writing prompt 5

[melw]

i thought i would help Tommie Lyn out

the topic is A Stranger

Use the words

roof
river
smoke
lace
temper

Good luck


MEL

[Tommie Lyn]

Mel, thanks for your thoughtfulness in posting a writing prompt. I wish others would do so, too.

And thanks a bunch for this particular prompt. Here's my offering:



The Stranger
Word Count 500


The sameness of each day, one after the other, usually didn't impress itself on Janie, but for some reason, this day, it all accumulated into an unbearable mass. She removed the dirty dishes from the counter and wiped it clean. She knew a spate of her infamous bad temper loomed. Her break had come and gone, and the desire to smoke raged. Like other unfulfilled longings in her life. But at least she could fulfill her craving for a cigarette.

She cleared a table, pocketed the $1.25 tip. Bitter images of her youthful hopes and dreams plagued her today, and she didn't know why. She'd wanted a life of love and happiness. What she got was a life destined to be a long series of orders to be taken, tables to be cleared, and chintzy tips. And going home each night to a lonely room at Mrs. Baker's boarding house.

A stranger entered, his arrival noted by other customers. He glanced around the cafe, his eyes resting for a brief moment on the incongruous dingy lace curtains strung across the tops of the greasy windows. His gaze swept over the scarred tables and chairs and, after a slight hesitation, he sat at the counter on one of the unoccupied stools.

Janie forgot her desire for a cigarette. The Blackwater River Cafe didn't often attract anyone other than its usual customers, and this one excited her curiosity.

“What'll it be?” Janie asked.

“Coffee.”

She poured a cup and set it in front of him.

“Don't remember seein' you around,” she said.

He didn't answer, but took a long swig of his coffee and immediately grimaced and grunted and hurriedly set the cup down.

Janie frowned. “What's the matter? Our coffee ain't good enough for ya?”

“Too hot. Burned the roof of my mouth.”

“Oh. Sorry. Don't take such a big--”

“Could I have a glass of cold water?”

She brought the water, and as she started to set it on the counter, the stranger looked up and their eyes met. A warmth flooded through Janie's body, as though his brown eyes, hot and sweet like a cup of cocoa, imparted heat where ever they rested. She tried to look away but couldn't. His eyes held her until he released her.

“Thank you, Janie.” He took a mouthful of the cooling liquid and held it for a moment before he swallowed.

“I . . . I . . . how do you know my name?”

He smiled, slow and sensuous, and pointed to her shoulder. “Your name tag. Janie's a nice name. Pretty. Like you.”

Janie colored and gulped. “Oh.”

“Don't be embarrassed. Since our lives are so short, we shouldn't waste time on trivialities. I think we should come right out and say what's on our minds. Don't you?”

“I . . . I . . .”

“You look like a nice girl. And I think I'd like to know you better.”

Janie smiled. She sensed that in an instant, her life had turned a corner, and nothing would be the same again.

[Tommie Lyn]

Mel, have you written a story using your prompt? I know you're editing right now, but writing a prompt story might give you a needed break, and it doesn't take very long.

And I'd like to see stories from others, too....

TL

[JayBee]

The Stranger

The car came to rest at last on its roof inches from the river bank.
Smoke from the wreckage curled upwards through the lace silhouette trees towards the darkening sky.
Jimmy groaned ‘Never should have lost my temper,’ he thought.
He moved, carefully testing each limb as slowly feeling came back into his body, numbness gradually disappearing with each passing second.
“Let me help you said a voice in the darkness.”
Jimmy looked in the general direction of the sound but couldn’t see anyone.
“Over here” he shouted feeling awkward, “I’m OK.” He added as an afterthought.
Not looking back, he scrambled awkwardly to his feet limping a little at first but soon gained strength in his stride as he headed for the road and the long walk back home to Jenny.
He had just stepped through the park gateway when the explosion occurred.
‘She’s not going to believe me’ he thought as he turned toward home.

[Tommie Lyn]

Good job, JayBee.

[VLSmith]

Okay, I have to be brief, but I'll give this a whirl.

A Stranger

He sat on the roof, watching the boats on the river and enjoying the last puffs of his cigarette. A few more shingles and this job would be over. He had already lingered longer than he should have because of her. If her husband ever found out...Well, no man wants to find a stranger in his house.

