Writing Prompt 26

[Tommie Lyn]

Here's another writing prompt from my crit partner. Hope you enjoy writing to it....write it with 300 words or fewer:

Your best friend gives you a surprise birthday party, but you are not the one who is surprised.



Surprise, Surprise
Word Count: 289



“Hey, darlin',” Andy said when I answered the phone. “You busy tonight?”


“No. Rob has another meeting. He'll be eating supper downtown,” I replied, and paused. I knew why he asked that question. “What about you?”


“Lurlene's got something going with that group of y'all's friends. So . . . we've got a couple of hours.”


I closed my eyes and savored the image his words created in my mind. I cleared my throat. “I've got to be at home to take a phone call about seven. How about I pick you up at the mall and we go to my house for a while?”


He chuckled. “Anything you say, darlin'.”


Andy isn't the handsomest of men. He's also my best friend Lurlene's husband. But there's no denying the attraction between us. A fire smolders in Andy, flashes from his brown eyes, a fire that burns through my defenses. And though I knew it was wrong, I gave in to my passions.


I've told myself that we have to end it, but each time I see him, my good intentions melt like a chocolate bar on the dash of my Toyota in August. Andy smiles, raises one eyebrow, and I'm lost.


I watched the clock, willing the minutes to scurry by. Finally, it was time to pick Andy up. I pulled into the mall parking lot, Andy slid into the passenger seat, and we were on the way to my house.


While I fumbled with the key in the lock, Andy unbuttoned my blouse and pulled his shirt over his head. As the door swung open, Andy kissed me and the lights came on.


“Surprise! Happy Birthday!” yelled Lurlene and my other girlfriends.


I blinked. “But my birthday's not til next week.”

[melw]

this was a hard one Tommie, but being sick means i am not going out tonight so i could do it.

Who’s surprised?

I was going to home early, Brad had organised a romantic dinner date. I had been so pleased he had organised that. I had no idea what was waiting for me at home.

At home I saw the cars and recognised a few. I knew Brad had planned a surprise party for me. I had accidentally found out, but at least I could act surprised. He would be surprised because I was coming home earlier that he had planned.

I walked up the stairs and heard whispering. I peeked around the corner and held back a gasp. Brad and Lydia, my best friend, were close, very close to each other. It only took a moment to see what was going on, as they kissed in the hallway in front of my apartment.

I took a few steps back and stomped up the last few steps before turning the corner. Brad stood in front of my apartment door smiling. I forced out a smile and acted like nothing was wrong.

He ushered me in and the whole room full of my friends yelled surprise. I smiled and then said “I have some news too. I am moving, sorry Brad and Lydia, I haven’t had the chance to tell you.”

Brad and Lydia both came up after the shock had worn off. “What is going on?”

“I need to move on, you belong together I see that now.” I turned back to real friends and by the end of that night I had moved out. I sat in my car and waited for the realisation to hit me. I was alone and so scared, I had never been alone.

Now I had gone through a year alone and things were hard, but getting better. Never would I see Brad or Lydia again. That year a fire had guttered the apartment buiding. 7 people’s remains were found. I always wished I could have told them I forgave them, in the end I did, but it was too late.

[Laina]

Great stories Tommie and Mel!!!

[jesterhawk]

“Surprise! Happy Birthday!” yelled Lurlene and my other girlfriends.


I blinked. “But my birthday's not til next week.”I was sooooo thinking in my head surprise birthday party with Lurlene before I read these lines. Great turn.

[jesterhawk]

Ok, I am apologize ahead of time. I missed the mark by 14 words (wow 300 words is a hard mark to hit), but I just can't seem to find where I can trim them because as all of us writers are I love this little piece. So, I hope you don't mind. Here is my story starter.


I clutched my chest as my heart raced and my breath ran low. I could barely keep myself together as sweat ran down my face and my hands shook. I had hoped that none had seen my anxiety, my anticipation for this moment in time that had been a long time coming and yet was only about to begin. I could hardly contain myself.

Our horses had seemed to travel half the known world to ascend this final mountain where once conquered my bride would I be able to first lay my eyes upon. I did not know what to expect and how much would I be able to see of her as she would standing along on the ramparts of her father’s castle waiting for me.

We had been exchanging letters for some time now. They were formal at first, ridged, even cold. But over time, she began to open up to me and share about her hopes, her dreams, and even her worries and her fears. I had come to cherish these letters. I could not wait for the next one to arrive. In fact, I drove half my father’s servants mad if the letter was even a moment late in arriving.

