friend and he’ll be gentle with Tommy.”

Sharon’s eyes, wet and red searched Tom’s as if he could make it all disappear. She fell into his chest and bawled. Tom wrapped her in his protective arms.

“Somehow, Hon, this will all work out for Tommy’s good. Somehow.”

[jesterhawk]

Ok, I call foul, and say no fair! Absolutely no far! You got me crying over here and at work and all. No fair!

And the reason why this is no fair is because if we set the way-back machine to early 1989, a young Pat (AKA Jesterhawk) was working for a camera supply store and just about to enter the Air Force and get his life together. Just before he left, he did something stupid, he took an expensive camera from the store he worked at. "They have so many," he thought, "Surely they wouldn't miss just one." Well, they did, and just after completing basic training, I was pulled out and placed on hold in Lackland AFB. I had to wait another three months to find out that the Air Force was going to kick me out with period. Nothing I said would change their minds which was odd because many of the people who were there were given second chances and I was not. But I was released into the custody of the San Antonio Police and placed in jail. My father, who received just such a call from the police in upstate NY, and then a very frightened one from me, flew to Texas to get me. I spent three days in Jail before they released me on bail into my father's custody to return to NY and stand trial. I wound up with a LOT of community service and a LONG time before I got the trust of parents back. But I eventually did it.

On the flip side, I returned to college, met my wife, got married, got saved, went on to get my degree and become an engineer. I eventually returned to Texas (Dallas-Fort Worth area) for work. Which my dad gets a kick out of because when we left I said, "I am never going to return to Texas." Then eleven years later I was moving down. But then this time it was God's will for me to be here and not just me seeking direction.

Anyway, your story really hit a cord with me. And even though I started this thread with crying foul, the fact that you could pull out and emotion in me is a good thing. Great writing. Seriously.

Love in Christ,
JH

[Tommie Lyn]

Very good story, Laina!

[Laina]

Yikes, Pat. Sorry to bring up bad memories through my story. I'm really sorry too that you didn't get a second chance with the military.

But you got the best second chance ever and it turned out for your good. I am happy to hear that you've turned your life over to the Lord after that difficult trial in your life. Many would have hardened their heart even more.

Thanks for thinking my story is a good one. I appreciate it. :)

[Laina]

Thanks, Tommie!

[Ink Blot]

"It's always bad when a kid has to die," the fire captain sighed.

Jen swung her head towards him. "What?!"

The captain directed her attention to the smashed car in the ditch. "He's there in the back seat." He didn't realize that she was unaware of the tragedy.

Suddenly the car seat came into her view. The brown-haired boy was still buckled into it as it hung at a 45-degree angle from the broken back seat of the vehicle. Here she had treated patients on the ground just a few feet from the car and never saw this boy until now. Her eyes were riveted on him, somehow trying to apologize for his unnoticed death.

The captain sensed her shame. He gently placed his hand on her shoulder. "He was already dead when we got on scene."

Jen remained silent. It didn't matter. He was alone in his death and people barely noticed. She didn't notice. That was unacceptable to her. "Children shouldn't die this way," she muttered angrily.

"You know he died instantly," the captain stated. "Just look at the force of the crash, Jen. You couldn't have done anything to change that fact." His tone softened. "You know he's in a much better place, in God's hands."

Jen flashed the captain a hard scowl and shook off his hand. "Don't go there, Jim. God's hand pushed that car into the tree. He killed this kid."

Jim was speechless. Of the two of them, Jen was more grounded in her Christianity. Until now. This boy's death got into her emotions and even shook her from her foundation of faith. He started to pray silently for her.

"What a great God of compassion," Jen stated sarcastically. She turned away from Jim and walked back to her ambulance. Little did he know that this was the last emergency call she would respond to again.

[Tommie Lyn]

Powerful story, Ink Blot!

[Laina]

What Tommie said. Wow!