His smoke break ended and he tried to focus on his work. But his mind continued to wander to her. What she could so with her hands was nothing short of magical. He had learned so much in his short time with her. Did it really have to end now?

When he finished the roof, he gathered his tools and headed in to say his farewells. He didn't want to seem needy, but one look at her was all it took.

"I know he could be home soon, but could we...I'll never ask again."

She simply nodded.

They did not hear her husband pull in the driveway, come up the walk, open the door. When he saw them in the dining room, his temper flared.

But before he could speak, he heard his wife say, "Johnny, that's the prettiest doily you've made yet. I think your grandmother will be proud of the lace maker you've become!"

[Tommie Lyn]

Good job, VL -- nice twist at the end.

[jacks girl]

Word count 212 and yes Captin John Ames really did exist and True Temper was the name of the company in 1949. I told you all Im a facts nut and I wanted badly to use the name temper in a different way.


The Stranger
Parkersburg, WV 1949

The doors to the small church stood open though it was cold. The SMOKE
from the fireplace could be seen floating above the ROOF of the cabin that was also the school. Down the street Henry Ames was putting the last nail into his new sign that proclaimed the new name of his family's business.

True Temper, their new name now reflected he newly developed process of tempering steel. His great,great,great, grandfather Captain John Ames would be proud of what the company had grown into. But right now Henry had other things on his mind. He put away his tools thinking he needed to et people to know and trust him. He was a stranger in town and needed the local folks to come buy his new shovels. Also his mind was on getting the pretty school teachers attention.

Henry turned and watched as the small crowd gathered for church he walked the small distance and crossed the RIVER. He could see the white LACE from Charlotte's scarf. She was beautiful and Henry was good at selling things. He hoped as he ran to Charlotte's side and offered her his arm that he could convince her she should take a chance and spend some of her time on him.

[Tommie Lyn]

Cool, Jacks -- 212 words!

[melw]

427words and i just wrote this quickly this morning. i hope you like it

A Stranger

Annabella stretched her back and looked up from her perch. She had just finished repairing the shingles on the roof. She wished the farmhands weren’t so lazy, but without her brother around they didn’t always do as they were told.

She stood up and could see the smoke rising from the bunkhouse’s stove. It reminded her that it was well past lunch time and she had to have something ready for her brother when he came home.

She circled around the roof to the ladder and started down, hoping no one would notice that she was wearing her brother’s britches. She hadn’t noticed the man who had ridden in from the direction of the river until she got almost to the ground. She screamed as she felt hands go around her waist and lifted her from the ladder and placed her on the porch steps.

She looked up with anger, her temper rising. “How dare you? Who are you anyway?”

Blue eyes twinkling with humour regarded her. “Is that anyway to treat your brother’s best friend?”

“Lucas? Oh no!” Annabella ran inside to get changed. She had always heard about Lucas Campbell, but never met him.

Annabella dressed quickly, knowing her hair was going to be a mess. She decided to allow the red curls to be pulled back just with a ribbon. She smiled at her reflection; the lace of the gown accentuated her tiny waist.

She opened the door to find her brother lounging on the steps with Lucas. “Hello Carl,” she said in her sweetest voice.

“Bella, did I hear right, you were in my britches on the roof?”

“It needed fixing.” Annabella had the most innocent look on her face.

Her brother laughed and spun her around. He turned to Lucas and said. “You my friend I believe have met your match.”

Annabella looked up at Lucas than back to her brother. “Match?”

Carl smiled and said. “Yep, Lucas is the man your brother thinks would be the best one for you. He also knows how to run a ranch. You, my little sister cannot expect to run a ranch without a foreman like Lucas.”

Carl sat back down and said. “Welcome to Annabella’s ranch and I hope you can keep her temper under control and manage her wild ideas. I sure can’t”

Lucas gave her a 100 watt smile. “I am sure Annabella and I can come to some agreement.”

That gave Annabella shivers. The stranger was meant to be her employee, but knew it might one day be more.

[Tommie Lyn]

Just realized I hadn't commented on your piece, Mel. Good job -- and good prompt!