But now the moment had come and the final crest of land was just about to pass and I was about to meet her when my heart fell through a thousand hells as I beheld her father’s castle lying in flames. I could hold back the emotions no more as rage mixed with heartache and anger mixed with loss. Tears rolled down my face.

I could hear my father shouting commands to our entourage, but I was lost in my own world and far from him as I grabbed the reigns and spurred my horse and galloped off towards the flames. I had to know. I had to find out.


I might actually write more to this because now my own mind is a flurry about what happened and where his bride is if she survived and so forth. Now see what you started ... THANKS!

JH

[Tommie Lyn]

Good job, Mel. And nice piece, Jesterhawk.

[Laina]

Happy Birthday, Karen
Word Count: 298


“Mike, you ready? It’s already seven.”

“Yeah, Hon. Just had to find my keys.”

Mike roared up the engine. “Good thing Patty lives close, huh?”

Karen opened the visor mirror and added a touch of lipstick. “Since it’s a surprise party we can be late.”

Mike pulled into Patty’s driveway. “Just act surprised, okay?”

Karen made a face.

Mike brushed her shoulder with his fist. “Funny, Karen.”

Karen rang the bell. “There’s no lights on. Something’s happened . . . wait, hold on, there’s a note taped to the door.”

Sorry Mike, Karen. Had an emergency. Will call you later. Look behind the bush nearest the door, Karen. I left your present there. We’ll celebrate another day, okay? Happy Birthday, Karen!

Mike drew Karen close. “Hey, let’s go out to eat. We’ll go wherever you want.”

Karen brushed the lint off her slacks and slid into the passenger side. “How about that new seafood place.”

Mike pulled into the parking lot. An Hispanic woman stood in the headlights, a baby in her arms with two other clinging children.

Karen looked at Mike. Their eyes held. “Mike what are we going to spend on dinner tonight?”

Mike turned in is seat. “Oh, about 50 bucks with the tip.”

“Can I change my mind about dinner and spend it how I want?”

Mike knit his brow. He fished for his wallet, thumbed through his bills and pulled out a fifty-dollar-bill.

Karen slipped it from his fingers, and walked over to the woman. Mike followed.

Surprised, the woman’s jaw dropped, her eyes grew wide and pooled. She covered her mouth and burst into tears. “Muchas gracias, Senora,” she choked, bowed and walked away.

Mike held Karen, lifted her chin, their lips met. “Just for that, we’re going to eat seafood tonight. Happy Birthday, Karen.”

[jacks girl]

I haven't read anyone story yet I didn't want it to change what I would write. I like these short stories it makes it hard. 300 words

It was Friday I was going home waiting on the light to turn.

"What a way to spend my 30th birthday."

I sighed as the light changed. For the last five years my friend had planned a party for me. When I came home from work friends and family would be waiting.

Kelly and I were close but if she threw me one more birthday party I was going to move. I was so tired of having fake surprise parties. As usual I knew about the decorations, the food and the cake. I all but planned it myself by answering questions she’d throw out to me.

This time I told her I wanted Chinese and I’d even gave her a name of a special guy from work. We’d been exchanging smiley faces for a while now and I wanted some great excuse to be alone with him so we could talk.

As I pulled into the driveway I smiled Kelly wasn’t here yet. I had time to run in and make a quick change for my very special Birthday Party. When the door opened I seen Kelly standing there with Mark the guy from work. The decorations were all in place and the food was there and she’d brought me the only gift I wanted, some alone time with Mark.

The look on her face was priceless; I smiled as she stood there. Thanks for the Birthday gift. She looked at me and shook her head. “Where is everyone?”

“Oh I called them and told them the party was cancelled because I had a date.”
Mark looked as confused as Kelly. I took him by the hand and pulled him in out of the rain as I closed the door and smiled at Kelly.

Thanks again for the present. .

[Tommie Lyn]

Good job Laina and Jacks!

And I love your new banner, Jacks.

[Laina]

Great story JH. Hope to see you here often. Good job Jacks!

[jacks girl]

Thanks about the banner and the story. I think the link to the place where I made it is right there some where. Its a pretty neat site. You have to have a different kind of version over at Nano. But i saved it as both versions and it seems to keep one after you place it on a site.

jacks

[jesterhawk]

Great story JH. Hope to see you here often. Good job Jacks!Thanks. Funny thing is I joined a while ago and then forgot about the site. I know how could I. And then I was searching for writers aids and came across the site again. Went to sign up and found my username used which most often means that it was me and I signed up. Tried my password and sure enough it was me. So, long story short, yes, I intend to be around because I love it here!!

Love in Christ
JH