I need help

[dlreed]

I wanted to start a new thread for those who write less.
I have a problem. I can't seem to say it all in less than a page.
I can't seem to shake what I learned in college....
which was the beginning, the hook or middle and then the end which is the most important and should tie in with the first two parts. To me the end has always been the most important part of a poem.
So with all that being said.... I know that I need to work on writing more with less words. That is why I always hated the Haiku assignments. But Keith's thread actually inspired me.
I have written just a few one liners
I have my own card line so I don't buy a lot of store bought cards but I loved one that I saw the other day & bought a birthday card that said it all about my best friend who I have had since we were four It's not her birthday for a few months but I had to get it...

On the front it said:
I had the greatest friend
when I was a little kid...
On the inside it said:
And I got to keep her
for the rest of my life!
Isn't that good?!

Okay so here is my one liner.....
I wrote this in the front of one of my journals:

We read to know we are not alone

I may want to use that in one of my book introductions someday. I was so proud that I could actually come up with a one liner!

I was hoping that this thread would inspire more one or two sentence lines?
Thanks!:)

[lynnmosher]

Diane, I like the idea of oneliners, however, I'm wondering if this shouldn't be moved to the Writer's Lounge for it really isn't poetry. What do you think?

[dlreed]

Lynn,
Thanks for taking the time to read this. Another example of my not being able to write less! LOL.
No, I don't agree about moving this thread.
My point was that my poems are too long.
I am looking for examples of other people's works that are anywhere form 1 to about 4 lines. Not just Haikus but actual poems.
Which is what I have a hard time with. I need to see how other people manage to write less. I have seen it done in here and I just thought it would be helpful for some of us, mainly me who have trouble cutting it down. Even my cards are long ~ though I think God inspired and sometimes I can't stop till I feel He is finished inspiring me with every word and if I keep at it, I get that good ending because I feel it is from Him.
Okay now you seeeeee....? I couldn't even answer you with a short answer! And I don't think it is just because I am a writer at heart, I actually think there is a talent to saying more with less words. Does that make sense?

[lynnmosher]

Aha! Gotcha! I thought you just meant oneliners. I understand now. Thanks! I don't know how much input I will have for I don't think I can squeeze my words down either and I'm not one with a lot of words to begin with! LOL!

[dlreed]

Oh Lynn,
You were one I was hoping for in-put!!!

[lynnmosher]

I know nothing of haiku. However, what better way to learn. Will work on it, just for you! LOL!

[Colin]

Whatever you say; say nothing.....not a oneliner of mine I hasten to add! I was thinking..ouch...that if we are a storyteller and a poet as well ; we try to tell that story and sometimes it just goes on and on! I think that is what happens to me. I learned to beef up my essays at school with plenty of adjectives and I still want to do that in my poems! There was a limerick thread here Diane which is of five line verses. I must have a think about this. A lady who want to say more in less words....hmmmm!

[JayBee]

evangelise.......if necessary use words
St. Augustine i think

[dlreed]

I love em... Keep them coming!
Thanks for jumping on board. I really need to work on this.
I am trying... even in my posts....

Less is more.... (<<That one is NOT mine but good *wink*)

[Rebecca]

This doesn't belong in the workshops. I'll place this in writing prompts and adjust critique points accordingly.

Rebecca

[dlreed]

Guess you were right Lynn.
It did need to be moved

[dlreed]

Okay, I found it again...
Kind of tucked away...
Hope the move doesn't distract everyone from trying...

[lynnmosher]

Diane, I'm wondering something. When you sign in, do you go start for the poetry workshop? Do you look at other sections? The best way to see what is new since your last visit is to click on new posts over on the left under your avatar. This gives you new posts of all the site's sections. Just a thought.

[dlreed]

Lynn,
No! You are right. I was telling Rebecca last night in chat that I need to explore this place a bit more! You have me pegged!!!! I will go see what's out there more.
Thanks! :)

[lynnmosher]

I thought that might be the case. There is so much more on this site that I hate for you to miss any of it.

[dlreed]

Thank you.
We need more like you on this site. Your heart is so transparent and helpful! I am glad we met. I have been wandering around since your advice and you are right!

[lynnmosher]

Yay! You'll find it's filled with all kinds of goodies! And thank you, dear. I'm glad we met also!

[jacks girl]

It took me forever to find that button Lynn. But I finally did.

[lynnmosher]

Good! It's so much easier when you use new posts!